Posted on 07/02/2002 1:32:04 PM PDT by rhema
Heigh ho, from Arizona, land of first-hand smoke and fire. From the eye of the storm, I offer, in stylishly Martha Stewart fashion, the good thing of an insider's view.
The national media were not prepared for Arizona's idiosyncrasies. Our wildfires have presented phonetics problems. For all you national reporters, it's Rodeo (ROW-dee-o) Fire. The Row-DAY-o Fire is in Beverly Hills. It's said "Eager," not "eee- GAR," despite the "Eagar" spelling.
Several national correspondents gagged while trying to eek out "Chediski Fire." While no one here knows how to say this one either, one thing is clear: ignore Polish-American tendencies to say Che- DIS-ski. Choose any of the following, gleaned from helicopter pilots, anchorettes and U.S. Forest Service spokespersons: SHED-ih-sky; Che-DESK-I, or CHED-ih-ski. Many reporters wondered aloud what Chediski means. Literally translated, Chediski, an Indian term, means "dumb broad who lights flare in tinderbox forest."
For 2 days running the New York Times felt compelled to explain how "Show Low" got its name. Did I ask about SoHo or Tribeca when I covered 9/11? The Times reporter seemed incredulous that a man could win a town in a poker game of low card stud. We still play this game, with sports franchises. They get stadiums and we taxpayers, with a streak of bad luck, draw the high tax card.
National reporters seemed comfortable with Heber, although a few used a short "e," producing a "Hebber" sort of sound. I provided translation for several correspondents on "Heber" which is "Excuse us, Forest Service and Governor Hull, but the fire is over here." Overgaard means, "What are we? Chopped liver?"
The Show Low vs. Heber/Overgaard fire focal points found reporters conflicted. They were all entrenched in Show Low with its motels while all the homes burned in the Heber/Overgaard area. However, the only thing in Heber is June's Dairi-Delight. June permits smoking in her combination fried food/ice cream stand. The national media can't stand second-hand smoke, which is why they have now left smoke-infested Show Low.
Many of the local TV reporters stood before the cameras, running 24/7 for the first time in their young lives, and stammered when anchors handed off to them, "I can't think of anything more to say." One reporterette , who realized Show Low had second-hand smoke, said, "You guys, I am like having a really hard time breathing."
The Red Cross was here in our time of need, busily replacing its computers with fire money raised just so far. And in the midst of the blazing inferno, our 9th Circuit Court of Appeals pushed us closer to brimstone by declaring the Pledge of Allegiance unconstitutional. "Ninth Circuit" is Indian for "black muumuu-covered liberal loons."
I had a wooden stake in these fires because our cabin is located in Forest Lakes, a name many believe comes from the fact that it is located in the forest between 2 lakes. Thus far our cabin has survived, something we have learned only from smoke signals because the media continue to await the fire's descent into Show Low.
Our longstanding ownership in Forest Lakes has provided a first-hand look at the rustic forest folks. They are environmentalists, but not latte environmentalists who litigate to preserve forests. Latte environmentalists can never have these residents' perspective because they prefer not to experience the challenges of living in areas where the roads are dirt, cable is non-existent and the wind kills the contact lenses. Latte environmentalists have a litigious admiration of the forest from afar. Our Forest Lakes neighbors have the weathered faces of those who dare the elements to conquer them.
These hardy souls will have nothing positive to say about the management of the forests, the fires, or the allocation of fire resources. They resent being subject to the whims of a judiciary inclined to follow the desires of environmentalists who dwell in cities with silly notions of idyllic forest primeval. These indigenous peoples know that forests are beasts to be tamed, not pets to be pampered. The management of forests by scientific opinion, litigation and bureaucracies is a formula that has brought us to this disaster and the forest peoples to their knees.
But the upside of this down draft is that their voices will finally be heard. The environmental groups, conspicuous by their absence and failure to provide aid in the Great Arizona Wildfires of 2002, have finally shown their true mettle, something the residents of these rustic towns have long known. The din of environmentalists will finally be banished from the forests. Peace at last. Those who know the forests will now have the authority to manage them. Even the elk breathe a sigh of relief despite the second-hand smoke risk.
No Loggers, No Forest
Any other ideas?
Spotted Owls. Best when burnt to a crisp.
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