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Grooves of Academe-As the school year turns
NRO ^ | May 13, 2002 | Dave Shiflett

Posted on 5/13/2002, 4:54:44 PM by gubamyster

May 13, 2002 12:20 p.m.

The school year's closing down — in our district they'll probably be collecting the books any day now and spend the remaining three or four weeks watching videos and discussing the homosexuality rate of penguins in captivity. What better time to admit to being a bit too hard on public education (whose sins are slight variations on those of private education, though at a much more reasonable price). Further reflection forces the bitter conclusion that much of the animus is based in jealousy.

For let us be honest: The more a middle-aged parent reads about schools and contemporary school policies, the more it seems that we missed the boat. Some of us cannot help but conclude that Bliss has descended to earth, at least for students. If we were still in high school, we might indeed be demanding year-round attendance and perhaps post-graduate work. They'd have to march us out of there in chains.

The reason, of course, is that many of us were slackers in our school days, and the modern school is a slacker's paradise.

Just the other day, for instance, the social analyst Heather McDonald pointed out that the ongoing battle over the Scholastic Aptitude Test is about to take a decidedly positive turn, at least for students who are numb of skull or otherwise just don't give a damn. While the tests have already been dumbed down, it appears they may soon slip another few notches, to the point where they can be aced by a moderately intelligent rutabaga.

According to Ms. McDonald, tests may shift their emphasis from measuring "thinking skills" back to measuring knowledge. This would return them to their original focus, which was changed because kids from private schools did better than their public-school counterparts.

Returning to an emphasis on learning might sound forbidding, at first. Yet the fact is, there's precious little learning to test. As is well known, there has been a grand emphasis on "thinking skills" instead of drilling names, places, and dates into young minds (the latter dismissed as "rote learning," as opposed to "no learning"). The result, critics observe, has been to create a nation of illiterates. Defenders counter that the amount of information doubles every year — or is it six days — so there's no point in trying to keep up. Instead, students are taught how to find information in libraries and on the computer.

Accordingly, the answer to all questions is: Internet. We can assume that should the SAT be retooled the test won't be rigorous and students will also get to use a computer. We slackers can only shake our heads. Under these circumstances we could have been contenders. Instead, we had to offer bribes to win a slot at community college.

The bliss doesn't end in the classroom. Many schools now distribute condoms, which in an earlier day would have been unthinkable. To be sure, few would have used them, but the distribution plan would have been seen as official sanction for letting the Hump Monster romp at will. Contemporary administrators assure us that kids are going to screw around anyway and this will make it safer, which may be true. It is also true that kids are going to smoke and drink, so perhaps the next step is to pass out low-tar cigarettes and 3.2 beer. I'm figuring it's just a matter of time, and if that happens I'm going back to school.

Meanwhile, investigative journalists also tell us that a certain act associated with a certain Washington intern has become quite common even at the middle-school level. This is another stunning turnaround. Young people will have a hard time believing this, but at one time males would spend fruitless hours begging for much less. Now, it appears, the pads are on the other knees. So it also goes with drugs. Back in the old days, one had to scour about for a dealer, and even then you were lucky not to get a load of rat poison posing as mescaline. Nowadays, a kid can twitch his eyes a few times and be rewarded with a prescription for some sort of mind-altering substance, whose rewards are increased when the pills are ground up and snorted, and perhaps topped off with a chaser of airplane glue.

It is true, of course, that not all the news is good. Contemporary students are forced to undergo the most humiliating and senseless attempts at brainwashing. They can be put in the lockup for things their parents did with little or no penalty, such as fist-fighting and keeping a loaded pea-shooter in their car. All told, however, it could be worse. And it will be. Once they leave school, they're going to have to pay for all those pleasures, and pleasure ain't getting any cheaper.

— Dave Shiflett is coauthor of Christianity on Trial.


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Editorial; News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: education; educationnews

1 posted on 5/13/2002, 4:54:45 PM by gubamyster
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To: *Education News
Check the Bump List folders for articles related to and descriptions of the above topic(s) or for other topics of interest.
2 posted on 5/13/2002, 7:28:33 PM by Free the USA
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