Replies

JoAnn was a busy housewife with a demanding husband, six children
and a large house. The only relief JoAnn got from her chores was
the twice-a-week bridge game she shared with a dozen other women.
The only flaw in the bridge club relationship was that JoAnn
loved to tell off-color stories and the girls didn't want to hear
them.

To teach JoAnn a lesson, the other women decided that the next
time she told an off-color story, they'd just get up, walk out,
and meet at another home but without her.

Sure enough, at the next bridge club meeting, JoAnn started,
"You know, girls, there's a rumor going around that a busload
of prostitutes will be leaving in the morning for that big gold
find up in Alaska, and they say . . . " Just then, the women all
stood up and started for the door.

JoAnn was disconcerted, but only for a moment. Then she
understood what was going on and said, "Hey! Girls! Hold on,
hold on! There's plenty of time because the bus doesn't leave
until morning!"

An elderly woman had just returned to her home from an evening of
religious service when she was startled by an intruder. As she caught the man in the act of robbing her home of its valuables, she yelled, "Stop....Acts 2:38!" (turn from your sin).

The burglar stopped dead in his tracks. The woman calmly called the
police and explained what she had done. As the officer cuffed the man to take him in, he asked the burglar, "Why did you just stand there? All she did was yell a scripture to you."

"Scripture?", replied the burglar. "She said she had an AXE and two
38's!"

Two nuns were driving through a bad part of town when a mugger jumped out of the shadows and onto the hood of the car. "Show him your cross!," cried the Mother Superior to the young novice nun in the passenger seat.The young novice rolled down the window and yelled,"Hey get off the F***ing car!!"

Three Labs a black, a chocolate and a yellow are in the Vet's waiting room with their owners.

The chocolate asks the yellow: "What are you here for?" The yellow answers: "Because I chew, I chewed on the carpet, on the furniture, on the plants, but the last straw was when I chewed on her $300.00 purse; so I'm here for medication to stop chewing."

The black asks chocolate: "What are you here for? The chocolate lab relies: "Because I pee, I pee everywhere but the finally straw was when I peed on my owneres' bed. Boy was she mad, so she brought me here to get a shot to control my bladder."

The yellow lab asks the black: "So what's your story?"
So the black says: "I'm here because I hump, I hump the chairs, the couch, pillows, legs, but the final straw was when my owner bent over to pick up towel after getting out of the shower...."

"Oh no", scream the yellow and the chocolate, "their going to cut off your nuts!!!!"

"No", replies the black lab "I'm just here to have my nails clipped!"