To: runningbear
I'm so very sorry. No great answers for you, but a year
ago I lost my husband very unexpectedly. So, from my experience only; Your sister will probably be in a state of shock for a while, she just won't function normally. I told friends that my brain just didnt work any more. Folks would ask me what they could do and I didn't know. The most helpful folks were the ones that would just stop over
and be there, they didn't have to say a word. Look around, does the floor need to be swept or etc? She won't know what to tell you to do, so just do what you can see needs to be done. Listen. There are no answers so just listen.
Pray, pray and pray some more. Just show up and invite her out to dinner. Don't ask ahead of time, she'll most likely say no. Trying to look back over the year, if I think of anything else, I'll be back. In the meantime, will keep you in my prayers. So very sorry for your loss.
6 posted on
10/21/2002 6:27:31 PM PDT by
revivel
To: runningbear
:( Prayers for that peace that surpasses all understanding for you and all family members affected by this terrible loss
I don't have any answers for you. I do know there is a process and it will involve shock, denial, numbness, fear, anger and finally, some semblance of acceptance. These are the stepping stones, but some days we step ahead one and go back 3. You never fill the empty place it leaves, you just learn to walk with it everyday.
21 posted on
10/21/2002 7:16:15 PM PDT by
aeronca
To: revivel
In literature from Mothers Against Drunk Driving, I learned that news regarding an unexpected, tragic death, produced symptoms consistent with blunt-force head trauma ... disbelief, confusion, detachment from reality, inability to function ... in the very real sense of the word, such news is traumatic.
The counsel given you, runningbear, is very wise. I would only add that you give yourself time to revisit the pain of the loss of your father as well as dealing with the loss of your nephew ... strong people are people in pain, too.
May the Lord see all of you through this heartbreaking time and may you feel His strength and encouragement ...
Pegita
39 posted on
10/21/2002 10:09:14 PM PDT by
Pegita
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