Empty victory for a hollow man How Norm Coleman sold his soul for a Senate seat.

Salon.com ^ | Nov. 7, 2002 | By Garrison Keillor

[AlwaysLurking]

Empty victory for a hollow man How Norm Coleman sold his soul for a Senate seat.

http://www.salon.com/politics/feature/2002/11/07/minnesota/index_np.html By Garrison Keillor

Nov. 7, 2002 | Norm Coleman won Minnesota because he was well-financed and well-packaged. Norm is a slick retail campaigner, the grabbiest and touchingest and feelingest politician in Minnesota history, a hugger and baby-kisser, and he's a genuine boomer candidate who reinvents himself at will. The guy is a Brooklyn boy who became a left-wing student radical at Hofstra University with hair down to his shoulders, organized antiwar marches, said vile things about Richard Nixon, etc. Then he came west, went to law school, changed his look, went to work in the attorney general's office in Minnesota. Was elected mayor of St. Paul as a moderate Democrat, then swung comfortably over to the Republican side. There was no dazzling light on the road to Damascus, no soul-searching: Norm switched parties as you'd change sport coats.

Norm is glib. I once organized a dinner at the Minnesota Club to celebrate F. Scott Fitzgerald's birthday and Norm came, at the suggestion of his office, and spoke, at some length and with quite some fervor, about how much Fitzgerald means to all of us in St. Paul, and it was soon clear to anyone who has ever graded 9th grade book reports that the mayor had never read Fitzgerald. Nonetheless, he spoke at great length, with great feeling. Last month, when Bush came to sprinkle water on his campaign, Norm introduced him by saying, "God bless America is a prayer, and I believe that this man is God's answer to that prayer." Same guy.

(Jesse Ventura, of course, wouldn't have been caught dead blathering at an F. Scott Fitzgerald dinner about how proud we are of the Great Whoever-He-Was and his vision and his dream blah-blah-blah, and that was the refreshing thing about Jesse. The sort of unctuous hooey that comes naturally and easily to Norm Coleman Jesse would be ashamed to utter in public. Give the man his due. He spoke English. He didn't open his mouth and emit soap bubbles. He was no suck up. He had more dignity than to kiss the president's shoe.)

Norm got a free ride from the press. St. Paul is a small town and anybody who hangs around the St. Paul Grill knows about Norm's habits. Everyone knows that his family situation is, shall we say, very interesting, but nobody bothered to ask about it, least of all the religious people in the Republican Party. They made their peace with hypocrisy long ago. So this false knight made his way as an all-purpose feel-good candidate, standing for vaguely Republican values, supporting the president.

He was 9 points down to Wellstone when the senator's plane went down. But the tide was swinging toward the president in those last 10 days. And Norm rode the tide. Mondale took a little while to get a campaign going. And Norm finessed Wellstone's death beautifully. The Democrats stood up in raw grief and yelled and shook their fists and offended people. Norm played his violin. He sorrowed well in public, he was expertly nuanced. The mostly negative campaign he ran against Wellstone was forgotten immediately. He backpedalled in the one debate, cruised home a victor. It was a dreadful low moment for the Minnesota voters. To choose Coleman over Walter Mondale is one of those dumb low-rent mistakes, like going to a great steakhouse and ordering the tuna sandwich. But I don't envy someone who's sold his soul. He's condemned to a life of small arrangements. There will be no passion, no joy, no heroism, for him. He is a hollow man. The next six years are not going to be kind to Norm.

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About the writer Garrison Keillor is the creator and host of the nationally syndicated radio show "A Prairie Home Companion," broadcast on more than 500 public radio stations nationwide. For more columns by Keillor, visit his column archive.

[AlwaysLurking]

Oh my....those grapes must really be sour!

[Petronski]

Even if all that were true, Keillor would be kissing the guys cheeks if he caucused with the Democrat party.

[Petronski]

P.S. Hey Garrison: I listen to your show, but I never pledge any money. Neener, neener, neener.

[Cultural Jihad]

"About the writer Garrison Keillor is the ..." sore loser.

[Monti Cello]

It's OK...right-wing Christians are a forgiving lot.

If the article had solid evidence that Rove and Coleman were both socialist stooges, then maybe I'd get uptight.

Until then, I'll judge Coleman on his actions forthcoming.

[mlo]

If I might have ever been interested in anything Garrison Keillor had to say, this has cured me of it. Thanks Garrison!

[Heff]

The guy is a Brooklyn boy who became a left-wing student radical at Hofstra University with hair down to his shoulders, organized antiwar marches, said vile things about Richard Nixon, etc

Wasn't it Churchill who said, (paraphrasing a bit here) "Show me a man younger than 25 who is not a liberal, and I'll show you a man with no heart. Show me a man that is older that 35 that is not a Conservative, and I'll show you a man with no brains".

Norm, you are forgiven. We are glad yo came to your senses!

[bybybill]

What a bitter,bitter man. What`s the shot about Colemen`s home life all about?

[mrsmith]

"Call me nostalgic, but wasn't it nice to see Walter Mondale come out for one last ass-whipping?"
Dave Letterman

[lelio]

Yep. Amazing he didn't write this back when Coleman was a democrat.

[L.N. Smithee]

Keillor, IMHO, is still smarting that Rush Limbaugh has surpassed him in listenership and influence. He wasn't even a big enough deal in his own backyard to prevent the election of Ventura.

[Elenya]

Envy is a terrible curse...

[RS]

"To choose Coleman over Walter Mondale is one of those dumb low-rent mistakes, like going to a great steakhouse and ordering the tuna sandwich."

I guess that sums up what Garrison Keillor thinks of the people of Minnesota. I wonder how they feel about being insulted by him ?

[John W]

Don't know,but,I'm sure Garrison has claimed "its his private life" about others with "family situations".

[KriegerGeist]

"Garrison Keillor is the creator and host of the nationally syndicated radio show "A Prairie Home Companion".

He trashed Lutherans way too many times making Christianity and the stock of people I came from in Northwestern WI (almost in MN) a joke and a byword.
I stopped listening to his crap.

Our Public Radio station and the PBS TV station are spending more time having fund raisers that are not bringing in the funds than showing programs.
I think their writing is on the wall.

[Consort]

Which is Keillor and which is Reno?

[Common Tator]

The Democrats stood up in raw grief and yelled and shook their fists and offended people

Garrison doesn't write all that well when he is sobbing in his hanky.

The terrible thought is that Garrison Keeler is Minnesota's idea of a man.

I went to Minnesota once to work. My Dad told me the good news was that Minnesota was home to some of the most feminine women in the world. The Bad news was it is home to the most feminine men in the world too.

Garrison and Walter prove Daddy was right.

[Senator Pardek]

Everyone knows that his family situation is, shall we say, very interesting, but nobody bothered to ask about it...

Disgusting innuendo. Be a man "Garrison", and tell us. I'm ashamed to admit I enjoy APHC.

[xp38]

so true...what a run of schadenfreude this election has given...I so enjoy these bitter pained rants from leftists

[StormEye]

The Democrats stood up in raw grief and yelled and shook their fists and offended people. Norm played his violin. He sorrowed well in public..."

Oh, is that what it was - raw grief? Those DemonRATS just exuded "raw grief" while ordering mustard and relish on their hot dogs at the concession stands.

[laurav]

Ah, Garrison.

The man is funny, and I love his radio voice. But he doesn't seem to understand that the folks who like to listen to Prairie Home Companion are the types who identify with the down-home values he mocks. On the radio program it comes out as good-humored mocking. But when Garrison opens his mouth to spout his political opinions, the truth appears.

[UB355]

Gee Garrison, if there had been anything about his homelife that would have damaged his rep the dims would have announced it, not left it to innuendo you snake.

[Nick Danger]

Oh look, a bitter liberal with a nasty streak! He lost, and he's so mad.

So Valium finally comes to Lake Wobegon, and they lived bitterly ever after.

Fuggem.

[MoralSense]

The guy is a Brooklyn boy who became a left-wing student radical at Hofstra University with hair down to his shoulders, organized antiwar marches, said vile things about Richard Nixon, etc. Then he came west, went to law school, changed his look, went to work in the attorney general's office in Minnesota. Was elected mayor of St. Paul as a moderate Democrat, then swung comfortably over to the Republican side.

It's called growing up, Garrison.

[tpaine]

"The guy is a Brooklyn boy who became a left-wing student radical, organized antiwar marches, said vile things about Richard Nixon, etc. Then he came west, was elected mayor of St. Paul as a moderate Democrat, ---"


Sounds like norm is your kinda guy, CJ.

-- But at least he was right about nixon.

[ambrose]

Norm switched parties as you'd change sport coats.

How would this scumbag liberal know what is inside Coleman's heart or what motivates him?

In truth, Norm Coleman said that he decided to become a Republican on Yom Kippur of 1996. For you non-Jews, Yom Kippur is the day that Jews are supposed to atone for their sins.

[gore_sux_2000]

What a jerk. Never listened to him, never will! Lots of Dems are acting like sore losers here. Too bad!

[FreedomPoster]

Salon? Salon who?

Oh yeah, THOSE guys:

[abclily]

These liberals really are out of touch with reality!

[prognostigaator]

your small print carries a big stick.....right on!

[AlwaysLurking]

I hear ya...being raised Lutheran myself! His early tapes are sometimes so funny that I have peed in my pants....but he hasn't been funny for at least 10 years now, so I gave up on him! It is nice to have dry pants now!

I always wonder how a small town midwestern Lutheran boy could grow up to be a communist! Must be all that ther higher education!

[Paul Atreides]

Norm Coleman won Minnesota because he was well-financed and well-packaged. Norm is a slick retail campaigner, the grabbiest and touchingest and feelingest politician in Minnesota history, a hugger and baby-kisser, and he's a genuine boomer candidate who reinvents himself at will.

That description sounds more like Bubba, in my opinion.

[Post Toasties]

The Democrats stood up in raw grief and yelled and shook their fists and offended people.

This, to Garrison Keillor, is 'raw grief'. His swipes at Coleman are about as far off base.

[L.N. Smithee]

"To choose Coleman over Walter Mondale is one of those dumb low-rent mistakes, like going to a great steakhouse and ordering the tuna sandwich."

Maybe Minnesotans remember how that "steak" they ate twenty-two years ago was tainted with E. coli.

[jwfiv]

Embarassin' Garrison quit makin' me puke 15 years ago when I gave a the last minute of time I'll ever give him...whatta silly person he is...just an old maid in britches and suspenders.

[zook]

You'd feel sour too, if you had to wake up with that guy's face every morning.

[Tribune7]

Dang, I tried to listen to his about a decade ago. I couldn't.

[L.N. Smithee]

But I don't envy someone who's sold his soul. He's condemned to a life of small arrangements. There will be no passion, no joy, no heroism, for him. He is a hollow man. The next six years are not going to be kind to Norm.

Do you mean, Garry, like the past two years have not been kind to Clinton?

[tonyinv]

Coleman switches and runs for office under a new party label and gets elected, thats a bad thing. Jeffords switches AFTER the election and he's a hero. (A<>A)

To choose Coleman over Walter Mondale is one of those dumb low-rent mistakes, like going to a great steakhouse and ordering the tuna sandwich.

How exactly does this guy expect his party to win these voters back next time, when they've spent the past few days blaming them and calling them names? It shows their true nature, which is a total lack of respect for the voter.

I dont recall any conservative voices blaming the people after 1992 & 1996. I could be wrong about that, but it seems to me conservatives are alot more introspective after losing.

He's condemned to a life of small arrangements. There will be no passion, no joy, no heroism, for him. He is a hollow man. The next six years are not going to be kind to Norm.

There is only passion in being a Democrat, there is only joy in being a socialist, and apparently there is only heroism in losing an election when your Socialist Democrat opponent tragically dies in a plane crash.

By the way, that's Senator-Elect Coleman to you buddy!

I occasionally listened to A.P.H.C., and enjoyed it at times. I never knew this was the guy doing that show, oh well, its back to Rush reruns on the weekends.

[Tribune7]

If Keillor is upset, Coleman must be very, very good.

[Paul Atreides]

Everyone knows that his family situation is, shall we say, very interesting

Oh, is he a dope-head, a womanizer, a rapist, a cheat, a liar, a sexist, a racist, a crook, a traitor, a thief, an ego-maniac, a sociopath, and petulant? Come on, Garrison, quit acting like a gay gossip columnist and tell us. Then, tell us how much whatever it is about him is in his private life.

[Polybius]

Norm played his violin. He sorrowed well in public, he was expertly nuanced.

Did Garrison Keillor ever raise any objections when Bill Clinton would put on his act and bite his lip on national TV?

[Tribune7]

I dont recall any conservative voices blaming the people after 1992 & 1996.

We didn't. We blamed a dishonest media for failing to warn the people about what was really seeking to be their leaders.

[exDemMom]

The Democrats stood up in raw grief and yelled and shook their fists and offended people.

Gosh, I didn't realize that a campaign rally (aired for free on local stations, I understand?) counts as an expression of "raw grief."

Besides, Dems can't help but offend people. It's their nature.

[weikel]

Wellstone is just another dead commie a good start if you ask me.

[zook]

If Garrison is this bitter, I can't wait to see what Michael Moore has to spew!

[aruanan]

Oh my....those grapes must really be sour!

That's exactly what I thought. Interesting that someone who can come up with some really smart and humorous radio can come up with some really stupid political commentary.

[SuziQ]

Everyone knows that his family situation is, shall we say, very interesting, but nobody bothered to ask about it,

Oh, Please, Garrison, if the Dems. had had ANY dirt on Coleman that was CREDIBLE, it would have been front page news and would have been the lead stories on the networks! This is a typical left wing whisper campaign.

[Bloody Sam Roberts]

I'll be using my copy of "Lake Wobegone Days" to start tonight's fire in the Great Room.

What a piece of snot Keillor is.

[Timesink]

For all his faux-folksiness, Garrison Keillor has long been known - or should I say infamous - for being one of the angriest liberals on planet Earth. He rarely leaves the Upper West Side of Manhattan, except to do his radio show, because to him it's the only place populated by people as intelligent as Garrison Keillor. In fact, he even tried to move his radio show to Manhattan, but it was a gigantic flop, so he had to move it back to Minnesota and keep whipping up the Lake Wobegon BS to keep the cash rolling in. He is bitter, angry, and just plain mean. He is to be pitied and laughed at.