Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

A FOUL FOWL... OR, WHY THE FRENCH STINK
EZ ^ | Nathan Porter

Posted on 03/29/2002 11:08:35 AM PST by Sir Gawain

A FOUL FOWL
OR, WHY THE FRENCH STINK

By: Nathan Porter

Is there any doubt why Chuck Jones made Pepe le Pew (the animated skunk who stunk) French? To paraphrase Gertrude Stein, in France, one must adapt oneself to the fragrance of a urinal, which isn’t surprising given the fact that in much of Europe one must pay for the privilege of using a urinal, and since the French are so cheap, they must be pissing on themselves. Mark Twain once wrote, "The French were the connecting link between man and monkey." He forgot to mention the fact that the monkey didn’t smell as bad as the Frenchman. My first experience with the French was as a 15-year-old traveling overseas. While rinsing off at the public shower at a Mediterranean beach, a French woman took the spigot next to me. The first thing I noticed was that she was topless. Then I took note of her massive breasts. "WOW," I thought. "Europe is the place for me." As I stood there ogling her breasts, I began to dream about what life in such a society must be like. Then something awful happened. She raised her arms and ran her hands through her hair. EGAD! The woman was hiding the Black Forest under there. And what’s worse, she stank! It is a smell I will always associate with the French. I know what you’re thinking. You’re saying to yourself, "Hey, Nate. Ever been to a Lilith Fair concert?" I understand your point. In the states, there are pockets of society where women embrace body-hair/body-odor chic. But the only women in America who do not shave their armpits are those who want to be men and those who want to act French. The French stink. Why should we take seriously the opinions of people who have such little regard for personal hygiene?

But as foul as the French smell, it pales in comparison to their stinking attitude toward America and American interests. Jerome Godefroy of RTL French Radio summed up the French view of America when he said, "…There is this feeling not only with the French government, but the French public, the people of France, that many things are imposed by the United States. Not only this shield [SDI] but also, you know, your genetically [altered] food, the pollution. You only represent 5 percent of the population of this planet and suddenly you want to impose to the rest of world many things."

But it seems to me that it is the French who are always imposing on us. Imposing their socialist, humanist worldview by refusing to assist in our war against terrorism unless we play by their rules. Case in point, Zacarias Moussaoui. The Justice Department has finally announced that it will seek the death penalty for Moussaoui, the French citizen who has been charged with taking part in the September 11th conspiracy, even though he was in a Minnesota jail that day for immigration violations. France has reiterated its intent to oppose the death penalty if he is convicted, and announced that it will offer him diplomatic support while he's on trial. "We do not accept the death penalty," French Justice Minister Marylise Lebranchu said. That’s cool I don’t either. I oppose the death penalty because I am pro-life—I trust God to determine when life should end, not the Justice Department, a suicide doctor, or a capricious mother-to-be. I can respect and understand the French voicing their opposition to it, despite the fact that many legal experts believe it makes sense to seek the death penalty if only to build in a potential compromise. But of course the French don’t stop there. Moussaoui is receiving French consular protection, which includes diplomatic visits to the inmate, support for his family in France, and assuring a "fair trial according to French standards." Don’t you just love the French? One of their citizens gets caught in our country conspiring to kill thousands of Americans and they want us to try him according to French standards, whatever those may be.

The French interference in this case goes even deeper. France has also indicated that because the US is seeking the death penalty they might fail to cooperate in sharing evidence, of which they have plenty. Moussaoui, you see, was also under investigation by France. The difference being, if they were to convict him he could try suing for wrongful life, and if we convict him he might face a rightful death. Defenders of the French position point to our treaties with France that talk about not cooperating in an investigation where the death penalty is sought. But here’s the point, while the US cannot force France to ignore the terms of a treaty, they don’t have to obstruct the prosecution by insisting on them. It’s their call. They can help out an ally when it needs them most or hold onto some smug, false air of superiority over the death penalty. It’s not like we’re asking them to support the death penalty, we’re asking them to support our prosecution, which may or may not result in a death penalty. Moussaoui may walk free without their assistance, is it asking too much of the French to bend a little just this once? After all, they owe us.

The French started the Panama Canal, and the US finished it. The French rolled over in WWI, the US came in (a bit late) to free them. The French rolled over in WWII, and the US freed them. The French started the Viet Nam War, and the US lost 50,000 men trying to finish it. And what have the French done in return? They adopted Jerry Lewis as their favorite American. Hardly a fair trade.

To hear the French tell it, they will obstruct our prosecution of Mousaoui in order to preserve the high moral standards of the French judicial system, which values life. This is the same French judicial system that last fall issued a verdict in which it declared a right not to be born, leading one reasonable Frenchman to declare, "Certain judges still believe that it is better to be dead than to be handicapped." That is unless one is a convicted terrorist facing the American death penalty. In that case it is much better to be alive. This is the same country whose National Ethics Committee has embraced human euthanasia and a right to die. In short, this is France; a country that believes in a right not be born, a right to die after being born, a right to live after killing thousands, but no right to life for those most vulnerable among us. I stand in awe of French enlightenment.

The national bird of France is a Rooster. How appropriate that the national symbol of French pride is a cock.


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Editorial; Foreign Affairs
KEYWORDS:

1 posted on 03/29/2002 11:08:35 AM PST by Sir Gawain
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: victoria delsoul; sabertooth; tpaine; OWK; nunya bidness; AAABEST; Mercuria; MadameAxe; redrock...
-
2 posted on 03/29/2002 11:09:37 AM PST by Sir Gawain
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Sir Gawain
Smells like fromage to me.
3 posted on 03/29/2002 11:12:09 AM PST by TADSLOS
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Sir Gawain
A leftwing friend once said it best, "The French are first rate second raters!" They fit somewhere between the industrialized nations and the third world.
4 posted on 03/29/2002 11:16:51 AM PST by DSHambone
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Sir Gawain
My Grandfather always maintained that the all of the evils of the modern world eminated from France. I was fluent in Frog, I grew up in Frog Canadian Neighborhood, you had to know when they were stabbing you in the back, I forgot my FRog when I went to France in the 70's.
5 posted on 03/29/2002 11:19:13 AM PST by Little Bill
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Sir Gawain
The French rolled over in WWI, the US came in (a bit late) to free them.

Untrue.

They fought magnificently, and suffered losses much greater than we have in any war other than the WBTS.

WWII, different story. But don't denigrate their courage in WWI.

6 posted on 03/29/2002 11:22:27 AM PST by Restorer
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Restorer
They fought magnificently, and suffered losses much greater than we have in any war other than the WBTS

Yes, and they have their bones on display at Verdun to prove it. Incredible carnage and many acts of courage. Too bad their current generations fail to see the connection to today's fight with their own ancestors' struggles.

7 posted on 03/29/2002 11:27:51 AM PST by TADSLOS
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 6 | View Replies]

To: Sir Gawain
To paraphrase Gertrude Stein, in France, one must adapt oneself to the fragrance of a urinal, which isn’t surprising given the fact that in much of Europe one must pay for the privilege of using a urinal, and since the French are so cheap, they must be pissing on themselves

You used to be able to piss in the street. Anyone remember the pissoir?
8 posted on 03/29/2002 11:31:38 AM PST by pt17
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Restorer
Absolutely. They suffered casualties that would have shattered most other countries.
9 posted on 03/29/2002 11:32:55 AM PST by jalisco555
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 6 | View Replies]

To: Sir Gawain
Bookmarked!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"We do not accept the death penalty," French Justice Minister Marylise Lebranchu said.

What are they going to do about it, fart in our general direction?

Who gives a rat's arse what the cheese eating surrender monkeys think? They've pre-surrendered through World War 6 (credit to an unknown Freeper for that one). Hell, they sheltered Khomeini for how many years, then just let the sumbitch go and topple the Shah. Now we face a possible war with a hostile and potentially nuke-armed foe of western civilization. Those whores of the world sold Saddam a nuke reactor for crying out loud! They won't offer help to us in prosecuting this scumbag - fine by me, we don't need Frog help to do anything (in fact, we're usually better off without their help, Yorktowne being the only exception that comes to mind). However, the surrender monkeys should not expect any of my hard currency to help out their socialist economy for a long time, at least until they invade Germany successfully.

My folks visited France about 20 years ago. I'll never forget my father's comment: "Well, we liked France a lot, except for all the Frenchmen."

And what have the French done in return? They adopted Jerry Lewis as their favorite American. Hardly a fair trade.

Well, maybe. I'll have to think on that one. If they take both Clintons, I'll take back everything I said (well, not really, but its worth a shot, no?).

10 posted on 03/29/2002 11:35:14 AM PST by Ancesthntr
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Ancesthntr
Paris, 2002

France has also indicated that because the US is seeking the death penalty they might fail to cooperate in sharing evidence, of which they have plenty.

Washington, the next time France is occupied

The United States has also indicated that because France failed to cooperate in the criminal prosecution of Zacarias Moussaoui, it has decided not to cooperate in sharing troops to liberate their nation, of which they have plenty.

11 posted on 03/29/2002 11:42:07 AM PST by Ancesthntr
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 10 | View Replies]

To: Sir Gawain
I was stationed in Europe for three years as well as other foreigh countries while in the service. France, as compared to the rest, has to be the arpit of the world. Their "revolution" was about the same time as ours and look how far they've "regressed". Good piece but I disagree on the death penalty.
12 posted on 03/29/2002 11:48:17 AM PST by caisson71
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: TADSLOS
Yes, and they have their bones on display at Verdun to prove it. Incredible carnage and many acts of courage. Too bad their current generations fail to see the connection to today's fight with their own ancestors' struggles.

Perhaps it is natural selection - The bravest were all killed, leaving the wussies to propagate their clearly defective genes.

13 posted on 03/29/2002 11:50:39 AM PST by LouD
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 7 | View Replies]

To: Sir Gawain
Back when we were kids, if my grandmother caught you telling a lie, she'd say you were, "False as a Frenchman."
It's amazing how that still applies today.
14 posted on 03/29/2002 11:54:08 AM PST by Chi-townChief
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

Comment #15 Removed by Moderator

To: Sir Gawain
Spent 3yr. in France (Metz) 57-60, USAF. 1283AACS. WOW!
16 posted on 03/29/2002 11:58:12 AM PST by Waco
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: pt17
Used to? remember? Thats changed? (yes, Im serious)
17 posted on 03/29/2002 12:05:22 PM PST by gnarledmaw
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 8 | View Replies]

To: Sir Gawain
I'm in France a lot....Never ran into anyone who stank. It's a myth.
18 posted on 03/29/2002 12:09:01 PM PST by The Raven
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: gnarledmaw

19 posted on 03/29/2002 12:17:59 PM PST by pt17
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 17 | View Replies]

To: The Raven
I'm in France a lot....Never ran into anyone who stank. It's a myth.

My dear sir, may I suggest that you consult an otolaryngologist? Clearly you are nose-deaf, olfaction-impaired, or smelling-challenged (take your pick of terminology). In any case, yours is clearly a minority view.

20 posted on 03/29/2002 12:21:26 PM PST by Capriole
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 18 | View Replies]

To: The Raven
Correct, having been there myself, I never found any odor/hygiene problems with the French, contrary to popular belief. From my experience, it's the Spainiards who need to learn to bathe now and then. Nor were the French anti-American, as I had heard, but don't like being dictated to by the U.S. They treated us as we treated them, but many American (and German) tourists are loud and obnoxious, and think they are in Disneyland, not someone else's country. Then they wonder why the Europeans dont "like Americans".
21 posted on 03/29/2002 1:28:40 PM PST by houston1
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 18 | View Replies]

To: pt17
One of the best comedy series I ever saw on
television was on the CBC, a French (?) show
about a town called Clochemerle.

(Vaux en Beaujolais)

"Gabriel Chevallier's delightful novel Clochemerle satirizes the titanic
confrontation of secular and religious forces in a small wine-growing
village in Beaujolais. The eruption begins when the socialist mayor
decides that he wants to leave behind a monument to his
administration's achievements. He takes as his model the ancient
Romans, who were famous for two things--hygiene and noble edifices.
Thus, he decides to unite the two concepts . . . by constructing a public
urinal in the center of town. There is one problem, however. The
chosen locale is next to the village church, and this outrages the ecclesiastical party."
  .

22 posted on 03/29/2002 1:34:38 PM PST by gcruse
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 8 | View Replies]

To: gcruse
the erection of a new "pissoir"

LOL. Thanks for info.
23 posted on 03/29/2002 1:40:39 PM PST by pt17
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 22 | View Replies]

To: Capriole
My dear sir, may I suggest that you consult an otolaryngologist? Clearly you are nose-deaf, olfaction-impaired, or smelling-challenged (take your pick of terminology). In any case, yours is clearly a minority view.

LOL. After prolonged periods of olfactoring the odoriferous, you tend to not notice it. I learned this living in a small town in Germany, where "die Bauernvolk" kept a pile of "der Misthaufen" under the front bedroom window. After a month or two, you tend not to notice everything smells like sh*t.
24 posted on 03/29/2002 1:52:46 PM PST by pt17
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 20 | View Replies]

To: The Raven
Hey, why do you think that France makes all of the best perfumes? Hint: it isn't because they take regular showers or baths with soap.
25 posted on 03/29/2002 2:12:10 PM PST by Ancesthntr
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 18 | View Replies]

To: Sir Gawain
But the only women in America who do not shave their armpits are those who want to be men and those who want to act French. The French stink. Why should we take seriously the opinions of people who have such little regard for personal hygiene?

LOL!

26 posted on 03/29/2002 2:58:22 PM PST by Victoria Delsoul
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: Victoria Delsoul
Homer Simpson: The French don't even have a word for "Victory."
27 posted on 03/29/2002 3:02:17 PM PST by TheExploited
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 26 | View Replies]

To: TheExploited
"The national bird of France is a Rooster. How appropriate that the national symbol of French pride is a cock."

LOL!!!

28 posted on 03/29/2002 3:04:53 PM PST by Victoria Delsoul
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 27 | View Replies]

To: houston1
Yes the German tourists of WWII were especially rude.
29 posted on 03/29/2002 3:09:08 PM PST by driftless
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 21 | View Replies]

To: Capriole
HEE HEE ..That's funny
30 posted on 03/29/2002 3:39:11 PM PST by The Raven
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 20 | View Replies]

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson