Top Guns call signs not so cool

Reuters ^ | 2-05-03 | Paul Casciato

[Jimmyclyde]

Top Guns call signs not so cool

By Paul Casciato ABOARD USS CONSTELLATION (Reuters) - They fly the hottest fighter jets emblazoned with names like "Deuce" and "Psycho" but unlike the Tom Cruise movie in which pilot "Iceman" earned his moniker for being cool under fire most labour under less fetching call signs.

In the wardroom below decks of one of the oldest aircraft carriers in the U.S. Navy, an F-14 Navy fighter pilot who for safety reasons would only identify himself by his call sign "Winkle", stood the notion of cool nicknames on its head.

"There are three ways you can get call signs, one is a play on your name, another is you have a grotesque physical feature and the last is if you screw something up so badly everyone remembers you for it," the 28-year-old told Reuters.

He said he got his own as a play on his name.

"Creepy" is an example of the unlucky screw-up, gaining his call sign at a fellow flier's wedding, where a little too much champagne had him embarrassingly trying to chat up the groom's sister.

"People said 'man, he is acting really creepy tonight' and that was it," he said.

Winkle said even he was taken aback by the story behind the call sign of a female F-18 fighter pilot named "Psycho".

"I thought it was pretty cool until I found out it meant 'Please Shut Your Cake Hole' because she talked too much," he said.

Winkle also blasted another myth about real life as a top Navy pilot, saying maintenance and the number of planes to pilots meant they hardly ever flew jets labelled with their own name.

"Everybody gets their name on a plane, but it is very rare that you actually fly the plane with your name on it," he said.

"Catdog", a 27-year old Naval Flying Officer from Canton, Ohio, said his squadron gave him his call sign the minute he walked through the door because they already had the name and had decided to give it to the first person to appear.

"It was waiting for me at the squadron," he said. "Luckily, it's not associated with a bad story like many of the other call signs."

So beware if you're a budding fighter pilot with a big nose because the relatively benign "Beaker" is already taken as are "Stiffy", "Tattoo" and "Stinky" aboard the Constellation as it patrols the Gulf to back up Washington's tough stance against Iraq.

The 41-year-old Constellation, affectionately called "Connie" by the crew, is on its last mission and is due to be de-commissioned when it returns to San Diego later this year.

But it may have a job to do before that, and, crewmembers on Wednesday were anxiously awaiting news of U.S. Secretary of State Colin Powell's report to the U.N. Security Council, which is expected to provide evidence that the United States says shows Iraq is hiding its programmes to develop weapons of mass destruction. Iraq denies the charges.

[Jimmyclyde]

Winkle said even he was taken aback by the story behind the call sign of a female F-18 fighter pilot named "Psycho".

"I thought it was pretty cool until I found out it meant 'Please Shut Your Cake Hole' because she talked too much," he said.

LOL

[Jimmyclyde]

BTTT

[Boot Hill]

I don't know about call signs, but my fighter pilot cousin used to run around with a tee shirt emblazoned with: "A MiG at 6 O'clock is better that no MiG at all!"

--Boot Hill

[redbaiter]

where a little too much champagne had him embarrassingly trying to chat up the groom's sister.

And the problem is...?

[TomB]

"Stinky"

Ouch.

[SkyPilot]

Mine was "Hammer."

Don't ask.

[Tijeras_Slim]

Gonna have to ask my stepdad how he got "Mongoose".

[Kozak]

My squadron C.O.'s was "Budda". And not because of his inscrutability, more based on his physique...

[AnAmericanMother]

My husband's was "Baby Huey". Don't ask.

[Kozak]

We also had a Goofy. He had a summer job at Disneyland in college...

[Poohbah]

OK, I won't ask.

I served with "Skeet" (only helicopter pilot in 'Nam to bag a MiG--he was picking up a Force Recon team from near Haiphong when a MiG-17 came straight at him, so he ripple-fired his entire load of rockets at it and bagged it like he was at the skeet range), "Nickel" (a play on his last name, Wood), "Gazelle" (so named from his days as a young 1stLt, leaping from table to table in the O Club), "Cans" (from his habit of shouting "CAN!" and throwing an ampty beer can into the ceiling fan).

Takes all kinds to make a Marine Air Wing...

[Junior]

The 41-year-old Constellation, affectionately called "Connie" by the crew,

Called "Connie" by the brass. The folks I've met off her refer to her as the "Constipation."

[alpowolf]

I served aboard the U.S.S. Truxtun (CGN-35) in the early '80s. Said ship was frequently in the Constellation's battle group. We always referred to her as the "Constipation", usually with varying foul modifiers.

Of course we did that with all of the Bird Farms we steamed with.

[Sandmansleeper]

My father-in-law, deceased, an US infantry NCO in WWII earned the nickname "stinky" after he dove into a cesspool to take cover under fire by German solders.

He was just one of those many thousands of unsung heroes that fought their way from France(D-Day) to the heart of Germany, killing as many enemy as they could and witnessing the horrors of the concentration camps.

How he received his nickname, was one of the few things he could laugh about concerning his WWII experiencies.

[Salgak]

Did he fly B-52's on Guam ??? We had a "Baby Huey" in the 69th BMS. My callsign was "Mutant", and worst of all, my best buddy's callsign was "Slutpuppy". . .

[Robe]

Ok, I guess it’s time......
My favorite joke envolved a guy looking for the perfect pet.......
He went to all the usual pet shops and saw snakes, rabbits, fish , etc. Almost giving up he
visited one last pet shop.
Upon entering , and being queried by the owner, he replied he was looking for a most
interesting pet.
The owner replied” Hey I have a talking parrot”
Guy: “ I seen all the parrots I can handle, I want a pet that’s a conversation piece”
Owner: “I know what you mean, but this parrot can actually hold a conversation with
you”
Guy :” Really?, That would be unique”
Owner:”Hey,come on I’ll show him to you, I have him in the back room”
So off they go to the back room ,when half way there the owner says:” Well there is
something I do need to tell you”
Guy: “ I knew it, there’s always a catch”, What’s his problem?
Owner : Well, He doesn’t have any legs”
Guy: Dam, how does he stand on his perch?”
Owner: Well: ya see he wraps his Robedeau around the perch, it seems to work for him”
Guy: Dam, that is unusual, heck I’ll take him”
Well he takes the parrot home , sets him up in the living room and leaves on a business
trip.
Upon returning home, he no sooner gets in the door and the parrot says,( you gotta
understand that the parrot speaks with a Brooklyn accent )“Hey, come over hea”
Owner:” Who Me?
Parrot: “Yeah, yous, I wanna talk at ya”
Owner:”What do you want”
Parrot: Just thought you should know dat ya wife had a dude in here”
Owner:” What, My wife ?.....
Parrot: “Oh yeah, theys waz havin drinks on da couch”
Owner:” My wife with a man?, What happened”
Parrot: Well she took his clothes off !”
Owner:” What ?” (Louder now) What happened”?
Parrot: “He took her clothes off”
Owner:” What, my wife was naked with another man?, What happened next?”
Parrot: “ I don’t know, I got a hard on and fell off the perch”

Hence, My call sign was ( and still is ) Robe !!!!!

‘

[Robe]

Ok, I guess it’s time......
My favorite joke envolved a guy looking for the perfect pet.......
He went to all the usual pet shops and saw snakes, rabbits, fish , etc. Almost giving up he
visited one last pet shop.
Upon entering , and being queried by the owner, he replied he was looking for a most
interesting pet.
The owner replied” Hey I have a talking parrot”
Guy: “ I seen all the parrots I can handle, I want a pet that’s a conversation piece”
Owner: “I know what you mean, but this parrot can actually hold a conversation with
you”
Guy :” Really?, That would be unique”
Owner:”Hey,come on I’ll show him to you, I have him in the back room”
So off they go to the back room ,when half way there the owner says:” Well there is
something I do need to tell you”
Guy: “ I knew it, there’s always a catch”, What’s his problem?
Owner : Well, He doesn’t have any legs”
Guy: Dam, how does he stand on his perch?”
Owner: Well: ya see he wraps his Robedeau around the perch, it seems to work for him”
Guy: Dam, that is unusual, heck I’ll take him”
Well he takes the parrot home , sets him up in the living room and leaves on a business
trip.
Upon returning home, he no sooner gets in the door and the parrot says,( you gotta
understand that the parrot speaks with a Brooklyn accent )“Hey, come over hea”
Owner:” Who Me?
Parrot: “Yeah, yous, I wanna talk at ya”
Owner:”What do you want”
Parrot: Just thought you should know dat ya wife had a dude in here”
Owner:” What, My wife ?.....
Parrot: “Oh yeah, theys waz havin drinks on da couch”
Owner:” My wife with a man?, What happened”
Parrot: Well she took his clothes off !”
Owner:” What ?” (Louder now) What happened”?
Parrot: “He took her clothes off”
Owner:” What, my wife was naked with another man?, What happened next?”
Parrot: “ I don’t know, I got a hard on and fell off the perch”

Hence, My call sign was ( and still is ) Robe !!!!!

‘

[Robe]

Sorry for the double post, I washed my hands this morning and can't do a thing with 'em

[Eric in the Ozarks]

My dad's call sign was "Dad." He was a civilian C-46 pilot in the China-Burma-India Campaign and too old to "step forward," so he went as a civilian. "DAD" was also a play on his initials.

[MindBender26]

When Steve Ritchie, only Blue Suiter ace pilot in RVN got two Mig 21s in one day, his call sign was "Paula Lead" as in leader of the Paula flight.

So much for macho call signs.....

I was Di Ui Map, pronounced Die Wee Mohp. Vietnameese for "Captain Large (Fat)."

USAF = One of the finest paramilitary organizations in the world.