Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette?
A: Artificial intelligence.
Q: Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
A: You can park in the handicap zone.
Q: Why is a blonde like a turtle?
A: They both get f*cked up when they're on their back.
Q: What do you call a blonde that can suck a golf ball through a garden hose?
A: Darling.
Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes light up?
A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.
Q: Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks?
A: It takes too long to retrain them.
Q: Why does the blonde stare at the juice packet in the morning?
A: It says "concentrate".
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a 747?
A: Not everybody has been in a 747.
Q: Why do blondes wear shoulder pads?
A: (With a rocking of the head from side to side) I dunno!
Q: How do you kill a blonde?
A: Put spikes in their shoulder pads.
Q: Why don't blondes eat Jello?
A: They can't figure out how to get two cups of water into those little packages.
Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earings?
A: They have to have some place to rest their ankles.
Q: Why do blondes wear green lipstick?
A: Because red means stop.
Q: Why do blondes wear red lipstick?
A: Because red means "Stop, wrong hole."
Q: Why do blondes wear underwear?
A: They make good ankle warmers.
Q: What's the mating call of the blonde?
A: "I'm *sooo* drunk!"
Q: What's the mating call of the brunette?
A: "All the blondes have gone home!"
Q: What's the mating call of the redhead?
A: "Next!"
Q: Why do Blondes like the GST? (Regional joke -- Goods and Services Tax now in effect in Canada)
A: Because they can spell it.
Q: Why do Blondes have TGIF on their shoes?
A: Toes go in first.
Q: Why do Blondes have TGIF on their shirts?
A: Tits (teats for all the purists) go in first.
Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive?
A: Her ankles.
Q: What do you say to a Blonde that won't give in?
A: "Have another beer."
Q: What do you call a brunette with a blonde on either side?
A: An interpreter.
Q: What's the first thing a blonde does in the morning? A1: Introduces herself. A2: Walks home.
Q: What's the first thing a blonde does after sex?
A: Opens the car door.
Q: What's the first thing a blonde says after having sex?
A: Oh, who were those guys?
Q: What does a blonde say when you blow in their ear?
A: "Thanks for the refill!"
Q: Why do blondes have more fun?
A: Because they don't know any better.
Q: How do you tell if a blonde's been using the computer?
A: There's Tipp-Ex on the screen.
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a computer?
A: You only have to punch information into a computer once.
Q: What do a blonde and your computer have in common?
A: You don't know how much either of them mean to you until they go down on you.
Q: How does a blonde part their hair?
A: (Action of scissoring legs apart)
Q: What does a bleached blonde and a 747 have in common?
A: They both have a black box.
Q: Why do blondes like tilt steering?
A: More head room.
Q: Why don't blondes eat pickles?
A: Because they can't get their head in the jar.
Q: Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?
A: Because you wash vegetables there!
Q: Why did the blonde scale the glass wall?
A: To see what was on the other side.
A brunette and a blonde are walking along in a park. The brunette says suddenly, "Awww, look at the dead birdie". The blonde stops, looks up, and says, "Where?"
A policeman pulled a blonde over after she'd been driving the wrong way on a one-way street.
Cop: Do you know where you were going?
Blonde: No, but wherever it is, it must be bad 'cause all the people were leaving.
Q: How do blondes pierce their ears?
A: They put tacks in their shoulder pads.
Q: How many blondes does it take to make chocolate chip cookies?
A: Five, one to make the batter and four to peel the smarties.
Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?
A: You can only get three fingers in a bowling ball.
Q: What is the difference between a blonde and "The Titanic"?
A: They know how many men went down on "The Titanic".
Q: How did the blonde try to kill the bird?
A: She threw it off a cliff.
Q: Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?
A: Because on the box it said From 2-4 years.
Q: What do you say to a blonde with no arms and no legs?
A: "Nice tits!"
Q: How does a blonde high-5?
A: She smacks herself in the forehead.
Q: Why aren't there many blonde gymnasts?
A: Because when they do the splits, they stick to the floor.
Q: Why do blondes wear their hair up?
A: To catch as much as they can that is over their heads.
Q: How does a blonde interpret 6.9?
A: A 69 interrupted by a period.
Q: How do you brainwash a blonde?
A: Give her a douche and shake her upside down.
Q: What do you call 15 blondes in a circle?
A: A dope ring.
Q: Why did the blonde go half way to Norway and then turn around and come home?
A: It took her that long to discover that a 14 inch Viking was a television.
Q: What to do if a blonde throws a grenade at you?
A: Pull the pin and throw it back.
Q: How is a screen door and a blonde the same?
A: The more you bang it the looser it gets.
Q: How do you get a blonde to laugh on Saturday?
A: Tell her a joke on Thursday!
Q: What do blondes and beer bottles have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up .
Q: What's the advantage to being married to a blonde?
A: You can park in the handicapped zone.
Q: If a Blonde and a Brunette both jumped off a bulding at the same time, who would land first?
A: The Brunette.....the blonde would have to stop and ask directions.
Q: Two Blondes were walking along, and came to some tracks. One blonde said, "Those look like deer tracks," and the other said, "No, they look like Moose tracks."
A: They were still arguing when the train hit them.
Q: What did the blonde call her pet Zebra?
A: Spot.
Q: Why did the blonde die drinking milk?
A: Because the cow fell on her.