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A man went to visit his 90 year old grandfather who
lived way out in the boondocks. After he'd spent the
night, his grandfather fixed him bacon and eggs for
breakfast. Noticing a heavy film on his plate and he
questioned, "Grandpa, are these plates clean?"

His grandfather replied, "Those plates are as clean
as cold water can get them, so go on and finish your
meal."

Later on that afternoon, while eating the hamburgers
his grandfather made for lunch, he noticed tiny specks
around the edge of his plate, and a substance that
looked like dried egg yokes. So he asked again,
"Grandpa, are you sure these plates are clean?

Without looking up from his hamburger, the grandfather
replied, "I told you before, those dishes are as clean
as
cold water can get them, now don't ask me about it
anymore!"

Later on that afternoon, and feeling a bit queasy, he
decided to go to a nearby town for dinner. As he was
leaving, his Grandfather's dog started to growl, and
wouldn't let him pass. He called out, "Grandpa, your
dog won't let me out."

Without diverting his attention from the baseball game
he was watching, Grandpa shouted back, "Coldwater, get
your flea bitten a$$ out of the way!"