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Girl bullies don't leave black eyes, just agony
Pittsburgh Post-Gazette ^ | April 10, 2002 | Jane Elizabeth

Posted on 04/10/2002 4:35:11 AM PDT by buzzyboop

Edited on 04/13/2004 2:34:37 AM PDT by Jim Robinson. [history]

ERIE -- To most adults, the typical school bully is the beefy kid who knocks the books out of the hands of the bespectacled ninth-grader in the hallway, or the hulking football player who tosses the swim team member into the shower stall.


(Excerpt) Read more at post-gazette.com ...


TOPICS: Culture/Society; US: Pennsylvania
KEYWORDS: girlbullies; schools
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To: jlogajan
Yes, I'm glad we are friends now. I think it helped put closure on that painful time in my life. I know this sounds stupid, but I'm not kidding here. It was traumatizing to me. I swear, it took me forever to get over it. I hated school soooooooooo much, until I graduated, and I think it had a lot to do with bullies. I'm sure it affected my grades.

Also, one thing I've noticed and sometimes I wonder if women ever out grow this... Boys can duke it out behind the school, and be best buddies again the next day out on the football field. Girls have a much longer memory and the bullying goes on for longer periods of time. With a boy, you just get a good quick pop in the face, and it's all over. But with a girl, it's a long and slow torture. LOL

61 posted on 04/10/2002 9:50:30 AM PDT by SpookBrat
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To: SpookBrat
"Boys can duke it out behind the school, and be best buddies again the next day out on the football field. With a boy, you just get a good quick pop in the face, and it's all over."

I have seen a little bit too much acceptance of this "pop in the face" that folks are assuming is Ok for boys. I find that just as appalling and just as weak a behavior as some of these behaviors ascribed to girls.

People need to be TAUGHT to be respectful of all other people. (emphasis on the PERIOD)

I only had one fight growing up (was challenged in the 4th grade for "stealing" another boys "girlfriend" - one bop over his head and it was done-I didn't want the confrontation at all). An environment free of violence should be expected for EVERYONE.

Maybe too many people establish their interpersonal ethics foundations at watered down, morally bankrupt American mainstream Protestant churches too busy avoiding any "judgements" to teach personal responsibility and genuine care for others. "Oh, who's to say what is wrong or right...." as a philosophy leaves a vacuum for on the spot individual answers to these questions that could be BEST answered by the most elemental of Christs teachings - DO UNTO OTHERS AS YOU WOULD HAVE THEM DO UNTO YOU. The bastardizations of this as taught by the majority of American churches leave room for the rampant abuse of others as described in this article. The issues surrounding these young girls dressing like streetwalkers and thugs could also find an answer if free from the mamsy pamsy G-d-lite as being taught by these congregations. It's really not surprising, is it? It's not to me...

62 posted on 04/10/2002 10:14:25 AM PDT by Will
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To: SpookBrat
With a boy, you just get a good quick pop in the face, and it's all over. But with a girl, it's a long and slow torture.

It is true that some quick fights are quickly forgotten. But it is not true that males are not subject to long term harrassment and feel the effects of it for decades later. It is not just a female thing, though I guess guys do tend to shrug it off. I guess we are more independent -- not needing peer acceptance so much. Of course everyone desires peer acceptance, but perhaps guys can deal better as the outcast than girls. A guy can even take a little pride in being an outcast. I mean, I got thrown out of school, and I was really proud of that!

So perhaps part of teaching young girls about defenses against bullies is teaching them that their self-worth is not defined by social acceptance.

63 posted on 04/10/2002 10:23:15 AM PDT by jlogajan
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To: Will
"I have seen a little bit too much acceptance of this "pop in the face" that folks are assuming is Ok for boys. I find that just as appalling and just as weak a behavior as some of these behaviors ascribed to girls.

No, no, no!!!! I absolutely do NOT find it acceptable for boys or girls to pop each other in the face. My children are taught to treat people and things with respect and they are taught the Golden Rule.

I was making a point from my own personal perspective and my memory of fights at school when I was a kid. Boys got over it quickly and girls didn't. Certainly you did not see me saying it's OK for a boy to hit another boy in my post. Sorry if it looked that way.

64 posted on 04/10/2002 10:26:55 AM PDT by SpookBrat
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To: A Ruckus of Dogs
Kids join boys scouts and cheerleaders voluntarily - but they're forced to go to school. Uniforms make sense for cheerleaders as they make sense for a football team, because you want to distinguish them from the opposite team. There's no need for a school to impose such distinctions on its students. Kids should wear whatever they want, as long as their parents let them. If their parents want them to wear cheaper uniforms, fine. But don't force them. If the parents want to spend extra money on good clothes, that's their right.
65 posted on 04/10/2002 11:05:07 AM PDT by billybudd
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To: CatoRenasci
Rule number 1 is to not get angry. Rule #2 is have a witness. Look the perpetrator in the eye, do not smile and simply say you will not tolerate their behavior. Go to the administration state the difficulty and tell them either to communicate this message to the perpetrator or you will press harassment charges. I had a situation at the YMCA, where some teenage girls were making fun of me. I got the fittness supervisor, and went over to talk to the girls. I firmly told them if they thought I was so funny to go out in the hallway and laugh to their hearts content. When they returned to the cardio room, I would not tolerate any more ridicule. Cruelty is unacceptable behavior and should not be tolerated.
66 posted on 04/10/2002 11:16:35 AM PDT by MaggieMay
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To: buzzyboop
"But in the world of adolescent girls, the school bully wears glitter fingernail polish....... She has the latest jewelry, jeans and shoes. She has her hair professionally done. She has tickets to sold-out rock concerts, a membership at a tanning salon and all the premium cable channels....... The girl-bully is skinny, pretty and seemingly perfect."

Sounds to me like this "Ophelia" group has some pretty interesting biases. Members claim to be able to walk into a classroom and identify the "girl bullies" right off the bat, based upon "identifying factors" such as these. The implication is that self-confidence, physical attractiveness, a flair for style and financially successful parents are all signs that you are a bad person who needs to be taken down a notch or two. I'm left wondering what this group's REAL agenda is.........

67 posted on 04/10/2002 11:54:54 AM PDT by freedox
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To: SpookBrat
OK, then I won't have to pop you...

; )

68 posted on 04/10/2002 12:06:26 PM PDT by Will
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To: Will
Meet me out back after school!!!


69 posted on 04/10/2002 12:10:51 PM PDT by SpookBrat
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