Per The Dialectizer:
John 2:1-25
1. And da damn dird day dere wuz some marriage in Cana uh Galilee; and da damn moda' of Jesus wuz dere, dig dis:
2. And bod Jesus wuz called, and his disciples, t'de marriage.
3. And when dey wants'ed wine, de moda' of Jesus said unto him, Dey gots no wine.
4. Jesus said unto her, Mama, whut gots ah' to do wid dee? mine hour be not yet come.
5. His moda' said unto de servants, Whutsoeva' he said unto ya', do it. Man!
6. And dere wuz set dere six boozepots uh stone, afta' de manna' of de purifyin' uh de Jews, containin' two o' dree firkins apiece.
7. Jesus said unto dem, Fill de boozepots wid booze. And dey filled dem down t'de brim. WORD!
8. And he said unto dem, Draw out now, and bear unto de governo' uh de feast. Man! And dey bare it. Man!
9. When de rula' of de feast had tasted da damn booze dat wuz made wine, and knowed not whence it wuz: (but da damn servants which drew de booze knowed;) de governo' uh de feast called da damn bridegroom,
10. And said unto him, Every joker at da damn beginnin' dod set fo'd baaaad wine; and when dudes have well drunk, den dat which be wo'se, dig dis: but dou hast kep' de baaaad wine until now, so cut me some slack, Jack.
11. Dis beginnin' uh miracles dun did Jesus in Cana uh Galilee, and manifested fo'd his glo'y; and his disciples recon'd on him. WORD!
12. Afta' dis he went waaay down t'Capuh'naum, he, and his moder, and his bredren, and his disciples, dig dis: and dey continued dere not many days.
13. And da damn Jews' passova' wuz at hand, and Jesus went down t'Jerusalem,
14. And found in de temple dose dat sold oxen and sheep and doves, and da damn changers uh bre'd sittin':
15. And when he had made some scourge uh small co'ds, he drove dem all out uh de temple, and da damn sheep, and da damn oxen; and poured out da damn changers' bre'd, and overdrew de tables;
16. And said unto dem dat sold doves, Snatch dese doodads hence; make not mah' Fader's crib an crib uh merchandise.
17. And his disciples remembered dat it wuz written, De zeal uh dine crib had fed da bud me down.
18. Den answered da damn Jews and said unto him, Whut sign shewest dou unto us, seein' dat dou duzt dese doodads?
19. Jesus answered and said unto dem, Destroy dis temple, and in dree days ah' gots'ta raise it down.
20. Den said da damn Jews, Fo'ty and six years wuz dis temple in buildin', and wilt dou rear it down in dree days?
21. But he rapped uh de temple uh his body. Slap mah fro!
22. When derefo'e he wuz risen fum de wasted, his disciples remembered dat he had said dis unto dem; and dey recon'd da damn scripture, and da damn wo'd which Jesus had said.
23. Now when he wuz in Jerusalem at da damn passover, in de feast day, many recon'd in his dojigger, when dey saw de miracles which he dun did.
24. But Jesus dun did not commit himself unto dem, cuz' he knowed all men,
25. And needed not dat any should testify uh man, dig dis: fo' he knowed whut wuz in man. 'S coo', bro.