Girl bullies don't leave black eyes, just agony

Pittsburgh Post-Gazette ^ | April 10, 2002 | Jane Elizabeth

[buzzyboop]

ERIE -- To most adults, the typical school bully is the beefy kid who knocks the books out of the hands of the bespectacled ninth-grader in the hallway, or the hulking football player who tosses the swim team member into the shower stall.

[Orual]

Probably no one is hearing more about the topic than the staff of the Ophelia Project in Erie.

Perfectly named - crazy and dead.

[FITZ]

I think there's some good points in this article --for one it advises parents to pay attention --and that is what can help more than anything. It's not suggesting they sue the school or make laws to end bullying. Also it's true about girls versus boys bullying. Girls aren't always sweet.

[PLK]

IMHO, the basic problem is parents who don't pay attention to what their daughters are doing. When I notice that someone seems to be left out, I call my daughter on it and we talk about how she would feel if someone did the same to her. Today's parents don't seem to understand that you have to get in your kids' faces and point out to them when their behavior is inappropriate or mean. My 2 daughters have been on both ends of this deal - middle school can be hell for girls. I remember it well.

[banjo joe]

Got news for these researchers... these RMGs don't target girls only; boys are targets as well (I refuse to say "victims"). But - boys don't hit girls, although a good punch to the throat would be satisfying and instructive.

[Koblenz]

The ultimate girl bullies ("Heathers")

[Snuffington]

Aside from the celebratory psycho-babble tone (Oh look, we just discovered girls can be bad too! Alert the Nobel committee!), this article makes some points which, though not new, seem to be ignored too often today.

The first is that the whole "self esteem" problem identified in girls by the feminists cannot be laid at the feet of oppressive men. Girls have more to do with each others self esteem than boys do. This is just common sense, but in the era of feminist ideologues it bears repeating.

The second is that there is a problem with the way our schools are structured. It lends itself far too easily to a "Lord of the Flies" society, in which children are socialized by other children, rather than by adults. Everytime I hear critics of homeschooling complain that homeschooled children miss out on the "socialization" that goes on in schools, I think about the sort of incidents described in this article.

[steve in DC]

bump for later

[RooRoobird14]

The bully girls almost always are the school sluts (yes, even in middle school).

My 14 year old daughter and her little group of friends know exactly what the bully girls are all about and ignore/avoid them with disdain. They know what these girls really are: sluts, hoochie mamas, and ultimately LOSERS.

Shame on parents who spoil their daughters, turning them into little monsters.

[dighton]

Ha ha, your Beta Ophelia shops at Kmart!

Alpha Ophelia.

[Diva Betsy Ross]

I was a sometimes victim of girl bullying while in governement schools. I think it is important for the parents to know it happens and watch out for their own daughters. I find it hard to believe that here in Erie, Pa. There is anyone who has enough sensitivity to handle this situation.

This town breeds small minded bullies, girls and boys. Most mothers I meet are proud of the fact the child is as much of a mean spirited, rude bully as they themselves are.

I sense a double standard, at least here in Erie. You can have a l of the programs you want in school, bottom line is children will copy parents behavior.

[CIBvet]

bump for later

[Orual]

There must be an omega here.

[Cable225]

Sorry, but it's hard to sympathize with this feminine non-sense.

I know it seems silly, but it's not really nonsense. Unless you see it up close and personal, you can't appreciate how vicious girls can be.

Boys have a recourse, they can at least get into a scrap and earn respect. What are girls supposed to do when a gang of her peers is only interested in intimidating her?

I know the subject makes you think "Good Lord, more touchy-feely goop", but it is really true.

[wimpycat]

Girl-bullies, on the other hand, "use backbiting, exclusion, rumors, name-calling and manipulation to inflict psychological pain on targeted victims," Simmons wrote.

Yep, that sounds exactly like some girls I grew up with.

[LiberteeBell]

This whole article is crap. I couldn't get past the first few paragraphs.

While I disagree with the psychobabble part of the article, I don't think the entire article is crap. Girls and women can be vicious, mean and cruel, and thier form of bullying is particularly ugly especially when a group of them gang up on one girl. And it isn't just middle school. My two daughters have experienced some of this in private elementary school, I've seen it and experienced some of it myself all through life. To me, a fate worse than death is to be forced to work in an office full of petty-busybody women.

We're all forced to deal with different types of people we meet in life. Kids should be no different.

Agree but it's up to PARENTS to be aware that these things do indeed go on and to help daughters learn coping skills.

[wimpycat]

I forgot to add that these girl bullies are often from dysfunctional homes (drug/alcohol/domestic abuse), or they're from homes where mama and daddy are too busy with their careers or social lives to pay much attention to their daughters, so these girls take out their aggressions and feelings of inferiority on weaker-looking girls. These girls have to humiliate/embarrass/ridicule/shun other girls to build themselves up and give them a feeling of power and control.

[SpookBrat]

I was TORTURED in school, especially in the 5th grade. I came home crying every single day from school. It was horrible. One of the "bullies" contacted me through classmates.com. I wasn't too happy about that, but oh well. We are now good friends after all these years of hating her freaking gutts. Come to find out she was sexually and physically abused in her home. I always knew something was wrong with her, to cause her to be so cold blooded.

[AppyPappy]

In my experience, parental demographics matter little these days. Half of the kids come from a single mother family. My experience is the girls are picked at random. There may be no rhyme or reason except that the victim is usually a quiet type with few friends.

My daughter's school is very big on this whole bullying thing and they spend a lot of time on it. They are good at busting up "clubs" although recess can be chaotic because the teachers spend their time gossiping while the kids run amok. Kids need structure and discipline. Otherwise, the resort to animalistic behavior. When I was a kid, we didn't have time to build clubs and cliques. We were too busy learning sports at recess.

[Hildy]

I agree with you. And Ameican girls are getting worse and worse. I'd much rather tangle with a teenage boy than a teenage girl.

[billybudd]

"Style consciousness" is a good thing because it means every individual chooses his outside form, how he wishes other people to see him, as long as you don't go overboard. As for uniforms being cheaper, that's irrelevant - you're arguing for mandating uniforms. If uniforms were really preferable, such as being cheaper, better looking, etc., then there would be no need for a mandate, and hence there would be no uniforms because each person would wear whatever he wants. Face it, the sole reason for uniforms is --surprise!-- to enforce uniformity. It is to stifle individual expression under some deluded hope that this will make kids more upright. Instead, it would turn them into robots.