"I wish to make an announcement on behalf of Her Majesty's Government. Effective immediately, we are withdrawing our delegation from this summit.
"It is clear from the presentations we have heard that this summit is merely an excuse for 3rd world countries to blame their failures, namely to establish the rule of law and sensible economic policies, on countries which have. They are demanding that the taxpayers of my country and others prop up their failure with massive financial injections.
"As the dutiful and responsible representative of the British people, I have to say No in the strongest possible terms. While we are generous nation, we will not have that generosity abused by nations which seek only to squander the wealth which has been created by the industry and efforts of our citizenry.
"This conference is also a sham as it is dominated by regimes of the worst kind, in particular that of Robert Mugabe. This is a man of blood and violence, who tortures, starves and kills his countrymen without conscience, and yet we find he is feted here as if he were a hero, rather than justly treated as a pariah.
"I would urge the United Nations and by extension, Kofi Annan, to reconsider what its priorities are. The organisation is suffering from a reputation for waste, as this conference shows, a reputation for petulance, as the demands from the 3rd world delegates show, and a reputation for turning a blind eye to evil, as they have shown in their treatment of Zimbabwe. If a nation stands for civilisation, it cannot stand with the UN under these circumstances."
"Thank you and good-bye."
But Blair would never say it.
Regards, Ivan