[genefromjersey]

Alas ! That is all we have time for today. The Muzzein-(may his voice be ever resonant !)-is about to summon the Faithful for Prayer.

Should you have problems you wish to discuss, we shall consult the ( Belovedly Remembered ) Mullah's Notes for appropriate Sharias.

[BeAllYouCanBe]

Mullah,

This is me al-Achmed the trusted servant of Allah not the Infidel BeAllYouCanBe.(I must use the infidel’s evil computer to write you.)

PROBLEM: I currently have 13 wives and I was thinking about taking on 1 or 2 more and since I want "true diversity" I was thinking of adding an American or perhaps a Canadian to the harem. What is your suggestion? American or Canadian or one of each? In America can I try on before I buy one like in my country – I’m unfamiliar with the law there.

[IronJack]

Dear Holy Mullah:

I am attracted to another female to the point of distraction. Just last night, I heard her outside my tent and I nearly detonated my bomb project prematurely. I am a wreck these days. I cannot concentrate on murdering innocent children, my mind strays from my work. I haven't stoned an infidel in weeks, and even my wives are starting to get suspicious, since I don't beat them nearly as often as I used to.

If my sweetie's owner finds out, I am ruined. He's already made plans to breed her.

Should I give up this fantasy and find a human female?

Signed, Abdullah, the Lonely Bedouin

[Billthedrill]

Dear mullah,

I am saddened by the reaction of the American people who live near my mosque. These foul disbelievers, this stinking swinelike infidels who, Allah grant it, will be crawling in the dust and begging for forgiveness from the almighty warriors of Islam as they trample the effete, zionist-loving worms into the dust of time...for some reason they don't seem to like us. What to do?

your friend,
Bill bin Drill

[Libertina]

Dear Mullah (Beloved of Allah)
I am writing to you about my revered husband Ashmed-al-Kaboom-al-hari-al-dente
(although I am only a lowly, humble woman and gravel at your feet for mercy that I dare to speak unbidden)
now where was I? Oh yes, You see Allah-Blessed Mullah (before whom I protate myself,)
although my husband when at home commands me to wear my Burqa
covering my eyes and all parts of my b--y (unclean, lowly, undeserving, womanly form)
he often looks at pictures of foreign women who dress like the Big Satan. I know I have no right (begging forgiveness in your sight for one who is not worthy to be seen in public)
but should I be concerned?

Forgive me for speaking oh Holy Mullah, for I am unworthy-

Veiled Woman

[weegee]

Dear Mullah,

I have discovered that I am exhibiting Christian tendencies. I am thinking about 'coming out' to my parents this ramadahn. Is this a good idea?

I don't know if this helps but they will be celebrating ramadahn at the Ramadainn.

[weegee]

if one releases gas then why does wudu have to be repeated?

[DainBramage]

Oh Wise Undeoderized One,

The infidel women at the strip bar I frequent

have begun to laugh at me when I demand that they dance

the dance of harlots on my table for free.

Is it okay to pay these filthy naked ladies of the night

for something I already deserve?

Neeba Wash Hemselv

[weegee]

Dear Mullah,

You have already won 20 million dollars
if your name has been pre-selected
in the Publisher's Clearinghouse Sweepstakes!!!

[ward_of_the_state]

Dear Mullah,

My (our) husband is tired of Hummus and Falafel night after night! The thirteen of us have put our heads - er - veils together and cannot find new and enticing dishes for chick peas! Can you help me (us)? Our beloved Master will have me (us) stoned to death if I (we) do not come up with something new!

Signed,

Fatima Abdul al-Azziz al-Sheik Fazwad (Wife #5)

[weegee]

Mullah-Sam,
Do you like
green eggs and ham?

Would you eat them
in a box?
Would you eat them
with some lox?

Would you? Could you?
In a car?
Eat them! Eat them!
Here they are.

You may like them.
See what your missin'.
You could share them
with a Christian!

[MadIvan]

Dear Mullah Achmed:

Not satisfied with his own 13 wives and assorted concubines, plus the camels in the back garden, I caught my neighbour being most wanton with my pet goat Shakira.

So my question to you, almighty and most noble purveyor of Allah's wisdom, is what body parts should I smite from him, or should I just steal his concubine collection and move to Jersey City?

Regards,

Faisal ibn Saud Al Hejaz Goldsmith

[aShepard]

Oh most wise one, praise be to him, I am but a lowly servant and truly unwise in the ways of life and happiness, Praise be to Allah.

Master, and most wise Mullah, my predicament is but the following. I have been invited to my neighbors cave to witness the September 11 ceremonies on that most evil of Jewish inventions, the big screen television.

I am pondering, and I am most certain of your proper direction, may I bring my ceremonial bongo drums to witness the destruction of the infidel's twin towers?

[paulklenk]

ACHMED SEZ
WASH YOUR FEZ
WIPE YOUR BUTT AND
EAT YOUR PEZ

PLASTIC PIE, PLASTIC PIE
SHOT A SPASTIC IN THE EYE
ALLAH HEAL'D THAT SPASTIC'S EYE!
HAIL TO ALLAH, PLASTIC PIE