Posted on 04/10/2002 4:35:11 AM PDT by buzzyboop
Edited on 04/13/2004 2:34:37 AM PDT by Jim Robinson. [history]
Also, one thing I've noticed and sometimes I wonder if women ever out grow this... Boys can duke it out behind the school, and be best buddies again the next day out on the football field. Girls have a much longer memory and the bullying goes on for longer periods of time. With a boy, you just get a good quick pop in the face, and it's all over. But with a girl, it's a long and slow torture. LOL
I have seen a little bit too much acceptance of this "pop in the face" that folks are assuming is Ok for boys. I find that just as appalling and just as weak a behavior as some of these behaviors ascribed to girls.
People need to be TAUGHT to be respectful of all other people. (emphasis on the PERIOD)
I only had one fight growing up (was challenged in the 4th grade for "stealing" another boys "girlfriend" - one bop over his head and it was done-I didn't want the confrontation at all). An environment free of violence should be expected for EVERYONE.
Maybe too many people establish their interpersonal ethics foundations at watered down, morally bankrupt American mainstream Protestant churches too busy avoiding any "judgements" to teach personal responsibility and genuine care for others. "Oh, who's to say what is wrong or right...." as a philosophy leaves a vacuum for on the spot individual answers to these questions that could be BEST answered by the most elemental of Christs teachings - DO UNTO OTHERS AS YOU WOULD HAVE THEM DO UNTO YOU. The bastardizations of this as taught by the majority of American churches leave room for the rampant abuse of others as described in this article. The issues surrounding these young girls dressing like streetwalkers and thugs could also find an answer if free from the mamsy pamsy G-d-lite as being taught by these congregations. It's really not surprising, is it? It's not to me...
It is true that some quick fights are quickly forgotten. But it is not true that males are not subject to long term harrassment and feel the effects of it for decades later. It is not just a female thing, though I guess guys do tend to shrug it off. I guess we are more independent -- not needing peer acceptance so much. Of course everyone desires peer acceptance, but perhaps guys can deal better as the outcast than girls. A guy can even take a little pride in being an outcast. I mean, I got thrown out of school, and I was really proud of that!
So perhaps part of teaching young girls about defenses against bullies is teaching them that their self-worth is not defined by social acceptance.
No, no, no!!!! I absolutely do NOT find it acceptable for boys or girls to pop each other in the face. My children are taught to treat people and things with respect and they are taught the Golden Rule.
I was making a point from my own personal perspective and my memory of fights at school when I was a kid. Boys got over it quickly and girls didn't. Certainly you did not see me saying it's OK for a boy to hit another boy in my post. Sorry if it looked that way.
Sounds to me like this "Ophelia" group has some pretty interesting biases. Members claim to be able to walk into a classroom and identify the "girl bullies" right off the bat, based upon "identifying factors" such as these. The implication is that self-confidence, physical attractiveness, a flair for style and financially successful parents are all signs that you are a bad person who needs to be taken down a notch or two. I'm left wondering what this group's REAL agenda is.........
; )
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