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If I weave around at night,
And the Police think I'm tight,
They never find my bottle - though they ask.
Plastic Jesus shelters me,
For His head comes off, you see
He's hollow, and I use Him for a flask.

Plastic Jesus! Plastic Jesus,
Riding on the dashboard of my car ...
Ride with me and have a dram
Of the blood of the Lamb -
Plastic Jesus is a holy bar.

Our rector actually preached a SERMON on this song once (our rector can't sing. We have threatened to throw an altar cloth over him on occasion.)

And when you've had enough to drink, you can play football with the empty!

Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goal-posts of life
End over end, neither left nor to right
Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goal-posts of life

Make me, oh make me, Lord, more than I am
Make me a piece in your master game plan
Free from the earthly tem-pestions below
I've got the will Lord, if you got the toe ...