Tertullian asserts that second marriages should be eschewed by the laity because they're forbidden to the priesthood. Furthermore, he asserts that of the Apostles, only Peter was married.
Eusebius preserves a fragment of a letter by Polycrates to Pope Victor (c. 190) in which the author asserts that Philip had three daughters, who remained virgins.
The Council of Elvira, ca. 300 (canon 33) states bluntly that married clergy "are to restrain themselves completely and are to keep away from their wives and are not to beget children."
The council of Arles, ca. 314 (canon 1) states that the presbyter that marries is to be "removed from the ranks."
Basil (letter to Amphilochius) bluntly refers to the marital relations of "clerical persons" as fornications, asserting that "their union must certainly be broken."
Epiphanius of Salamis (ca. 374) states that the ecclesistical canons unambiguously prohibit the ordination of men not continent from their wives.
Jerome (letter to Pammachius, 392) states that "persons chosen to be bishops, presbyters, or deacons are either virgins or widowers; or certainly, having once received the priesthood, they remain forever chaste."
Leo I (letter to Rusticus, ca. 458) states as an accepted fact that married laymen or lectors might marry and be subsequently ordained or consecrated as bishop, but "what before was lawful ceased to be such. In order, therefore, that their marriages may become spiritual rather than carnal, it behooves them not to dismiss their wives, but to 'have them as if they had them not'; and this way, while they retain the affection of their wives, their marital relations will cease."
Finally Gregory I writes to Peter, a subdeacon in Sicily: "Three years ago the subdeacons of all the churches in Sicily, in accordance with the custom of the Roman Church, were forbidden all conjugal intercourse with their wives. But it appears to me hard and improper that one who has not been accustomed to such continency, and has not previously promised chastity, should be compelled to separate himself from his wife, and thereby (which God forbid) fall into what is worse. Hence it seems good to me that from the present day all bishops should be told not to presume to make any one a subdeacon who does not promise to live chastely; that so what was not of set purpose desired in the past may not be forcibly required, but that cautious provision may be made for the future. But those who since the prohibition of three years ago have lived continently with their wives are to be praised and rewarded, and exhorted to continue in their good way. But, as for those who since the prohibition have been unwilling to abstain from intercourse with their wives, we desire them not to be advanced to a sacred order; since no one ought to approach the ministry of the altar but one who has been of approved chastity before undertaking the ministry."
Peter was married. End of story, as far as I'm concerned.
Also, I don't recall Jesus telling anyone they couldn't marry, but perhaps I just missed it.
As for having a 'divided heart' due to being in love with a woman: for most people, the breathless, single-minded state called 'being in love' doesn't last very long before being replaced by a deeper, quieter sort of love (or so I've heard). Secondly, perhaps, just perhaps, loving someone deeply helps you learn to love *other* things more easily; that's what I believe, anyway.
Tuor