The Ryan's Steakhouse Story

Sctick organization ^ | Anonymous

[M. Peach]

Has something similar happened to you?

[js1138]

All the Ryan's in our town have closed. Apparently they were contributing to the cause of stories like this.

[Lovergirl]

OMG, that HAS to be the funniest thing I have ever read. My eyes are tearing from laughing so hard.

[RANGERAIRBORNE]

This would be very funny, if I were 11 years old. Shit jokes were really a scream back then...

[SternTrek]

This is a hoot.

[Notforprophet]

Oh lighten up, Ranger!

Funniest damn thing I have read all day, Peach!

[goodseedhomeschool]

PEACH, that was the funniest thing i have read in a while. I still have tears from laughing.

[potlatch]

Has something similar happened to you?

IF IT HAD, I WOULD HAVE MOVED OUT OF TOWN!!

[M. Peach]

Read this if you want a gut wrenching laugh!

[evolved_rage]

BTTT....lol

[Fidgit]

My kinda read!!

[glory]

Amateurs! When you've had your gall bladder removed and ANY first morning meal stimulates your bowels, then you will learn to prepare ahead. People without this unfortunately frequent experience, do not understand when it's time to go, it is time to go!

[homeschool mama]

Glory: LOL...good thing gall bladder removal prompts different reactions in different patients. I don't have *that* problem.

Fidgit: You're a sick man...but I love ya!

[lentulusgracchus]

Peach, now that you've explained "the Move", the women will expect us to execute it flawlessly all the time! Thanks a lot! -- LOL!

Man, I've come close, but I've never had a bad night like that one! Takes the cake! (Er, so to speak!)

Better luck next trip!

[snopercod]

Well, there was the time I went deep sea fishing on a friend's 23' boat and got seasick. Both ends opened up as I lay across the bow of the boat with my pants down.

Most humiliating moment of my life...

[Rodney King]

One time on my boat (a Ranger 28 at the time), during an overnight race from Greenwich, CT, to New Haven CT and back, we hit some real rought weather. One of my crew decides he needs to take a dump. He goes down below, where of course one is more likely to get seasick. So anyway, he takes a dump. While pumping the head, he smells his dump, and then throws up all over the place. Needless to say, nobody else went down below after.

[Rodney King]

Stingray, I just posted about your brother.

[restornu]

A little humor for you!

[metesky]

Building a house on Nantucket in the winter of '88/'89, we spent the night carousing at the islands various watering holes.

Next morning, hung over like a fiend and totally dehydrated, I wandered out to the Compass Rose at the airport for a huge breakfast of sausage, eggs and potatoes, lots of coffee.

Driving back to the job site, still feeling dehydrated, I thought it would be a good idea to get a quart jug of Welch's White Grape Juice. Wrong!

I got to the site, laid out some work for the boys and suddenly it struck.

I jumped down from the second floor, streaked for my truck and headed for our rental house two blocks away.

I just got the door opened and rushed inside when the gates of hell opened up and I shat myself in a stream of foul semi-liquid goo. Down the hall toward the bathroom still going and fouling everything in my path.

I took all my clothes and threw them in the washing machine and naked swabbed and disinfected the kitchen, hallway, bathroom and cellar stairs before hitting the shower and cleaning myself up.

After getting my clothes out of the dryer, I redressed and went back to the site, berating the crew for having done so little in my absence.

Between embarassment and certain knowledge of the ribbing I would take, it took me over a month to fess up to what had actually happened.

[M. Peach]

I must compliment you on your writing style. You have the ability to paint vivid pictures with your attention to detail. Your story is also absolutely hilarious.

I must confess to a similar incident wherein I indulged in too much fruit juice as well. We were out camping and I suddenly realized that I had less than a minute to react to an overwhelming sensation quickly brewing in my belly. Unfortunately, I was more than 60 seconds away from the outhouse.

I must have resembled a penguin scurrying to the water when I suddenly stubbed my toe on a rock and you can guess what happened next. I'll leave that to your imagination.

Modesty prevents me from attempting to compete with your articulate narration.