The most politically correct college student in the nation

Haverford-Bryn Mawr College News ^

[N. Theknow]

When I read it, I assumed she was probably joking. Then I noticed the hyphenated last name. I'm not so sure now.

Sincerely, Jennifer Zachary-Higgins, BMC ‘05

I wondered about that also. The class of '05 throws me off a bit. Usually the hyphenated name is used by womyn libbers. Not willing to take the name of the man they marry they wish to retain the man's name with which they were born.

[MotleyGirl70]

Many nations of the world are constantly suffering from famines, hurricanes, volcanic eruptions, and other natural disasters

I wonder if she really thinks that famines are natural disasters.

Don't forget about all those volcano eruptions!

Note to Jennifer: Sweetie, you better toughen up a little bit if you want to make in the real world. Now shut the hell up and go eat a tofu sandwich.

[harry palmer]

A budding Hillary Rodham.

[Our man in washington]

Actually, Haverford used to have a college football team. But it was so bad that it was disbanded 30 years ago because the coach was afraid that the players were too small and would get hurt.

[mlo]

Then again, a lot of us were overwrought in college, so maybe she'll grow out of it.

Even if she doesn't, she is unlikely to do much breeding.

[Yardstick]

This thing's obviously a spoof. Check out this line:

Instead, it merely makes a mockery of all those people, especially myself, who try to correct those problems, by trying (unsuccessfully) to make us laugh and distract us from our important work.

You've got a point about the hyphenated name, though. If I were arguing the case in court that this letter was written in seriousness, that would be my primary piece of evidence.

But this letter is such an obvious characature of left-wing sanctimoniousness that I'll chalk the hyphen up either to coincidence or the letter writer getting the characature correct down to the last detail.

[Alouette]

it merely makes a mockery of all those people, especially myself

Yeah Jennifer, it's all about you.

[CollegeRepublican]

Not true anymore. Swarthmore College also does not have a football team. Swat is part of the Triad of Evil with Bryn Mawr and Haverford. I should know I went there. Swat cut our football team after an 100 year tradition of football at Swarthmore. I believe Haverford cut their team in the 80s or 70s.

BTW, the girls at Bryn Mawr are either large, hairy, femi-nazis, rugby players or they are the bunch of dirty Britney Spears slut$.

[Billthedrill]

You know, if Bush hadn't stolen the election all those constant volcanic eruptions wouldn't be happening...

[MotleyGirl70]

A budding Hillary Rodham.

THAT is a frightening thought. /shudder

[RossA]

Good point! Given the disasters mentioned, she should change "constantly" to "variably".

[Alouette]

a lot of us were overwrought in college

Not me! I didn't start to put on weight until years later. But I was really thin while I was going to college. </blonde>

[CollegeRepublican]

I would be willing to bet you $100 that this is a serious letter from a real "girl" at Bryn Mawr. The hyphenated name is a common occurance at small eastern liberal arts colleges. LOTS of FEMINAZIs. I was the President of my fraternity at Swarthmore College and we used to have the girls from Bryn Mawr come over and party with us. Most of the girls were of the ditsy, dumb blond type. But every once in a while one of the blonds would bring one of their FEMINAZI troll roommates to our parties. Scary, brings back bad memories.

[Norman Conquest]

Didn't Swarthmore's sexist/insufficiently antiracist/ableist/neanderthal football team embarrass the PC student body by winning back-to-back national championships in Division III or IV or XXXIV some years back?

They could be tolerated so long as they lost, but when they brought unwelcome national attention by winning and besmirched Swarthmore's wussy image, the team had to die.

[BlueLancer]

Ol' Jennifer needs to chill out and get herself one of these ...

Vibrating Harry Potter broom

If used properly, this should tend to ease whatever ails her.

[Our man in washington]

Presumably, she is the daughter of a womyn's libber.

Anyway, Bryn Mawr is out there as far as political correctness goes, so I tend to believe this is for real. Besides, later letters responded to this letter, taking it seriously.

If you want to know just how politically correct Bryn Mawr is, check out this paragraph copied from this website: http://www.fruvous.com/00rev/000430.html

"Maypoles most of you probably know a little bit about so I'm going to describe the Bryn Mawr tradition of the Mayhole. As we all know maypoles are rather phallic, so Bryn Mawr, being a womens college has supplemented it with a mayhole: a large pink parachute covered with flower petals. The Mawrters (Bryn Mawr students) make a large circle around the mayhole and link arms. The mistress of the mayhole (or some such title... I can never keep them all straight) then binds the arms of the women with toilet paper representing the patriarchy. A chant begins... "Hey hey! Ho ho! The patriarchy has GOT to GO!" and goes on until the mistress frees one person from the bonds of the patriarchy. That person then goes and frees another and so on until all are free of the patriarchy and run to the mayhole and fling it about sending petals flying into the air. The lesbians and their girlfriends run under and kiss while Dar Williams' "As Cool As I Am" blasts over the loudspeakers. It's a lovely tradition. I love this school."

[Gumlegs]

Aztecs had to worry about jaguars falling from the sky. (I am not making this up)

As long as the XK doesn't land on your head ...

[Doug Loss]

A budding Hillary Rodham.

THAT is a frightening thought. /shudder

But probably accurate. How else would she reproduce?

[martin_fierro]

I'm not sure who's the poorer writer -- Jennifer, or the guy who rebuts her (and with whom I agree).

[Living Free in NH]

Here's a reply that I found via Yahoo...

Dear Editor,
I am writing in response to Jennifer Zachary-Higgins letter in Issue # 5. Quite frankly, this letter appalled me.

The author savagely attacks The Last Word section of the BiCo, calling it “… a mockery of all that is true and good in the world.” Unless I misunderstand, she says this for the following reasons:
A) She doesn’t think its funny, and
B) It serves no useful political function.

In regards to point A, she has every right to express her opinion. Tastes vary, and so do senses of humor. However, asking “… that David Langlieb stop his immoral page” because of this is extremely arrogant and offensive. I, for one, think that The Last Word is very funny, and I’m sure that many other readers agree with me. Just the fact that one student (or even many students) dislikes it is no reason to stop writing it. It so happens that I strongly dislike Laura Esquivel’s novel “Like Water for Chocolate,” and was somewhat miffed at the fact that my high school had it as assigned reading for both English and Spanish. Still, it never even occurred to me that I should tell Esquivel to stop writing—many people like her books, and their opinions are just as valid as mine.

If anything, point B is even more troubling. It states that The Last Word is “…trying (unsuccessfully) to make us laugh and distract us from our important work”. This in turn implies that art (which includes writing) has no value outside of its political content. This alarming notion is strongly evocative of the USSR under Lenin and Stalin, where the government insisted that all artistic products somehow further the cause of the glorious Communist Revolution.

Needless to say, artists who didn’t go along with the program tended to have very short life expectancies. I am aware that Jennifer Zachary-Higgins is not really calling for anyone’s execution. In fact, she’s not even calling for any actual censorship. Still, her letter presents a narrow-minded, ideologically-driven conception of something (art) that should, on the contrary, expand the mind. Sure, there has been plenty of great art that also had a political message. However, the real objective of art is to entertain people in a clever, well-conceived way. Whether any specific piece of art succeeds in this matter is very much a matter of personal opinion.

That’s my take on things. Long live The Last Word!

Sincerely,

Jeph Gord HC ‘04