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She isnt a slut either. In truth, my wife has been with less men in her life than a lot of single women we know

Actually, I've never considered a woman's past sexual experiences to label her a slut or not. I think the present tense would be best to use. In other words, if the woman is sleeping around, swinging around or whatever, in the present tense, then I would tend to label her a gal with some serious um, to put it nicely, problems. I think by nature alone, women tend to be monogamous. It's normally the guy that simply wants to spread his seed around. Maybe I missed it, but who initiated this swinging stuff? You or her?