It is ( Alas ! ) with great regret
I send this tale of woe:
A packet sent to Achmed's Mail
Dealt us a cru-el blow !
I still have here the wrapper
Addressed in cursive hand :
To: MULLAH ACHMED'S FOLLOWERS
From: The Female Taliban .
O, when I brought the packet in
They were happy as could be:
Singing: ONLY IN AMERIKA
And laughing: " Tee-hee-hee ! "
They greeted me as usual:
One of them did roar:
"Get thy filthy butt outside !"
And kicked me out the door.
As I stumbled cross the yard
There came a dreadful sound :
A hot and fearsome shockwave
That tossed me round and round !
When all the dust was settled
I stood there quite alone !
I must return your letters, stamped:
ADDRESSEE WHEREABOUTS UNKNOWN !