Ann loses job; was generosity a reason?(Surprisingly candid article)

Dallas Morning Snooze ^ | 1/12/03 | steve blow

[Diddle E. Squat]

Here's a question to ponder: Are we too generous?

Let's mull that one today while catching up with Ann Love.

Ann is the young woman we have been following for the last few months as she tries to move from welfare to work.

Ann is 27 and the mother of two boys, ages 5 and 7. Their father is in prison for murder. Ann has lived in public housing and pretty much depended on government programs since they were born.

When we last visited with Ann, she had completed a job-readiness program and had gone to work in a South Dallas restaurant. But neither she nor the restaurant owner was very happy with things.

And sure enough, early last month, Ann was fired.

"I was so relieved!" she confessed last week. "That job just wasn't for me. They say you learn from your experiences, so now I know – I'll never work in a restaurant again."

Ann was in a jovial mood. Just the night before she had started another job-skills program offered by the STEP Foundation. And she learned that the top students would get office jobs next month at a mortgage-processing company.

"I'm going to get one of those jobs because I have confidence in myself," Ann proclaimed, perhaps to herself as much as me.

I didn't want to ruin her mood – or shake her self-confidence – but there was something ticklish I wanted to discuss with Ann.

Her restaurant job was at Lady Di's, owned by Diane Thomas. Mrs. Thomas grew up in Dallas public housing herself and knows all about hard work.

I had asked Mrs. Thomas why Ann wasn't doing well on the job. I didn't expect the answer I got.

"Too much has been given to her," Mrs. Thomas said. "She hasn't had to work for it. And when people are given too much, it makes them lazy."

Gingerly, I raised that issue with Ann last week. She seemed shocked. "So she's trying to say I'm spoiled? I wish!"

Well, I don't think anyone would confuse Ann Love with Anna Nicole Smith. But on the other hand, Ann has gone years without working and never once lacked the necessities of life.

I thought of that verse from Proverbs: "The laborer's appetite works for him; his hunger drives him on."

What hunger has there been to drive Ann on?

She certainly puts a high priority on providing for her boys. But as she had told me earlier, when talking about being fired, "My boys still had a good Christmas – a real good Christmas."

Indeed, they did. Thanks to the generosity of social-service agencies in town and one church, the boys were showered with gifts. Her oldest had asked for a jam box and got two.

Just for the sake of discussion, I asked Ann whether she would have worked harder at that restaurant job if she had known her sons' whole Christmas depended on her.

She thought a minute. "Probably," she said.

Are we too generous? Do we sometimes foster laziness?

"For some people, yes," Ann said. "But I'm not like that."

And she does make a case that she has shown initiative – in getting her GED, in taking computer training in the past, in starting job training again last week.

She said she would have been working all along if not for her son's illness. Her 5-year-old has sickle cell anemia. When he was younger, repeated sickness prevented her from working, she said. Now he's better, and she's eager to work.

Are we too generous? Sometimes so, it seems clear.

But maybe it's also that we are lazy in our generosity.

We let government give in big, blanket sorts of ways rather than working to meet specific needs in meaningful, personal ways.

And we find it much easier to give things than to give opportunity.

Ann is hoping for another opportunity. We'll see if things get in the way.

[Elsie]

My wife stays home, raises our son, so you could say I'm "paying" one entire income for daycare - should the government working stiffs, having money taken from them under threat, pay me for that?

[lepton]

But maybe it's also that we are lazy in our generosity.

We let government give in big, blanket sorts of ways rather than working to meet specific needs in meaningful, personal ways.

THIS is one of two main reasons that "government charity" CANNOT work. The other is that the government uses rules and laws, not judgement in dispersing "charity".

This, even beyond that taking at the end of a gun isn't charity.

[WaterDragon]

The woman may be a little ditzy, but her son did have a life-threatening illness and with her skill level, welfare was the route to medical care. Besides, he needed her care. I think she did the right thing, and is doing the right thing now, however imperfectly.

Are we too generous? Well, first of all, when we give to charity, we are the first recipients of the blessings of those gifts.

[litehaus]

"However I disagree with your statement about unemployment. I've drawn unemployment several times in my life but I had to pay unemployment tax while working so I feel it's something I worked for. "

Been out of the work force for years now, but, back then the employer paid for THAT, not the employee.......Has it changed?

[lepton]

Those on welfare should be required to work in free daycare centers for taxpayers. ( just a thought)

And we should entrust our children to such why?

[No Truce With Kings]

"I hope Steve Blow doesn't catch too much flak for this article. Given the dynamics, such a candid column is all too rare in today's newspapers."

Actually, it is pretty typical for Steve Blow. He is a moderate liberal, the type I appreciate as a "loyal opposition." When I lived closer to Dallas, I subscribed to the Dallas Morning News (aka DaMN). He, Jacqulyn Floyd, and another metro columnist were always worth reading, even when I disagreed. I often would e-mail them, and generally get cordial responses, even given disagreements. (Of course, my responses never started "Steve, you idiot. . .")

If all liberals were like Blow, we would have a better Democrat party, a stronger Republican party (because a good opposition forces you to sharpen your arguements), and a better country.

[lepton]

Been out of the work force for years now, but, back then the employer paid for THAT, not the employee...

not that there's a LOT of difference. It comes out of an employees compensation.

[danelectro]

Where's the Dad?

read the article.

[bvw]

Some guy who once or more times shoved his thing up hers is in prison for murder, I saw. So again, I ask, where's the Dad?

[Republic of Texas]

Steve Blow is a typical liberal. He is actually suprised to learn that people get lazy when everything is handed to them. The same way Time magazine was shocked to learn men and women are different.

[RepoGirl]

But I'm strong
Strong enough to carry him
He ain't heavy, he's my brother

Well, if I derived my world philosophy from pop songs, we'd be in HEAP BIG TROUBLE Byron...

The thing is, yeah... it's easy to wring your hands about the plight of all the 'children' who are dependent on sh*t-*ss parents, but there are a whole lot of them out there, buddy boy--a whole lot. And while one or two aren't that heavy, a whole mess of them are.

And, in fact... my own brother would be pretty heavy, since he's about 200 lbs. I'd still rather just carry him than some nameless 'for the children' casualty.

Don't get me wrong, charity is fine--within moderation. Otherwise, too much breeds entitlement and laziness.

[bvw]

You saw that case last week in Jersey, Newark, with the starved dead boy stuffed in the trashbasket?

Everyone in Jersey is in an uproar over it. Why? Because DYFS failed.

What BS. Who gives a sh!t about DYFS and social workers. One thing was missing in that terrible, sad, tragic case. Same as this one.

The Dad.

[vaudine]

Another mother with the exact history, minus the sick child would more than likely have had the same attitude to work. I speak as someone who worked with govt. programs through the Empl.Off. for sixteen years. Having had housing, food, medical, and spending money for years, and having been home watching their tv programs and munching out on free food for years, why in the h@#@ would they want to get up and out into the weather at an early time, work a job they hate, and take orders to essentialy live no better than they did on welfare.
The big liberal belief that EVERYONE deserves their own space, food, medical, and throw in a car, cigarettes and a tv without benefit of effort just because the "rich" (read workers)have these items has ruined our country. I had a woman who was attractive, HS grad, two illegitimate
children and lived in public housing, drew food stamps, medicaid, the whole thing. Her longtime boyfriend was employed at a large mfg. with good benefits and they cohabited (against the law, but unenforced). They and their children had really nice clothes;he drove a new car.She was smart and really wanted to learn a skill and get out of the house, but they couldn't "afford" it. She brought much more in by being on welfare with the housing, FS, medical, etc. thrown in. How many young single moms have all the needs met and still have a couple hundred left over for spending money (the welfare cash payment.)
Welfare reform has helped a little, long may it live.

vaudine

[aculeus]

Nothing like reading the lyrics of a deservedly forgotten pop tune. If inanity is the objective someone should now post the lyrics to MacArthur Park.

[Republic of Texas]

My business crashed after 9/11, I'm a Realtor, and I got a job waiting tables for a year to get through it. It's not that there aren't ANY jobs, there are just a shortage of jobs that spoiled people are WILLING to take.

[Republic of Texas]

Actually, the right thing to do was NOT have the kid in the first place. I'm sure when the murderer impregnated her it wasn't with the idea of a lifelong commitment to her and the kids.

What kind of people think so little of themselves and their family? People bred on generations of welfare, that's what kind.

[Redbob]

Or, as I said:
"And whose paycheck should these programs come out of - someone who made the decision not to have children, for instance?"

[BlueLancer]

Ask and ye shall receive .. and probably regret asking in the first place ...

Spring was never waiting for us, girl
It ran one step ahead
As we followed in the dance
Between the parted pages and were pressed,
In love's hot, fevered iron
Like a striped pair of pants

CHORUS
MacArthur's Park is melting in the dark
All the sweet, green icing flowing down...
Someone left the cake out in the rain
I don't think that I can take it
'cause it took so long to bake it
And I'll never have that recipe again
Oh, no!

I recall the yellow cotton dress
Foaming like a wave
On the ground around your knees
The birds, like tender babies in your hands
And the old men playing checkers by the trees

CHORUS

There will be another song for me
For I will sing it
There will be another dream for me
Someone will bring it
I will drink the wine while it is warm
And never let you catch me looking at the sun
And after all the loves of my life
After all the loves of my life
You'll still be the one.

I will take my life into my hands and I will use it
I will win the worship in their eyes and I will lose it
I will have the things that I desire
And my passion flow like rivers through the sky.
And after all the loves of my life
After all the loves of my life
I'll be thinking of you
And wondering why.

MacArthur's Park is melting in the dark
All the sweet, green icing flowing down...
Someone left the cake out in the rain
I don't think that I can take it
'cause it took so long to bake it
And I'll never have that recipe again
Oh, no!
Oh, no
No, no
Oh NO!! (upon which Harris suffers an irreversible gender change)

[Redbob]

"Been out of the work force for years now, but, back then the employer paid for THAT, not the employee.......Has it changed?"

It's like this: part of your compensation is the "tax" paid on your behalf directly to the government; it comes from the same till asyour paycheck, it comes as a result of your labors, it's "your" money.

If Big Brother didn't have his hand out,with a gun pointed at your employer's head, that money would have been paid to YOU.

[WaterDragon]

You could be right. However, when you are talking about a living breathing human being, what's the point of saying he shouldn't have been born? He was. That is the reality under discussion.