10 things McDonald's must do to get its house in order

USA Today ^ | 12-12-2002 | Bruce Horovitz

[Cagey]

The Golden Arches aren't going away. And poor Ronald McDonald will continue to muster a smile.

McDonald's in Hinsdale, Ill., looks cheery, but the chain has problems.

But with a new CEO on tap, just about everything else at McDonald's (MCD) is on the table. Or, perhaps, soon could be flying off the table.

[SoothingDave]

There's a McDonald's up in the town of St. Jean-sur-Richelieu, Quebec, just north of the border in upstate New York along the Richelieu River. I stopped there once and was amazed at how clean the place was.

I think it has more to do with the parents of the kids who are working there, and how they were raised. There are isolated spots on the PA turnpike where you see fresh, young helpful courteous folks working there.

Probably the nearer you are to a metro area, the more apathetic and surly the kids get.

SD

[TXBubba]

Ahhh, Culver's Butter Burgers. My Yankee husband was never so thrilled when they opened stores in Texas.

[TXBubba]

Excuse me. That should have read "as when".

[DWSUWF]

"...That rant was F***ING FUNNY..."

Thanks.

And now, in the interests of fairness, an actual live report from the McDonalds front.

I had to take my youngest to the doctor today. Wife was busy catching up her work for the week, it fell to me to do. Antibiotics and bed-rest were the Doctor's orders.

The route home from the Doctor left only one easy lunch option, and you know what that was...

Yes, I could have gone out of my way to another joint, or fixed something myself at home, but I'm a sinful, lazy man...

Here's the rant vs. the reality...

1) The food tastes like crap.

Bingo! It was worse than usual.

2) It takes forever to get it.

Eight minutes, in a drive thru with no one ahead of me, standard fare. You be the judge.

3) When you do finally get your order, it's f*cked up...Every Time.

The order was correct. (Hey, when you're wrong, you're wrong...)

4) It gives you the running shits half the time you eat it.

The jury's still out on this one. I've got heartburn though. That bodes ill for later.

[tom paine 2]

How about using real cheese? How about provolone as an option? How about some tasty bacon or avacado on that burger? How about frying the fries in beef tallow? How about telling PETA and the Sierra Club to shove it? How about getting a pair and telling the corporate attorneys to take a hike?

[Alberta's Child]

That's very true. I've found that in many small towns the McDonald's is one of the more "respectable" places to eat.

The only problem with that place in Quebec was that the restroom was hard to find. I tried to ask the French girls where it was, but they couldn't understand what I was trying to say.

Finally I just grabbed my crotch and put a pained look on my face -- they giggled and pointed me in the right direction. LOL!

[stuck_in_new_orleans]

Hickok, who has four kids from 6 to 14, says one of his best barometers on McDonald's is through his kids. They've all have stopped asking him to go to McDonald's. "They prefer restaurants like Applebee's,"

Mr Hickok...your kids are dorks and Applebes sucks ass.

As for McDonalds, you can start by firing your rude, lazy, stupid, uneducated workers that probably make up 50-70% of your work force. I love the quarter pounder and the big mac (which will be .99 in januruary for 1 month only to compete with the .99 whopper) but I cant stand some rude punk acting like he has the worst job ever and sighs and sometimes dosent even speak english.

[SoothingDave]

The only problem with that place in Quebec was that the restroom was hard to find. I tried to ask the French girls where it was, but they couldn't understand what I was trying to say.

oooo eh la twaaa lett

SD

[Cagey]

but they couldn't understand what I was trying to say.

Oh, they understood you alright. I've found that most young people in Quebec understand English just fine, but it's just not PC to admit it.

[riri]

Mr Hickok...your kids are dorks and Applebes sucks ass. LOL. True about Appleby's. At least if I am going to eat chemically laden food that tastes really bad, it is going to be dirt cheap and include no tipping.

So kiddies, what's for lunch today? McDonald's, Burger King, Wendy's?

Father, you know we prefer Ruth Chris steak house.

WTF?

[PBRSTREETGANG]

Probably the nearer you are to a metro area, the more apathetic and surly the kids get.

That rule is generally true. (Although I think MTV has contributed to pockets of apathetic surly kids in certain rural areas as well.)

[Alberta's Child]

That's true in most big cities up there, but I've found that small towns are unusual in two ways: 1) English is less common, and 2) the people try harder to work with you even though they don't understand you.

I stopped once in a convenience store right up the road from St. Jean in the town of La Prairie (Mario Lemieux's hometown). Whenever I traveled up to Montreal I had always stopped in this same store to withdraw some Canadian cash from their ATM, but when I got there this time I found out that they didn't have an ATM anymore. I asked the kid behind the counter about the ATM.

I didn't speak a word of French, and the kid behind the counter never said a word in English, but after 30 seconds of "conversation" I somehow knew that I was supposed to walk across the parking lot to the new bank that had just been built next door. LOL.

[Flashman_at_the_charge]

Pick a path, get on it and stay on it. (My vote would be for a Retro McDonalds, with food so loaded with fat it could stop a bull T-Rex's heart in mid beat...)

FatBurger already do it. :-)

[Paulus Invictus]

Micky D could do us all a favor and close down permanently. Their food is awful, full of fat and cholesterol and their drinks are full of sugar. Of course, this could be said of all fast food suppliers, but MD wins the All Time Bad Food Award. My cardiologist said he and his colleagues love all fast food guys--- "MD et al have me me rich," he claims.

[DWSUWF]

Looks good. Like that name!

At the website I got bad news though...

We're sorry, we can't seem to find a Fatburger near this zip code.

Damn them...

[SamAdams76]

I would like to see beer served at McDonalds. Not just watered down Bud either, but good, strong beer on draft.

[Paulus Invictus]

There used to be a drive-in called Donnelly's in Glendale that had the best burger and malts in the known universe. To die for...but they went belly up. McD's finished them off.

[section9]

The problem with McDonald's is only partly with their food. Of greater import has been the somewhat sinister activities of their late employee, Ronald McDonald.....

One of the last pictures of Ronald McDonald, taken at the Reinhard Heydrich Memorial Anti-Zionist Demonstration. Late March, 2002.

Apparently McDonald, late of West Covina, CA, moved to the town of Nablus, in the Israeli-occupied West Bank, early last spring. There he opened up a McDonald's. However, despite his devotion to the Palestinian cause, it appears the some local competitors took offense at the presence of McDonald and his restaurant. These local Palestinians persuaded the local Hamas that McDonald was a Zionist spy.

McDonald's fate was sealed. Armed with automatic rifles, a flamethrower, and a white phosphorous grenade, two Hamas gunmen attacked McDonald as he was closing up shop. It is reported that the lead gunman administered the coup de gras to Mr. McDonald with a 9mm Makarov automatic pistol. Ronald McDonald's smoking, bullet-riddled corpse was found by an Israeli patrol the following morning.

Looks like McDonald's has more to worry about than some burnt fries. So to speak.

Be Seeing You,

Chris

[Cagey]

This young lady beat you to it, Sam. It's not Bud at least. I thought at first it was Old Milwaukee, but I don't think so. Any idea?

[Springman]

None by me either, well the wife wants to go the Birch Run outlet mall this weekend. There is a place, Tony's they make a BLT w/1#
of bacon on it. I think I'll take her!!