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Canuckleheads: Wimps in a world of tough guys
Toronto Sun ^ | 11.12.02 | Gary Dunford

Posted on 11/18/2002 7:24:00 AM PST by mhking

November 12, 2002

Canuckleheads

Wimps in a world of tough guys

By GARY DUNFORD -- Toronto Sun

IRAQAPHOBIA: If the Americans launch a surprise strike on Toronto tonight, blow up the CN Tower and a hockey arena or two, might Canadian politicians blink? Get aboard the War-on-Terror Express? Cheer the next chopper into Baghdad?

"A little invasion is precisely what Canada needs," claims Jonah Goldberg in the new National Review, whose hilarious cover displays four Mounties on horseback and the delightful headline, Wimps! It's right up there with The Sun's own memorable front pages: Bastards! Dink! It's a grabber.

"Canada has responded (in the past) to real threats with courage and conviction," admits the 33-year-old editor of NatReview Online and rising cable news talking head. "If the U.S. were to launch a quick raid, blow up some symbolic but unoccupied structure -- Toronto's CN Tower or an empty hockey stadium -- Canada would re-arm overnight."

Oh, if wishes were horses we could all go campin', little buddy. You want buttermilk pancakes for breakfast? More coffee?

"Canada is quite simply, not a serious country anymore," Goldberg declares. "It (embraces) not just anti-Americanism but also the belief Western nations don't need military might ... If al-Qaida launched a Sept. 11-style attack from Canadian soil, we would have two choices: Ask Canada to take charge, or take charge ourselves."

Call in the Buffalo National Guard! Declare martial law! Especially if it's February and Mayor Mel has our Canadian Forces shovelling snow. Can we still afford shovels? God help us if we have to dig out with sticks.

Right-wing gab

Ignore for a moment that none of the 9/11 terrorists came from beaverland.

But the alarming NatReview cover -- "Canada's whiny and weak anti-Americanism" -- hot on the heels of Pat Buchanan's "Canuckistan" comments on us northern commies? Plus Secretary of Scares John Ashcroft's delightful we-don't-need-your-stinkin'-passports photo op at Niagara Falls last week?

"Heck, Dunf," I hear the chorus, "it's just a few right-wing soldiers blowing smoke." Hello! Did you notice who got control of the U.S. Senate and House last week? And Ashcroft ain't a soldier. He's a general.

Clearly, our neighbours are unhappy. Where do you imagine this stuff comes from? Thin air? Or the never-pink think-tanks George W. and his funsters-in-charge value most? Like Lassie, maybe they're tryin' to tell us something.

"Now don't get me wrong -- I like Canadians," Goldberg scopes. "They are often among the nicest and most decent people you'd ever want to meet. They just don't live in a normal country."

Can I see a show of hands? Amen to that.

Telltale signs to the Yanks that Canada is not a normal country? Goldberg's take ...



TOPICS: Canada; Constitution/Conservatism; Culture/Society; Editorial; Foreign Affairs; News/Current Events
KEYWORDS:

1 posted on 11/18/2002 7:24:00 AM PST by mhking
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To: mhking
"It (embraces) not just anti-Americanism but also the belief Western nations don't need military might.

They don't have to. They have the U.S. to hide behind.

2 posted on 11/18/2002 7:27:42 AM PST by Blood of Tyrants
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To: mhking
Canadians know so much about America but Americans know nothing about Canada . . .

If you question them closely, you'll find not even that claim is true. I once had some dumb Newfie try to tell me that France was the world's oldest democracy. The whole country has been dumbed-down and liberalfied. What the NEA wants to accomplish here was accomplished there 20 years ago.

3 posted on 11/18/2002 7:45:43 AM PST by LibWhacker
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To: mhking
There is a big difference between the Canadian people and the Canadian government. Don't confuse one with the other.
4 posted on 11/18/2002 7:46:29 AM PST by Grig
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To: Grig
Amen. We Western Canadians absolutely HATE the cursed Eastern Federal Liberals that have taken control over our country.
5 posted on 11/18/2002 7:59:25 AM PST by Edward Watson
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To: Edward Watson
Gimme a Molsons...
6 posted on 11/18/2002 8:06:06 AM PST by Eric in the Ozarks
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To: Edward Watson
Amen. We Western Canadians absolutely HATE the cursed Eastern Federal Liberals that have taken control over our country.

Secede and join the US as states ... we need the hunting land :)

7 posted on 11/18/2002 8:09:49 AM PST by Centurion2000
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To: Edward Watson
What prevents Sask, Manitoba, Alberta, BC and the NW Territories from seceding from the East? Fear of the Canadian Army? (snigger!) I get the impression that if the Sturgis Bike Run were to take it into thier heads to invade Canada, they could be sitting in Ottawa, dictating terms aboot free gas and medical care for Road Rash, by the end of the week.
8 posted on 11/18/2002 8:27:35 AM PST by jonascord
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To: jonascord
Prairie Provinces or fight! 14 guys with Winnebagos could take tehm from Canada (g)
9 posted on 11/18/2002 8:50:45 AM PST by Salgak
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To: mhking
I suppose you lot have heard all about this:

Canada's Plot for World Domination and Socialism

Sitting back to watch the fireworks

Regards, Ivan

10 posted on 11/18/2002 8:54:24 AM PST by MadIvan
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To: Edward Watson
You are so right. Americans need to realize that Eastern Canada is as bad as Kaliforia. However, Western Canada is a cool place (outside of Vancouver).
11 posted on 11/18/2002 9:26:40 AM PST by ohioman
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To: Edward Watson
Of course, Western Canada is an idea whose time has come, but the Republic of Alberta may come first.
12 posted on 11/18/2002 10:13:12 AM PST by Siobhan
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To: jonascord
I always enjoyed Sgt. Preston and Mr. D. DooRight.
13 posted on 11/18/2002 10:18:59 AM PST by battlegearboat
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To: ohioman
I too am a born and raised B.C.er - big c Conservative. I and anybody I know has NOTHING, Nothing I tell you in common with what comes out of Ottawa. We despise, hate, resent and resist all things Eastern. My hope is that the Kyoto treaty will be the catalyst that pushes the West into separting. If Ontario doesn't "get it" together this time, because of what Kyoto will do to their Province, then they will be left sucking wind Big Time. If Ontario would smarten up and Not vote in Liberals federally, the entire Country could be turned around. Other than that, the West needs to separate and join the US. We are like two entirely different species anyway. The West from the East that is. It's no different than comparing New Yorkers to Georgians or Mississippians(word?).
14 posted on 11/18/2002 10:49:43 AM PST by Canadian Outrage
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To: ohioman
Hey! Watch your mouth! *I* live in Vancouver!

Sure, we're a city of potheads, gay pride parades, and have an openly gay MP, but where else are you going to find the most beautiful city in North America, where one can ski the mountains during the morning, windsurf and sunbathe at noon, hike in the afternoon and party in the evening?

Besides, the only real loony place here is the western half of Vancouver, especially the Kitsalano area. Everywhere else is sane - just look at the MPs we elect. Nearly all are Canadian Alliance.

15 posted on 11/18/2002 11:26:49 AM PST by Edward Watson
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To: Centurion2000
This is precisely what I want but the US government is going to have to extend the invitation in order to galvanise the public mind out here.
16 posted on 11/18/2002 11:28:05 AM PST by Edward Watson
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To: jonascord
Dang it, you're taking my thunder. I want the Canadian West to secede from Canada and join the US. It'll be much better for both the United States and us Western Canucks.
17 posted on 11/18/2002 11:29:19 AM PST by Edward Watson
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To: Canadian Outrage
I completely agree. I live in Burnaby. Where are you?
18 posted on 11/18/2002 11:30:07 AM PST by Edward Watson
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To: Edward Watson
Hi Edward, I'm in Kelowna. We aren't far apart huh?
19 posted on 11/18/2002 11:45:56 AM PST by Canadian Outrage
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To: Canadian Outrage
"I too am a born and raised B.C.er - big c Conservative. I and anybody I know has NOTHING, Nothing I tell you in common with what comes out of Ottawa. We despise, hate, resent and resist all things Eastern. My hope is that the Kyoto treaty will be the catalyst that pushes the West into separting. If Ontario doesn't "get it" together this time, because of what Kyoto will do to their Province, then they will be left sucking wind Big Time. If Ontario would smarten up and Not vote in Liberals federally, the entire Country could be turned around. Other than that, the West needs to separate and join the US. We are like two entirely different species anyway. The West from the East that is. It's no different than comparing New Yorkers to Georgians or Mississippians(word?)."

You are dead opn my friend. How about the U.S trade California for Western Canada, including a state to be named later (i.e., Vermont or Southern Florida).

20 posted on 11/18/2002 12:23:18 PM PST by ohioman
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To: Edward Watson
Lol. You are right about Vancouver. It is a beautiful city. I was pissed when the X-files quit filming there and moved to Kalifornia.
21 posted on 11/18/2002 12:24:32 PM PST by ohioman
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To: mhking
A few minutes ago I caught the tail-end of a tv news report that a vehicle had crashed through the barriers at the Canadian border and no one knows why or where the vehicle and its occupants are.

Has anyone else heard anything about this?
22 posted on 11/18/2002 12:52:38 PM PST by WaterDragon
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To: LibWhacker
 I once had some dumb Newfie try to tell me that France was
the world's oldest democracy.

Back in the seventies, as a newly landed immigrant
I was amused by the reaction I got from Torontonians
noticing my accent and asking where I was from.

If I said I was from the US, I got a cold shoulder.
If I told them I was from Texas, it was excited
friendliness, and what was the wild west really like?
Hate Americans, love Texans.  Uhmmm, ok.

23 posted on 11/18/2002 12:52:48 PM PST by gcruse
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To: mhking
Well, I look at it this way - Toronto took Jose Cruz Jr from the Ms and gave us Spoljarak and Timlin in return.

Nuke 'em, eh.

24 posted on 11/18/2002 12:57:24 PM PST by Billthedrill
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To: WaterDragon
Yeah, the border "crashing" occurred yesterday afternoon (Sunday).

Apparently some bozo in a red civic was waiting at the Blaine border line-up (south of Vancouver), saw an unused lane, roared thru, and hopped onto I-5 - made a clean get-away! He even did it so fast that the cameras couldn't clearly read his license plate.

This doesn't look to good for the US border security, eh?

(BTW, I also live in Vancouver, and am also hoping for BC AND Alberta to separate from the Eastern Tyranny!!!)
25 posted on 11/18/2002 1:35:18 PM PST by canuck_conservative
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To: Eric in the Ozarks
Canadians need to get with the program... it is a pitcher of beer, not a jug of beer.

To be politically correct though, I love jugs :-)

Trajan88; TAMU Class of '88

26 posted on 11/18/2002 1:41:35 PM PST by Trajan88
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To: LibWhacker
"I once had some dumb Newfie try to tell me that France was the world's oldest democracy."

I had a similar experience:

I was on a Canadian board and a Canadian poster claimed that Canada is the largest country in the world. I gently pointed out that "no, Russia is actually the largest." He said that "Russia used to be, but since the Soviet Union broke up, now Canada is the largest." I said "no, Russia is still the largest, and here are the stats from the CIA Worldbook to prove it." He then said that I "have too much time" on my hands and "obviously have no life," and that he wasn't going to talk to me any more.
27 posted on 11/18/2002 1:44:59 PM PST by calenel
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To: Edward Watson
where else are you going to find the most beautiful city in North America,

The most beautiful city in North America is Chester, Pa.!

28 posted on 11/18/2002 1:47:42 PM PST by Tribune7
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To: Edward Watson
I have to disagree. Canada is neat just they way it is. From my perspective, east and west are just a little bit European, although Calgarians must be Europeans from Montana. I get to Calgary, Regina and Toronto regularly, and love it all. I don't want a chunk of Canada attached to the US.
29 posted on 11/18/2002 2:32:44 PM PST by Eric in the Ozarks
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To: ohioman
That trade sounds like a plan!!
30 posted on 11/18/2002 3:05:05 PM PST by Canadian Outrage
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To: Eric in the Ozarks
No attachments per se, just good trades!! get with the program 'k! LOL
31 posted on 11/18/2002 3:11:20 PM PST by Canadian Outrage
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To: Edward Watson
Vancouver is a MUCH different city than when I lived there. I did my grade 12, 1 year at UBC and then got my nursing degree at VGH. I don't think a Svend Robinson in those days would have survived period. He is SUCH an embarassment and abomination. And I thought it was East Vancouver most of the whackjobs, eg. Glen Clark, the union crowd, Georgetti and of course little Svend. I wish they would ship him out somewhere and there is definitely something wrong with the people who would vote for him. Kitsalano is jus the artsy area isn't it??? Course they can be pretty weird too. btw I went to Magee High School. Do you know it??
32 posted on 11/18/2002 3:20:11 PM PST by Canadian Outrage
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To: calenel
re: your post #27 - sounds like you ran into a typical Easterner.!! He certainly fits the description of a canucklehead.
33 posted on 11/18/2002 3:27:19 PM PST by Canadian Outrage
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To: Edward Watson
"This is precisely what I want but the US government is going to have to extend the invitation in order to galvanise the public mind out here."

Won't happen. What might happen is that an invitation would be extended if the Provinces were already independent, but that isn't all that probable, either. The US government won't take any action that would "destabilize" Canada. The provinces will have to initiate the statehood process (unless things get really bad, such as in a civil war or total collapse of the Canadian government).

What about local action, like a media blitz in the western provinces, done by Canadians who live there, with letters to the editor of your regional papers, bulk mailings, rallies and so on, to promote public awareness of the possibility? I think you would have to state right out that the first move would be up to the people of the provinces in question. A concerted letter writing campaign to the politicians in your province might at least get the question on the table.

Just think of the benefits - direct representation, in Washington, no work visas for the US, no tariffs, lower taxes, more local autonomy on things like guns. Of course, you would have to give up your "world class" state-provided universal health care...
34 posted on 11/18/2002 3:38:32 PM PST by calenel
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To: canuck_conservative
I don't blame you. We'll take any Canadians ready to give up state-health care, no nanny government!

Thanks for the update!
35 posted on 11/18/2002 3:42:22 PM PST by WaterDragon
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To: Canadian Outrage
"sounds like you ran into a typical Easterner.!! He certainly fits the description of a canucklehead."

I tell you, I was flabbergasted. So brainwashed by the socialist indoctrination machine of public education that he couldn't accept the truth even when presented with documented evidence. I puzzled over the question of why this kid could not accept that Canada was "only" the second largest country in the world, and am still not sure I have a good answer, but I think it has to do with Identity Crisis.
36 posted on 11/18/2002 3:47:23 PM PST by calenel
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To: Canadian Outrage
Yeah, Mississippians is a word :^)
37 posted on 11/18/2002 4:58:34 PM PST by afuturegovernor
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To: Canadian Outrage; Edward Watson
While I was born and now live in Texas, I lived for three years in Calgary. Western Canada is filled with wonderful, hard working, friendly people who would be a great asset to the United States. There is plenty of room for four or five more stars on our flag! Come on down.
38 posted on 11/18/2002 5:15:02 PM PST by HoustonCurmudgeon
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To: mhking
Pat Buchanan's "Canuckistan" comments

OK. Who's got Pat's email address?
I demand he give me ( and FR) credit for inventing and first using the word!

39 posted on 11/18/2002 6:39:57 PM PST by watcher1
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