What makes people happy ?

USA Today ^ | 12-9-2002 | Marilyn Elias

[Hillary's Lovely Legs]

What examples of "flow" can you find in your own life? How do they affect your level of satisfaction and happiness?

Consider your strengths. How do you incorporate them into your daily life? Do you agree with Csikszentmihalyi's assertion that "people feel best when doing what they do best"? Why or why not?

[Hillary's Lovely Legs]

May we all choose to be happy in the coming new year.

[BigBobber]

"Materialism is toxic for happiness," says University of Illinois psychologist Ed Diener. Even rich materialists aren't as happy as those who care less about getting and spending.

Then people in the Third World should be happy. How come they're not?

[Buffalo Head]

Didn't Abe Lincoln opine, "Most people are just about as happy as they choose to be."?

[latrans]

I try every day to live in the top of my happiness quotient.
I hope everyone does.

[Buffalo Head]

"Then people in the Third World should be happy. How come they're not?"

I believe that most folks happiness is in direct proportion to the amount of happieness they create for others.

[DaughterofEve]

Thanks, HLL!
The only thing I'd say, is I DO enjoy spending some time alone...but then again, maybe the key is "some" time. I probably enjoy it because so much else of my life is spent around throngs of people.
I like the story about the man who stayed home to look at his lit rock garden...I can appreciate that! That's how I feel about my pond and bird feeders, and I don't get to see enough of them sometimes!
HAPPY BLESSED NEW YEAR!

[Physicist]

It's easy to list the things that happy people do, but tough to say that doing these things will make people happy. While it may be true that happy people are less materialistic than unhappy people, it doesn't follow that "Materialism is toxic for happiness." It seems more likely that unhappy people will turn to acquisition as a form of solace.

I'm convinced that happiness is largely a function of personality (whether it's a result of nature or nurture I can't say). I'm one of those "naturally happy" people whose mood just defaults to being very happy unless something actively drags it down. It wasn't until I was married that I truly understood that not everybody is like that.

[Old Professer]

Life satisfaction occurs most often when people are engaged in absorbing activities that cause them to forget themselves, lose track of time and stop worrying. "Flow" is the term Claremont Graduate University psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi (pronounced cheeks-sent-mee-hi) coined to describe this phenomenon.

Man, with a name like that, this guy could get into any speakeasy in town.

[Old Professer]

I'm convinced that happiness is largely a function of personality (whether it's a result of nature or nurture I can't say). I'm one of those "naturally happy" people whose mood just defaults to being very happy unless something actively drags it down. It wasn't until I was married that I truly understood that not everybody is like that.

Just in case we don't hear from you in a while, does your wife lurk on FR?

[BigBobber]

Here's my point. Western materialism is much maligned by those who have a position of relative comfort - created by western materialism and capitalism. If you are starving, live in a hovel, or are afraid some government thugs will drag you away in the middle of the night, then you don't have the luxury of pondering whether materialism is "toxic" to happiness.

The materialistic drive that allowed the western world to rise up from the gutter, and leave the rest of the world far behind, is hard to turn off once you have achieved a level of comfort. This drive may become a source of envy and disappointment, since someone will always have something you don't have. But we should never forget the positive effects that materialism has on our world.

[Physicist]

does your wife lurk on FR?

She's registered under the name of "Mrs. Physicist". But in fact, it's the mood difference between us that makes our relationship work. I pull her up, she brings me back to reality. Together, we neither wallow in misery nor fiddle while Rome burns.

[Doctor Raoul]

Those who say money won't buy happiness don't know where to shop.

[Centurion2000]

Those who say money won't buy happiness don't know where to shop.

I've learned a couple of rules in life so far. The absence of money when somethin unexpected arrives (car repairs, doctor bills, etc.) makes an annoying situation into something much more stresfull.

Money does not buy happiness but it sure makes life's little bumps go by easier.

[LBGA]

This is a great article and a great message. There are many motivational stories about people who choose to be happy and positive, and it can be a learned response, I believe.

Some of us, like you Physicist, are naturally happy, but it still takes a conscious effort to decide not to let events outside of our control or people who want to hurt have no or little effect on us. I am one of those people everyone would hate in the morning. No matter what time I get up, which is usually very early, I am excited about the day and energetic and happy. That part is natural to me. Learning to stay focused and positive when events or actions beyond my control start to bring me down is harder. Living through eight years of Clinton was extremely hard for me. ;-)

This year I beat cancer, went through chemo and laughed and joked with friends and family that I hoped to have a crew cut by Christmas... which I have! My son is overseas right now, but I know it will be the happiest day of my life when he returns, which I have faith that he will.

Faith, to me, is what allows me to be happy no matter what. I have been blessed with so many good things in my life and all that befalls or befuddles me just makes me think something better is just around the corner. Of course, I still do have to work at it, but that is the joy... knowing it is there if I reach for it. I wish for every one of my FR friends this expectation of good things, and may the New Year bring all of you just that. :-)

[Searching4Justice]

yea but think of the problems when he orders pizza over the phone !!!

[Harmless Teddy Bear]

Didn't Abe Lincoln opine, "Most people are just about as happy as they choose to be."?

Within certain obvious limits yes that is right, if my family is freezing to death or hungry I am obviously not going to be happy about it.

Paul said it best, "Having food and clothing, be content."

Not happy mind you, but content, in other words don’t be bitter and resentful that others have more.

[Jhoffa_]

"Happiness is a thrice searched carry on.."

(joke.. )

[kaylar]

Those who say money won't buy happiness or love forgot all about little puppies.

[AppyPappy]

May we all choose to be happy in the coming new year.

How can you say that when so many people are sad? We should force ourselves to be sad so they won't feel sad about being sad.

[maxwell]

We should force ourselves to be sad so they won't feel sad about being sad.

BWAHAHA... Whoops, I meant to say I am deeply saddened.

[maxwell]

Well I went and actually took that stupid test, HLL, because I am sitting here waiting on my next data-acquisition phase, and I found out that I am a very generous humorous person. Well duh. I'm the one who'll take yer a$$ out to the bar after your no-'count woman dumps ya and buy you a beer whilst trying to make crude jokes about how you didn't need that beeatch anyhoo.

[hosepipe]

What "IS" happy ?..........

Humans are so complicated arriving at a simplististic definition is so easy. When posed with this question at different times in my life, I would come up with different answers. All well thought out, too.
__________________________________________________________
The thorns which I have reap’d are of the tree. I planted; they have torn me, and I bleed.I should have known what fruit would spring from such a seed.-Lord Byron

The world comes to us in an endless stream of puzzle pieces that we would like to think all fit together somehow, but that in fact never do - Robert Pirsig

There's always an easy solution to every human problem: neat, plausible, and wrong. Henry Louis Mencken

Always do right -- this will gratify some and astonish the rest Mark Twain
Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there. Will Rogers

[spectre]

Exactly, Centurion.

"I'd rather be miserable and rich, than miserable and poor". Although, I am neither at the moment.

For me, happiness is all about finally reaching my level of comfort. I'm satisfied.

sw

[anniegetyourgun]

Your story of this year for you is truly inspirational. Thanks for sharing. Joy is a different thing than happiness, eh?

[Iowa Granny]

Nice article, C. And very interesting reactions to it.

[timestax]

Happiness would be all the Clintoons/Rodhams,Dasholes,Gores,etc. exiled to Gillagins Island w/NO hope of rescue!!

[Hillary's Lovely Legs]

You have always been an inspiration. Bless you and a prayer for your good health.

[Aracelis]

Hmmm...the times that are consistantly pleasurable to me are the times I spend alone in my lab...

[summer]

Great post, Hillary. Happy New Year to you! :)

[Bloody Sam Roberts]

Then people in the Third World should be happy. How come they're not?

Because materialism isn't the simple act of owning material things. It is the quest for material things.

Perhaps they are happy. I'm sure there are some necessities that would make their lives easier but that may have no bearing on whether they are happy or not.

[PatrickHenry]

"To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentations of the women!"
-- Conan the Barbarian

[LBGA]

Oh gosh, I didn't mean to try to inspire, but I'm glad if I did. My point was that we have a choice to be happy or not.

My favorite story is one that circulated a couple of years ago about the restaurant owner who loved everyone and was greatly loved in turn. When he was shot, the doctor's gave him up for dead. Even though they thought he was unconscious, he was aware of what was going on and yelled at the doctor's to operate on him believing he would make it. They did, and he did. I just love that story because it says to never give up.

I think most people on FR are like that because to me it is a very conservative, personally responsible attitude about life, and of course, faith is the added element.

Joy is very different from happiness, Annie, and I had never thought about that until you mentioned it. Thank you.

[Pippin]

Me Too!

[Dianna]

Faith, to me, is what allows me to be happy no matter what. I have been blessed with so many good things in my life and all that befalls or befuddles me just makes me think something better is just around the corner.

I am a natural depressed worrier. I have to work at allowing God to take some of my burdens. It may be several times in an hour where I have to remind myself that I am not carrying THAT particular burden and find something else to occupy myself with.

I have been very, very blessed. I try to focus on that several times per day. Hoping one day it will become "routine" to feel as happy and peaceful as I ought to feel.

[LBGA]

Well, it's clear that not all of my brain cells have recovered. I hope they do come back with the rest of my hair. ;-)

The "doctors" didn't expect him to make it. (twice I did it!)! :-(

[LBGA]

Dianna, there must be some kind of chemical makeup within which makes some of us naturally happy most of the time and others more intense and worried. With my make-up it is a lot easier to have faith. I really do admire that you work so hard to overcome a natural tendency and to use your faith, and I am sure you will be rewarded for it. :-)

[litehaus]

"A man is happy as the number of things he can do without."

[edwin hubble]

While it may be true that happy people are less materialistic than unhappy people, it doesn't follow that "Materialism is toxic for happiness." It seems more likely that unhappy people will turn to acquisition as a form of solace.

Actually, studies worldwide show a strong tendency to 'default' to a certain moderate level of happiness. Rich or poor (materialistic or not, first world or fourth world) the pattern is the same. Most self-report being happy. There are only a few national exceptions (a couple of small countries with a pattern of low happiness). Probably a selected genetic tendency toward optimism.

[longshadow]

the times that are consistantly pleasurable to me are the times I spend alone in my lab...

Alone? Don't you bring "Fredinand the Ferret" with you?

[viaveritasvita]

Psychobabble if ever heard it. Borrowed from the Power of Positive Thinking movement of the...60's, I think (can't remember the author's name), which itself was probably borrowed from some previous don't worry, be happy movement and also have some Biblical principles, but without the Source, Jesus Christ. Why don't you send this article to the family of the missing pregnant woman? Happiness is an elusive, transitory feeling; contentment is attainable and sustainable.

[Fintan]

Well, since you asked...

[Aracelis]

Alone? Don't you bring "Fredinand the Ferret" with you?

She will be with me, but caged...until work is done. Then she can run and investigate. BTW, I still haven't thought of a suitable name.

[Hillary's Lovely Legs]

Silicone makes you happy?

[ValerieUSA]

Sounds like the commandments that begin with "Thou shalt not covet...." are the secret to happiness.

[cibco]

"Silicone makes you happy?"

I'll take two tubes please...

[Howlin]

Those who say money won't buy happiness don't know where to shop.

It makes a nice down payment on it.

[ASA Vet]

It certainly can.

[cmsgop]

Great Work Fintan! I can always count on you !

[cmsgop]

Is that an Alien ?