Replies

From the Iconoclast:

1. Fox TV's new reality show, The Incest Challenge, will become the year's top-rated television show, followed by CBS's new Wednesday night hit, CSI Cincinnati.

2. Mexico will announce the construction of a massive new "Gringo Wall" across its border with the U.S., to keep out illegal American immigrants trying to sneak into Mexico. As intended, everyone in the U.S. and Mexico will have a good laugh.

3. Al Gore will announce he is planning to run for governor of Florida in 2004. A mass emigration from Florida to other states will begin immediately.

4. Noam Chomsky will write his penultimate America-hating diatribe in The Nation -- "Fortress America, The Dung Heap of History" -- comparing the United States with Sparta and arguing that Spartans were a more peaceful people than Americans. Most insulting of all, he will argue that Spartans had a keener fashion sense, arguing that "tunics are so much more chichi than blue jeans or polyester pants."

5. James Brolin will ask for a divorce from wife Barbra Streisand, citing Bab's irreconcilable ego and "damn big nose."

6. Michael Jackson will dangle Sony executive Tommy Mottola from the window of a New York apartment building until Mottola reluctantly comes up with a new 35-million-dollar recording contract for the Demented One.

7. Pete Rose proudly travels to Cooperstown (Wyoming) to be inducted into the Gambler's Anonymous Hall of Fame.

8. The once-tight Friends cast will have a falling out over salary demands and end their popular TV series. But they'll return in a brand new prime-time NBC sitcom, Enemies.

9. Shaq O'Neil will put on another 100 pounds and will lumber down basketball courts on fast breaks in a golf cart. He will carry a lightweight aluminum ladder with him to help him still score his soaring gorilla dunks.

10. Eminem will confess to Barbara Walters that he is gay and that he has had a life-long crush on Elton John. For the first time ever, Barbara Walters will throw up in prime time.

"4. Noam Chomsky will write his penultimate America-hating diatribe in The Nation -- "Fortress America, The Dung Heap of History" -- comparing the United States with Sparta and arguing that Spartans were a more peaceful people than Americans. Most insulting of all, he will argue that Spartans had a keener fashion sense, arguing that "tunics are so much more chichi than blue jeans or polyester pants."

Hey!!!!