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The richest Republican by far is Lincoln Chafee of Rhode Island ($53.6), who is also by far the most liberal GOP Senator

I wrote this little story about an old friend named "Linc":

A RINO Speaks To His Son

Welcome back, son.

Dad, you are not angry at me?

Not at all. You were entitled to some years of privacy and peace, a chance to live a little out West.

You said this was important, so I am here.

You are here because we need to talk about your future, the family's future. I am getting old and not feeling very well these days, so the family responsibilities are going to fall on your shoulders. It is time so speak truthfully about what those responsibilities are.

Ooooo. Kay.

You have been fortunate to be born in a comfortable household. Any material thing you could want we have always provided. You have been to the best prep school and college in the area, and all of your needs have been taken care of for these many years. So where do your think the money comes from?

Your salary as a U.S. Senator?

No chance. That salary would barely keep us out of the poor house. Your grandfather worked hard to accumulate a small fortune for this family. More importantly he worked with others to assure that my family and your family, and, if you play your part, your children's family will well for the rest of their lives.

How did he manage this?

Well, you always said you were a conservative and you claimed to understand the free market. Now you have worked a bit in the real world. Have you learned how capitalism works in the real world?

What do you mean?

I mean, if you are a rich capitalist, do you understand what the odds are of keeping that wealth for generation after generation?

I confess I hadn't thought much about it. But I guess in a highly competitive worldwith great technological changes they aren't very good.

Exactly. If the game is fair We Lose. So your grandfather worked with others to Rig The Game to make sure we won. I continued that effort. You now have to decide if you are ready to join the team.

(to be continued while I rest my typing fingers :-) )

And if decide not to join then what?

You lose. Your family is struggling to make ends meet. Your kids struggle to go to college. You become a nobody, and our family name fades into distant memory.

So you are telling me that I can't just inherit Grandpa's money and go my own way?

Correct. It is your grandfather's wishes that only those who do their part to maintain the family fortune receive their benefits--once they are old enough make an informed choice. For you that decision time has come.

So what is the deal? What do I have to do to keep the good life?

You just have to do as you are told. Trustees were appointed by your grandfather to handle the family's financial affairs. They in turn appointed successors. You know who they are. They will tell you what to do and when to do it.

Well, what exactly are we talking about here?

We are talking about following in my footsteps as a liberal Republican Senator from our state.

I don't understand. We are wealthy. Why would I be a stupid liberal?

Son, I was explaining it to you earlier. We have to rig the game. Let me give some examples:

Environmental Policy--We own a lot of undeveloped land out West. If developers are permitted to build houses in areas adjacent to ours the value of our land may stay the same, decrease or increase. If the government prohibits development in these areas our land becomes extremely valuable.

Drugs--We own companies that produce a variety of drugs to combat AIDS and other diseases. These drugs are very expensive and can't be afforded by most people who need or think they need them. We need the government to subsidize health care at home and give foreign aid abroad to create a market for our drugs.

Antitrust--Leave our companies alone, and prosecute the competition.

Son, do you get the idea yet?

Then this liberal stuff is just a racket for people like us?

You got it. We are the con men. The public is the suckers.

But won't I get caught? In my youger days I was known as a conservative. I opposed all these government policies and many more.

We own the media, son. They write what we tell them to write. If any reporter is in your face we will ridicule them as crazy or extremist and if they are local we will get them fired. If necessary we can do a lot more than that.

RINO Has A Guest

Son, I invited an old school friend of yours to help fill you in on how it works on the inside.

(Old friend enters. Handshakes and hugs.)

Dad, ___ is a leading conservative. Everybody know that. I don't understand.

Welcome to the real world, son. There are some big plans for ___. He will soon increase his conservative credentials by saving the Party in a critical election. Then we hope that he will follow in his father and brother's footsteps.

His brother? But, you would help elect a conservative?

___ will move to the center when it counts. That will be when he gets his new nickname.

And that new nickname will be?

45.