Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

To: PatrickHenry; VadeRetro; RadioAstronomer; general_re
I am developing a process to create Helium-3 using the digestive tract operating of a secret recipe involving beer, garlic, and Fig Newtons, based upon my revolutionary Quantum Theory of Flatulence.

This process will make free-energy a reality, and will avoid the need to go to the moon (or anywhere else other the local convenience store) to get Helium-3.

I am setting up a company to license this amazing technology to create Helium-3 so that the world will benefit from free-energy. Licensing agreements must be executed, and payment rec'd, before disclosure of the details of how my process works will be made similtaneously to all licensees via the internet.

My amazing Helium-3 process is the result of 2 years work by over 400 visionary researchers, including many top-rank scientists, none of whom I will identify. They have been working in secret in my basement laBORatory, refining the perfect recipe for the production of this wonderful, energy-producing, environmentally friendly gas.

Since this discovery was overlooked by mainstream scientists, they will naturally be envious of what we have accomplished, so there is no point in publishing our findings in a reputable scientific journal; they would refuse to publish revolutionary work like this. We instead will publish vague pronouncements on the internet, devoid of any meaningful details, but full of peppy-sounding words and phrases honed by our cracker-jack Public Relations flacks. They will even insert an occasional vague religious allusion, using phrases like "scripturally inspired" and "spiritually motivated," to dupe religiously-minded people into wanting in on the action. Then we will sit back and watch what people on the internet say, and we will update our website frequently to delete material that tips people off to the fact we are running a scam, and replace it with new material proven to suck in the suckers.

These license agreements are going to sell like hot cakes, so be sure to fill out your application and include a cashier's check in the amount of $5,000 ea. (payable to our bankers in the Cayman Islands) for whatever continent you want exclusive rights to. It doesn't matter if someone else has already purchased the rights to the same territory; we intend on selling as many licenses as we can, regardless of overselling; if the airlines can do it with seats, why not us?

Please check back frequently for new updates, and the address the company will soon be moving to in a country with no extradition treaty with the US....

13 posted on 12/08/2002 6:57:27 PM PST by longshadow
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies ]


To: longshadow
That looks fantastic, and yet I can't shake the feeling I've seen it done already.
17 posted on 12/08/2002 7:12:00 PM PST by VadeRetro
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 13 | View Replies ]

To: longshadow
Count me in! I have long been a proponent of Flatulence Powertm. I am impressed by your marketing scheme, having seen it used by other reputable enterprises. For example: Genesis World Energy. I congratulate you on your vision.
18 posted on 12/08/2002 7:12:22 PM PST by PatrickHenry
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 13 | View Replies ]

To: longshadow
I take it that you are a doubter? LOL! Great screed. Heinlein included H3 fusion in some of his fiction.

It may or may not work out, but it is actually out there in the mainstream.

/john

19 posted on 12/08/2002 7:14:25 PM PST by JRandomFreeper
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 13 | View Replies ]

To: longshadow; PatrickHenry; VadeRetro
I am developing a process to create Helium-3 using the digestive tract operating of a secret recipe involving beer, garlic, and Fig Newtons, based upon my revolutionary Quantum Theory of Flatulence.

Go ahead, waste your time "manufacturing" helium-3. I've discovered the mother-lode of helium-3 deposits, deep within the bowels of Planet Seven. While you're flatulently wasting your time, I'll be probing ever deeper into Planet Seven, and transporting helium-3 back to Earth, for the exclusive use of our investors.

And for a limited time, opportunities still exist for the savvy investor interested in a thorough examination of Planet Seven. Unlike some other "manufacturing" processes, I have 4-color glossy brochures explaining exactly how the Planet Seven mining operation works, and how anyone can own a piece of one of the most exciting technologies ever realized...

27 posted on 12/08/2002 7:27:55 PM PST by general_re
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 13 | View Replies ]

To: longshadow
beer, garlic, and Fig Newtons
my theory also includes refried beans and sauerkraut for that super Helium-3 effect.
66 posted on 12/08/2002 9:50:33 PM PST by patriot5186
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 13 | View Replies ]

Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article


FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson