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It reminds me of when I was in High School. I had a friend who was largely ignored by most of the student body. He was a very average student and athlete, but he lived next door to some friends of my parents, we became friendly as kids and stayed friends. I may have been the only friend he had in school. One day it was announced before 1st period that my friend had been killed the night before in a car accident. I was shocked and very saddened, but not nearly as shocked as I was at the way everyone in school reacted. Girls who wouldn't have given Tony the time of day if he'd ever screwed up the courage to ask for it were crying and sobbing about what a great friend they'd lost...teachers too. It seemed like everyone wanted to be part of something sad, like they wanted to gieve and felt good doing it.

Ever since then I've looked at these outporings of post mortem adulation with a very jaundiced eye. The makeshift memorials that spring up all over the place now wherever a tragedy occur always make me wonder just how genuine the emotion on display is..how much it has to do with the victima nd how much it has to do with people wanting attention.

You're right. It's like the guy who arrived a little late at a funeral. He sat there uncomfortably and listened to all the glowing remarks made about the deceased guy lying up there in the front of the funeral parlor. When the service was over, he went up front and looked in the casket to be sure he was in the right place, because what was said didn't fit the Joe he knew.

I concur completely with your thoughts regarding what had happened to your friend. I am sorry not only for his loss, but also for the degrading aftermath of the phony grief that must have made it worse for you and his family. Fakery, in all its forms, is easy to see through, and in that situation make the grieving and sense of loss all the more worse.