Valuable Heroism: Trademark Ad Absurdium

Reason ^ | May 2002 | Charles Paul Freund

[BluesDuke]

Can you trademark a common phrase such as let's roll? The Todd M. Beamer Foundation has been attempting to do just that, so as to prevent anyone from exploiting the words commercially without its approval.

Beamer was aboard United Airlines Flight 93, which crashed in Pennsylvania on September 11 following an attempt by passengers to wrest control of the flight from hijackers. He had been on the phone with an air phone operator who heard him say, "Let's roll!" as he and others prepared to act. The Beamer family later publicised the passengers' courageous behaviour, and Beamer's words soon became a catch phrase symbolising the nation's resolve. Rocker Neil Young even released a commemorative song titled "Let's Roll."

On September 26 the Todd M. Beamer Foundation sought trademark protection from the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office. Doug MacMillan, the foundation's executive director, told the Associated Press that any money from the commercial use of the words should benefit the families of those killed in the attacks. The foundation, he said, would market T-shirts and hats featuring the words and donate the profits to victims' families.

"We think it's horrible for people to want to profit off the events of Sept. 11," MacMillan told the AP. "If there's anybody who should be benefiting, it should be the victims."

By the time the foundation acted, however, people were already marketing products featuring Beamer's words. Indeed, some of them had already sought trademark protection for themselves. At least two people filed trademark applications days before the foundation and were defending their own right to exploit the phrase. A contractor in Grosse Point, Michigan, told the press, "I don't care what your name is, it's first in, first swim." He added, "It's all about good old American capitalism."

The issue of trademarking common words and phrases has surfaced repeatedly as marketers have sought to protect expensive investments. One game company has actually trademarked the word Nazi. In perhaps the most notorious such case, Pepsi-Cola in the early 1990s sought a trademark for the expression Uh-huh!, which the company was using in a Ray Charles campaign hawking Diet Pepsi. Unlike many such cases, however, the let's roll issue may actually be resolved in court.

[BluesDuke]

Now, I wonder: The preferred command of the Green Hornet, in the very short lived television series of the same name, when he wanted trusty Kung Fu fighting chauffeur Kato to shove off in their snappy-looking Black Beauty automobile, just so happened to have been "Let's roll!" Should, say, GoodTV or TVLand see fit to show the old episodes of The Green Hornet (it ran for the 1966-67 season on ABC), does this mean that either network, or even the original makers of the show, not to mention the family of actor Van Williams (who played the newspaper publisher whose secret nightlife was as the title crimefighter), would have to get clearance before any episode in which the Green Hornet purred, "Let's roll!" could be shown?

[altair]

Cool. Can we trademark the term "tax increase" and charge the DemocRATs a billion dollars every time they use it?

[xm177e2]

The Green Hornet should sue Todd Beamer's estate. </kidding>

[BluesDuke]

Can we trademark the term "tax increase" and charge the DemocRATs a billion dollars every time they use it?

I have a better idea. How about we trademark the word "taxes" and, instead of the piddlyassed pocket change cuts we got from Mr. Bush (not that one should complain when one gets any of one's own money back from Uncle Siphon, you understand!), every time someone says "tax cut" we refund three billion dollars to the American people and an equal amount of money is lopped out of the federal budget! It may yet be the only way left to us to begin cutting and dissolving the almighty State and restoring to us properly construed government...not to mention putting the Republican'ts and the Damnocrats in their places...

[laconic]

They'll have to go after the hippies putting pot into cigarette papers, screaming "Let's roll" as they create their joints. Seriously, its an old phrase and I doubt its any more trademarkable than Churchill's "V for Victory" was in World War II.

[BluesDuke]

er, that should have read, "...everytime someone says 'taxes'..." My bad!

[Revolting cat!]

My bad!

Hey, watch it there! That phrase has been trademarked too! I'm calling my attorneys...

[BluesDuke]

They'll have to go after the hippies putting pot into cigarette papers, screaming "Let's roll" as they create their joints.

I don't know if they actually say that when they roll the joints, but I'm reminded that the original title of the B-side of Pink Floyd's first-ever single was "Let's Roll Another One". They were, shall we say, persuaded to change the title (and the lyric, where appropriate) to "Candy And A Currant Bun" - the B-side of the magnificent "Arnold Layne".

[BluesDuke]

My solicitor is on call preparing your subpoena. You didn't know that I have trademarked, "I'm calling my attorneys," did you? *snicker*

[Revolting cat!]

Rip this joint, gonna rip yours too,
Some brand new steps and some weight to lose.
Gonna roll this joint, gonna get down low,
Round and round and round we'll go.

Wham, Bham, Birmingham, Alabam' don't give a damn.
Little Rock and I'm fit to top.
Ah, let it rock

(Well, not exactly LET'S ROLL, but close enough. Although, on the record he sings something else that rhymes with Little Rock, not fit to top.)

[altair]

#include <limits.h>
main()
{
  int i;

  for (i = 0; i < INT_MAX; i++) printf("Tax cut!\n");
}

[laconic]

Don't you remember Jim Morrison of The Doors screaming: "Let's Roll, Baby Roll, Let's Roll, Baby Roll, All Night Long". Anyone know the song title? Is it LA Woman? If so, it was written in the Sixties, probably before Mr. Beamer was born.

[facedown]

Keep your hands on the wheel, your eyes upon the road.

Roadhouse Blues

[BluesDuke]

You're thinking of "Roadhouse Blues," from Morrison Hotel/Hard Rock Cafe, the Doors' mid-1970 album. The verse you're thinking of actually went like this:

Well, I woke up this mornin'
and I got myself a beer.
Well, I woke up this mornin'
and I got myself a beer.
The future's uncertain
but the end is always clear.
Let it roll, baby, roll.
Let it roll, baby, roll.
Let it roll, baby, roll.
Let it roll all night long.

[BluesDuke]

One correction: Morrison Hotel appeared in the fall of 1969. My mistake. "Roadhouse Blues," in fact, was the flip side of the single "You Make Me Real," the only single I've known to have been released off that album.

[BluesDuke]

You're thinking of the first verse, thusly:

Keep your eyes on the road
your hands upon the wheel.
Keep your eyes on the road
your hands upon the wheel.
Yeah, we're goin' to the roadhouse
we're gonna have a real
good time.