Posted on 07/21/2002 3:45:41 AM PDT by Clive
FARMERS in a troubled central African country were dismayed to learn this week that their leaders went on bended knees to congratulate the most equal of all comrades on an electoral victory a few months ago.
Until now, the farming leaders had kept their congratulatory visit a secret.
Still, farmers who have endured years of terror and tyranny at the hands of the most equal of all comrades' deadly Talibob Brigades said they were shocked, horrified, appalled, disgusted, outraged and sickened by the move. (Thesauruses are much in use in the troubled central African nation as people run out of words to describe their government's despicable, grotesque, sinister and cynical abuse of power.)
One apoplectic farmer told Over The Top that farming leaders needed their heads read. How the hell can they have congratulated him? he fumed. It's like thanking him for destroying our businesses, murdering our fellow farmers and making our workers homeless.
Meanwhile, a prominent farmer and enthusiastic member of the More Drink Coming party said that he had heard that farmers in the troubled central African state were soon to rename their organisation the Confused Farmers Union in recognition of the fact that they seem not to have noticed who has been killing their members, burning their workers' houses down and raping women on the farms.
Either that or they are stoned, he said, in which case perhaps we should call them the Cannabis Farmers Union.
In a related development, a former political leader from the days when the troubled, central African country was just as troubled but not quite as broke, phoned and said that farming leaders were running around like headless chickens, indicating that perhaps their organisation should be called the Chicken Farmers Union.
Still, another farmer, now working for the minimum wage as a petrol pump attendant in Perth, Australia, pointed out in a reverse charges call that there was no point in renaming the farmers' organisation when there were no farmers left.
But farming leaders seemed surprised by the furore they had caused by admitting they had offered earnest congratulations to the most equal of all comrades. It seemed the right thing to do at the time, said one insider. After all, there was a chance it would have some indefinable beneficial effect at some stage in the future.
The move has also upset farmers' allies in untroubled European and North American countries where ministers have said farmers in the troubled central African country are on their own, blaming their inability to stand up and fight for themselves for the withdrawal of future support.
Meanwhile, a spokesman for the troubled central African country's opposition, which has fought a longer and harder battle than the farmers' organisation, said it was disgusted but not surprised by the move.
In a state of confused surprise, farming leaders asked what all the fuss was about, saying that it was all a matter of perspective and that they were doing their best under difficult conditions.
They said it seemed wise to offer congratulations to the most equal of all comrades at a time when the rest of the world, and most people in the troubled central African country, were roundly condemning him for staging a violent and rigged election.
They said that all the criticism of the most equal of all comrades must have left him feeling a bit lonely and isolated, which was something they could empathise with given that so many of their members were feeling lonely and isolated in dole queues around the world.
Mugabe, speaking at the end of a visit to communist-run Cuba, said the farmers should address their problems to Vice President Joseph Msika, who is in charge of the land acquisition program.
"The white farmers have channels they must follow. They are not superhuman beings," he said at a news conference.
"They are not satisfied with that level of authority because they think, by virtue of being British and being white, they are more divine than anyone else," he said.
"There is an authority which can address their problems. Why do they avoid it? Who are they after all?" he added.
Nearly 3,000 white farmers have been ordered to vacate their farms by Aug. 10 to make way for landless blacks.
The embattled farmers were ordered to stop all farming on June 24, and those found guilty of defying government orders face heavy fines or two years in prison.
The farmers appealed Monday for face-to-face dialogue with Mugabe, saying the government's decision to press on with its two-year land reform plan had severely hurt crop production.
Aid agencies say 6 million Zimbabweans need emergency food aid as a result of a drought and disruption of farming operations resulting from the government's land drive.
Zimbabwe was plunged into its worst crisis in two decades of independence in 2000 when pro-government militants, led by veterans of the 1970s liberation war, began invading farms.
Mugabe says his "fast-track" land resettlement program is aimed at correcting imbalances in land ownership created by British colonialism.
CUBA JOINS AIDS WAR IN AFRICA
Mugabe ended a four-day visit by thanking Cuban President Fidel Castro for his country's military assistance in fighting for independence wars in Africa and by welcoming Cuba's offer to help fight the AIDS pandemic sweeping the continent.
Cuban genetic engineers and biotechnology researchers are working on a vaccine against the sub-type C of the HIV virus prevalent in Africa, which they hope to have ready by 2007.
Cuba agreed to send another 71 doctors to Zimbabwe, including gynecologists, pediatricians, general surgeons, neurologists and pharmacists, Mugabe said. There are currently 117 Cuban doctors serving in the southern African nation.
Mugabe, 78, criticized wealthy nations for ignoring Africa's health crisis while praising the sacrifice economically weakened Cuba was making to help African nations.
Mugabe, who has ruled Zimbabwe since independence from Britain in 1980, also defended the validity of his re-election to a further six-year term in March.
Zimbabwe's opposition and many Western countries accused him of cheating and using violence and food as campaign weapons to win the presidential election.
Mugabe said African nations considered the vote to be free and fair, while Europe and the United States did not.
"To this day I don't know whether Bush won the election as president at all," he said, adding that the 2000 presidential race in the United States was decided by the U.S. Supreme Court.
"I did not have to go to court for the validation of the people's verdict," Mugabe said. "And yet Mr. Bush dares say he is holier than I." [End]
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