Replies

My mother (arg...) and my sister bought into the "you can have it all" FemiNazi B.S. that started in the 60's. Mom jettisoned my wonderful dad when I was 11 years old, telling him "I don't need you anymore!" when she earned her master's degree (which he paid for).

Sister married her college sweetheart (a decent fellow) and immediately put him LAST, because of course getting a Ph.D. from U.C. Berkley (gag) and "My Career!" came first. 25 years later, she's divorced and remarried to an unemployed BUM, and has had 2 out of her 4 children wind up in juvenile detention. Yeah, that "have it all" bullsh*t really paid off, didn't it?

I never bought into that FemiNazi tripe(don't exactly know why, either--LOL)-- I always thought getting married, supporting hubby's career, and having babies was a perfectly honorable way to live my life. (Of course, mom and sister were horrified by this......) 25 years later I have a wonderful hubby who shows me the utmost respect and (as my friends tell me) was a "great catch". (LOL)

I feel like I've done a good job as a mother because my 14 year old daughter wants to get married "when I grow up" and wants to stay home to raise her "four children". Put that together with daughter knowing the importance of dating/marrying another Catholic, I'm not worried she'll end up like the perpetually unhappy and single sluts on "Sex in the City."

Somehow I ended up "having it all" (nice family, professional career)--but I think I got there primarily because I put hubby, daughter and family life FIRST, not the other way around.

By the way, there are a lot of "good men" left. But the good men are NOT interested in "Sex in the City" style sluts, and don't like to be with ball-busting single women who lead promiscuous, unhappy lives.

Your post is right on the money.

However, most women (and men) don’t realize that successful marriages are usually those where the couple grows and achieves together, rather than before marriage. Once a man or woman has achieved a certain level in life, marriage is no longer looked upon from the perspective of what can be gained from it, but of what can be lost from it.

That is where I am, and many other men. We are no longer willing to make the compromises and sacrifices necessary for a successful marriage, and are left with those same "Sex in the City" types to choose from, of which we say "No thanks", and are called women-haters for our trouble.

Women need to understand and accept that if they don't get us when we are young, odds are, you won't get us at all, because after a lifetime of building a career and lifestyle, you are not going to find too many of us willing to take the risk of losing it all over a woman, when there are so many available for temporary amusement.

Good for you, and God Bless you. My wonderful wife is a "Southern Belle" whose GPA was better than mine. She is an electrical engineer. She "has it all" too, but she and I BOTH had a good understanding of each other before we got hitched.

After 6 months, I asked her to marry me. We promptly had a discussion about religion, parenting styles, and important decisions to be made down the line. To my delight, she gave ME the tie-breaker vote on tough calls. But I've NEVER had to use it, because we talk about stuff, and I don't always have to have my own way. Lots of men (including me) are just stubborn enough that if a woman insists she be in charge, we won't let her. If she doesn't insist, we don't care so much.

Women who don't need men don't understand that when men see that attitude, we walk away, thinking, "Ok. So you don't need me. I'll find someone who does. Have a nice life."