Posted on 08/31/2002 1:48:27 PM PDT by John W
RALEIGH, N.C. (AP) - Dare she say it? Donna Nobles is fed up with being made to relive Sept. 11. The elementary school teacher's aide shared the fear Americans felt that day. She understands the need of families to memorialize loved ones who died.
But she thinks the continuing hand-wringing is radiating an air of weakness to our enemies. And she says it's time to stop.
"Enough is enough," Nobles, 47, says as she prowls the stands at Raleigh's Farmers Market. "We need to realize that life is for the living."
Nobles is far from alone in voicing frustration - even vehement resentment in some corners - at what many feel is an unhealthy fixation on things 9/11.
Perhaps some are jaded at seeing entrepreneurs make money on T-shirts, hats, anything with the FDNY logo. Maybe they're sick of digging deep to make donations, only to hear victim families say the money didn't reach them or that they didn't get enough.
Or it could be post-traumatic stress, the crush of pain and sorrow simply too much to bear.
Callous though some sentiments might sound, mental health experts say "9/11 fatigue" is as natural a response as the waves of patriotism and grief that swept the nation after terrorists struck the World Trade Center and the Pentagon.
"Americans have a hard time living with uncertainty," says psychologist Debra Condren, who has offices in New York and San Francisco. "We want closure. We want quick fixes. In this case, there is no resolution."
Closure is precisely what Brian Pilant craves. "Shut up about it!" the 28-year-old bagpiper from Tempe, Ariz., grumbles when asked about the attacks, plugging his ears with his fingers for emphasis.
When the attacks occurred, Pilant was as shaken as any other American and, like family and friends, was glued to the television.
"I thought it was the end of the world at first," he says.
Now, he says all the sorrow is getting counterproductive.
"I'm not sick of hearing about things that we didn't know that we know now," he says. "I'm sick of the whining and that 'What about the children?' sort of mentality.
"We need to drop it. Talking about things that we can do and take care of, OK. But stuff we can't do anything about - like the fact that it happened - we can't change that."
Others, though, say the continued reminders are necessary to avoid becoming complacent.
"Living in Columbus, Ohio, you feel safeguarded in a way and that's not good, because we're not," says Bridget Molloy, 39, who still takes time to read victim profiles when The New York Times publishes them.
"As Americans we have very short memories," Molloy says. "My concern is that people will slip back into a comfort zone. That's when we'll get caught again."
But some feel that we, as Americans, have a nasty habit of overdoing some things and, perhaps, not doing enough about others.
In Evansville, Ind., bank security guard Leslie Barnett notes what he sees as the unfairness of the attention and money given to the Sept. 11 victims and their families.
"What about people killed in (bombings in) Oklahoma or Africa?" says Barnett, 65. "Or what about the servicemen killed whose families just received military life insurance? Somewhere, you've got to draw the line."
Others are afraid to vent their frustrations. They worry how it will sound if they remind people that not all firefighters and cops are heroes, or say out loud that they're weary of widows' tearful interviews.
New Yorker Mark Prindle is one who says it pains him to say so - but he's tired of hearing about Sept. 11. He worked on the trade center's 104th floor six years ago, and went down to gaze at the smoking rubble after the attacks.
Now, he feels the barrage of news stories and remembrances is making it impossible for the victims' families to overcome their grief. And in the end, Prindle says, all the attention cheapens the very event it is intended to memorialize.
"Some people here were worried that they might make a national holiday of it," the 29-year-old public relations specialist says. "It'll just be like Memorial Day, where it's like, 'All right. A long weekend. 9-1-1. Let's go to the beach.'"
Sam Sears, an associate professor at the University of Florida Health Science Center and a licensed clinical psychologist, says some people might be feeling what is known as "compassion fatigue." It is hard to hold a lot of compassion and empathy for long periods, and events such as the terrorist attacks - which fill people with sorrow and fears for their own safety - stretch the capacity to sympathize with others.
"Being empathetic to somebody else takes a lot of work. And, honestly, this is such an event that has evoked such empathy and such compassion that is very difficult for people to feel comfortable," Sears says.
While people are often empathetic, the human brain also has developed the ability to compartmentalize or even shut things out before they can cause irreparable emotional and even physical damage, says neuroscientist Craig Kinsley.
"As humans, we possess the capacity to engage in a form of intellectual cud-chewing, like a thoughtful deer, mulling and re-mulling events in our minds to the point where we are able to accept their existence, no matter how awful," says Kinsley, a professor at the University of Richmond in Virginia. "Little reminders of 9/11 act like puffs of gasoline on a dying fire, but soon the fuel burns out."
Not soon enough for Nobles.
She and her husband, Earl, passed through New York recently on their way back to Raleigh from Maine. They made it a point not to visit ground zero.
"I'm ready to just not even worry about it any more," says Earl Nobles, 47, a construction project manager who was flying to Philadelphia as the first plane struck the trade center. "Just distribute the money and let's get on with our lives - and be done with it."
Shannon Allen, offering peach slices to passers-by at the Farmers Market, says he is dreading the attacks anniversary.
He had worked in New York for several years, and his daily train commute ended in a station beneath the twin towers. At first, he couldn't get enough news of the attacks, watching on TV while a friend on the phone from New York described the scene from her roof.
But soon, all the Sept. 11 funds, the tribute songs, the celebrities shedding tears and asking for donations just became too much.
"You could almost choke on it," he says.
Allen wishes the anniversary could be observed respectfully, and, most of all, in silence.
"We're aware of what happened. We know it's the anniversary. What more is there to say?" he says.
The television networks have been struggling mightily to strike the right balance in their coverage. Kinsley says each of us must seek that same middle ground.
"We, as humans, have a need to memorialize, in the sense of memory and recognition, and the human spirit is a constant source of amazement," he says. "But evolution did not prepare us to be paralyzed in the face of such losses that occurred on 9/11. Those who suffered and are suffering still must, at some point, tear their eyes away from the past and look ahead.
"That's where life is."
---
EDITOR'S NOTE: Allen G. Breed is the AP's Southeast regional writer, based in Raleigh. AP writers Pauline Arrillaga, Kimberly Hefling and Liz Sidoti contributed to this story.
The big question: Will we be hearing or seeing any evocation of the words "Muslim" or "Islam" in the same breath as "terrorist" on 9/11/02 from the media?
On September 11, nineteen ARAB-MUSLIMS hijacked four jetliners in my country. They cut the throats of women in front of children and brutally stabbed to death others. They took control of those planes and crashed them into buildings killing thousands of proud fathers, loving sons, wise grandparents, elegant daughters, best friends, favorite coaches, fearless public servants, and children's mothers. So I notice you now. I don't want to be worried. I don't want to be consumed by the same rage and hate and prejudice that has destroyed the soul of these terrorists. But I need your help. As a rational American, trying to protect my country and family in an irrational and unsafe world, I must know how to tell the difference between you, and the Arab/Muslim terrorist. How do I differentiate between the true Arab-Muslim-Americans and the Arab-Muslims in our communities who are attending our schools, enjoying our parks, and living in OUR communities under the protection of OUR constitution, while they plot the next attack that will slaughter those very same good neighbors and children? The events of September 11th changed the answer. It is not my responsibility to determine which of you embraces our great country, with ALL of it's religions, with ALL of it's different citizens, with all of it's faults. It is time for every Arab-Muslim in this country to determine it for me. I want to know, I demand to know, and I have a right to know whether or not you love America. Do you pledge allegiance to it's flag? Do you proudly display in front of your house, or on your car? Do you pray in your many daily prayers that Allah will bless this nation, that He will protect and prosper it?
Or do you pray that Allah with destroy it in one of your "Jihads"? Are you thankful for the freedom that only this nation affords? A freedom that was paid for by the blood of hundreds of thousands of patriots who gave their lives for this country? Are you willing to preserve this freedom by paying the ultimate sacrifice? Do you love America? If this is your commitment, then I need YOU to start letting ME know about it. Your Muslim leaders in this nation should be flooding the media at this time with hard facts on your faith, and what hard actions you are taking as a community and as a religion to protect the United States of America.
Please, no more benign overtures of regret for the death of the innocent because I worry about who you regard as innocent. And no more benign overtures of condemnation for the unprovoked attacks because I worry about what is unprovoked to you. I am not interested in any more sympathy ...I am only interested in action. What will you do for America-our great country-at this time of crisis, at this time of war? I want to see Arab-Muslims waving the AMERICAN flag in the streets. I want to hear you chanting "Allah Bless America". I want to see young Arab-Muslim men enlisting in the military. I want to see a commitment of money, time, and emotion to the victims of this butchering and to this nation as a whole.
The FBI has a list of over 400 people they want to talk to regarding the WTC attack. Many of these people live and socialize in Muslim communities. You know them. You know where they are. Hand them over to us, now! But I have seen little even approaching this sort of action. Instead I have seen an already closed and secretive community close even tighter. You have disappeared from the streets. You have posted armed security guards at your facilities. You have threatened lawsuits. You have screamed for protection from reprisals. The very few Arab-Muslim representatives that HAVE appeared in the media were defensive and equivocating. They seemed more concerned with making sure that the United States prove who was responsible before taking action. They seemed more concerned with protecting their fellow Muslims from violence directed towards them in the United States and abroad than they did with supporting our country and denouncing "leaders" like Khadafi, Hussein, Farrakhan, and Arafat. If the true teachings of Islam proclaim tolerance and peace and love for all people then I want chapter and verse from the Koran and statements from popular Muslim leaders to back it up. What good is it if the teachings in the Koran are good and pure and true when your "leaders" are teaching fanatical interpretations, terrorism, and intolerance. It matters little how good Islam SHOULD BE if large numbers of the world's Muslims interpret the teachings of Mohammed incorrectly and adhere to a degenerative form of the religion. A form that has been demonstrated to us over and over again. A form whose structure is built upon a foundation of violence, death, and suicide. A form whose members are recruited from the prisons around the world. A form whose members defended Johnny Cochran and O. J. Simpson after the latter butchered his wife and murdered an innocent friend. A form whose members (some as young a five years old) are seen day after day, week in and week out, year after year, marching in the streets around the world, burning effigies of our presidents, burning the American flag, shooting weapons into the air. A form whose members convert from a peaceful religion, only to take up arms against the great United States of America, the country of their birth. A form whose rules are so twisted, that their traveling members refuse to show their faces at airport security checkpoints, in the name of Islam.
Do you and your fellow Muslims hate us because our women proudly show their faces in public rather than cover up like a shameful whore? Do you and your fellow Muslims hate us because we drink wine with dinner, or celebrate Christmas? Do you and you fellow Muslims hate us because we have befriended Israel, the ONLY civilized democratic nation in the entire middle-east? And if you and your fellow Muslims hate us, then why in the world are you even here? Are you here to take our money? Are you here to undermine our peace and stability? Are you here to destroy us? If so, I want you to leave. I want you to go back to your desert sandpit where women are treated like rats and dogs. I want you to take your religion, your friends, and your family back to your Islamic extremists, and STAY THERE! We will NEVER give in to your influence, your retarded mentality, your twisted, violent, intolerant religion. We will NEVER allow the attacks of September 11, or any others for that matter, to take away that which is so precious to us: Our rights under the greatest constitution in the world. I want to know where every Arab-Muslim in this country stands and I think it is my right and the right of every true citizen of this country to demand it. A right paid for by the blood of thousands of my brothers and sisters who died protecting the very constitution that is protecting you and your family. I am pleading with you to let me know. I want you here as my brother, my neighbor, my friend, as a fellow American. But there can be no gray areas or ambivalence regarding your allegiance and it is up to YOU, to show ME, where YOU stand." "Until then ... you worry me." ""
This sums up why Islamic terrorists will probably eventually win their jihad against the United States. "Who can take this stuff seriously for more than a few days? We don't have time to fight wars or deal with the murderous bastards of the world. We are busy talking on our cell phones while driving around in our SUV's. I have appointments and a full plate. As long as someone doesn't nuke my suburban, gated community, I really don't care," says the average American.
The political leaders of our country are OK with this, too, as they don't want us to think about an open-ended war against suicidal maniacs they are now fighting until further notice.
Hmmm. Sheep chew the cud too don't they? Or don't they?
One thing I agree with, it is hard to maintain the level of grief and sympathy. Hate, on the other hand...
This enemy is not destroyed yet. We have suffered an attack of almost unimaginable brutality and not even a year later we're perfectly content to get back to our BBQs and gossip totally ignoring the fact that the ones that did this are still out there plotting to do it again and again and again until we're all dead? I would say "a nerve gas attack will make us see it different" but after reading this I don't think so. In five years we'll see such TV news items as:
"Well, it's been 48 hours since the latest nuclear attack on America and Americans are saying 'enough with all this crying' let's get on with life. What we're seeing here on the street Peter (Jennings) is people just want things to get back to normal as quickly as possible..."
This is going to be a looong haul this war. The way we're looking now, we won't even be able to hold out for a WWII type duration.
There are some cold selfish people in our country but this guy may win the prize. I'm glad they printed his name so that those who know him see what he is.
If we are attacked again I hope guys like this are front and center along with the leftwing, liberal media.
I guess you would call me selfish too. It's been almost a year. I'm focusing on the future at thinking about how the US can get these a$$holes so they won't kill any more of us. We have to focus on every day activities and the battle which lies ahead of us. I'm just finished grieving. Life goes on.
That's fine for some people.
As for me and mine...
NEVER FORGET!
Don't you just love how the media use the word "some" when they want to fabricate a story but don't have the numbers to prove it?
How many is some? Two? Ten? A hundred?
When you have that small an amount out of 280 million, why is this a story? Usually, the media uses the word "some" when they are referring to talk amongst themselves.
-PJ
You need to get with the program. The next time you post something like this, make sure those who say they're tired of being reminded appear far more idiotic, selfish, or anti-American.
Thanks.
Tuor
[/sarcasm]
We are told we are now at war - a LONG war.
How do we keep the country focused on a long war without constant reminders of the barbaric attacks that prompted our retaliation?
"Let's move on" is the common cry today. I believe that approach will undermine a public commitment to going after the SOB's who are behind this terrorism.
I want people to remember for the anger, not tears.
Mm hmm. I'm getting a fix on what kind of people are tired of hearing about it. Well, I'm not tired of talking about it, possibly because I don't have a negative view of America and Americans.
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