[Joe 6-pack]

U.S. Army Airborne School is a three week course where, during the first week, they separate the boys from the men...

...during the second week they separate the men from the lunatics...

...and in the final week, the lunatics are given a parachute and thrown out of an airplane...

J6P, Lunatic

[petuniasevan]

On some air bases, the Air Force uses one side while the other side is for civilian aircraft, with the tower in the middle.

Aircraft to tower: What time is it?

Tower to aircraft: Please identify yourself.

Aircraft to tower: Why does that matter?

Tower to aircraft: What time it is depends on who you are.
If you're a commercial flight, it's 3:00 pm.
If you're Air Force, it's 1500 hours.
If you're a Navy aircraft, it's 6 bells.
If you're Army, the little hand is on the three and the big hand is on the twelve.
If you're a Marine, it's Thursday afternoon.

[petuniasevan]

Well, at least all you did to the aircraft was jump out of them.
Flight crews bring them back broken! (Voice of experience).