I have two possible solutions. First, since
Physicist says we can't deflect the asteroid, we'll just have to move the earth. If that's not feasable, then we should deploy Congressman Gerold Nadler to the point of impact, so he can act as a bumper.
Yes, Physicist says that we probably can't deflect it, but I wonder if anyone's entertained the possibility of destroying it outright. I figure that you're on the right track with Nadler, but we need a bigger bang. Therefore, if we shoot both Nadler and Ted Kennedy out of giant space cannons at the asteroid, aimed in such a way as to strike opposite sides of it, the asteroid will surely be crushed between them.
