[BeAllYouCanBe]

"Who did not see her holding hands
With Pedarastic Jacko ?"

Dearest and wisest Mullah,

I am as a flea on a camels hind parts jumping and crawling aimlessly compared to your all insightful advice. How ever did I survive without the wisdom you prescribe?

I didn’t know the most beautiful virgin Brittney cavorted with the white-devil Michael Jackson she is defiled. He is the most evil and deviate of the infidels!

I have given up on getting a new western wife – thanks be to him and the prophet. (BeAllYouCanBe frequently plays Shania Twain when I go to his house to use the computer and I find her also desirable but I will heed your sage advice to stay away from Americans and Canadians.)

I will just look for a good Muslim girl but where?????

The most humble servant – al-Achmed.

[genefromjersey]

Dear WannaBeAll :

The Prophet says : and here I quote :
" To keep your tent all cozy ,
A woman should be strongly built,
And look a bit like Rosie.

A bit of surplus fat's okay,
Or a moustache like a Ghurkha-
As long as it's securely wrapped
Inside a long black burqha."

"She should be strong enough to stand
Occasional "correction"-
Administered with camel whip
Should she fail white glove inspection."

[genefromjersey]

Dearly Beloved of Allah ( His name be praised, etc.,etc. ! ):

Now that you have learned what makes
A proper Muslim wife
It's time to place you on the path
To happy married life !

We have searched within the Archives
For Mullah's old Black Book
Which lists so many places
A "yearning " man may look !

Come visit New Brunswick
New Jersey in the Fall
In a place named DOUGLASS COLLEGE
Are the worthiest of all !!

The women here are sturdy
And athletically inclined ;
A Pro-Islamic Faculty
Has "prepped" each youthful mind.

Few are of the "working class"-
Rich parents are the norm ;
They'll think you look " exotic "
As you strut outside their dorm !

A bold and forceful courtship
Will see you quickly wed:
Just make her wear a burqha
When you're alone in bed !!!