It's Official: Osama bin Laden is Alive

Fox News

[F.J. Mitchell]

He has to finish feeding the maggots before he can start pushing up poppies.

[VRWC_minion]

It is my guess that he is probably alive. I doubt he would have kept himself a target by staying in Aghanistan when the war started. That said, I am nuetral on this tape because the wording so far doesn't conclude he was alive when it was made.

[Doe Eyes]

He can't be alive. This is just a ploy by the Liberal media (New York Times and others) to make President Bush look bad.

[areafiftyone]

Somehow I don't think he was in Tora Bora when we bombed. I think he left before we started bombing there. We really have no proof he was there when we bombed. Remember we had a whole layout on the place with grapics in the news before we even bombed it so he was forwarned about us bombing that hideout. He would have been pretty stupid to stay there. Bin Laden had plenty of time to leave.

[martin gibson]

Next, he'll be hiding in North Korea...

He is hiding in my ex-wife's basement...(I am series..)

[F.J. Mitchell]

Okay with you if we call him "Dead man talking"?

[cyncooper]

LOL

[VRWC_minion]

He is hiding in my ex-wife's basement...(I am series..)

If he marries her you'll be off the hook for alimony.

[XJarhead]

I am doubtful he is alive. There would be a video tape of him dancing & singing "nanny nanny boo boo, you missed me you missed me, now you gotta kiss me". When I see that MAYBE I'll believe the evil one still lives

I used to make the exact same argument, thinking that there was no reason for him not to do that if he were really still alive. But some alternative explanations have been put out that sound pretty reasonable to me.

First, he may have changed his appearence. If that were the case, then the last thing he'd want to do is appear on a videotape. Second, he may be in very crappy health and look terrible. If that were true, then he also might not want to appear on tape.

Either possibility may explain why he might be alive but not appear in a tape. And both possibilities appear reasonable to me. The "if he were still alive we'd see a videotape" argument has lost a bit of its persuasiveness to me.

[cyncooper]

He can't be alive. This is just a ploy by the Liberal media (New York Times and others) to make President Bush look bad.

Why "can't" he be alive???

And how does this make President Bush look bad?

[F.J. Mitchell]

"He's hiding in my ex-wife's basement."

Lucky you-considering the rent he is probably paying, she won't need the alimony anymore, will she?

[Let's Roll]

If he IS alive - there is no rational reason for no video tape. While I see the value of keeping him "alive" - it would be less insulting for the govt to say examination of the tape has proven inconclusive.

[The Great Satan]

Is an AT&T Natural Voices Osama plug-in available yet?

[Quicksilver]

It may be his voice but that's not proof that he is alive. They would have to have the original recording to really know how it was made. Say I were to create a digital recording from bits and pieces and feed it to you through a narrow analog channel, such as a phone line: it would sound real and recently recorded.

[F.J. Mitchell]

That is the handicap our troops go into battle with, the whole world has a copy of the battle plans, months before the mission is launched. Look how we and Saddam already know just what the battle plans are for the invaision of Iraq.

If things were done in the 1940s, the way they are today, the world language would be a mixture of Japanese and German, and Hitler and Tojo's faces would be on Mt. Rushmore.

God have mercy on our troops-Our right to know carries more weight than their safety. Assinity rules!

[Smile-n-Win]

And maybe the tapes aren't spliced... Bin Laden could have praised the Bali attacks (or others) before they were carried out. Heck, who knows how many taped messages there are of OBL praising attacks that were foiled.

That's exactly what I was thinkin'.

[xJones]

The real question is what happens when you play the tape backwards.

I've heard it says, "By the humps of the Prophet's camel! Akmed, can't you get the splicing right?"

[b4its2late]

Where's Waldo?

[Austin Willard Wright]

Woodrow Wilson couldn't have said better! The new millenium is just around the corner eh? Please note that Americans are now being attacked with rockets in Afghanistan and war lords (and bandits) are back in the saddle. So much for your utopian crusade thus far! Good luck. Perhaps Christ will return to help....because you need all the help you can get to bring in Heaven on Earth.

[b4its2late]

He is hiding in my ex-wife's basement...

It's probably not safe for you to go there and attempt to bring him to justice, even if there is a large reward involved..... ex-wives are more dangerous than current ones and even more dangerous than bin laden.