GERTZ: Marine Gunfight Rules

The Washington Times ^ | February 7, 2003 | Bill Gertz and Rowan Scarborough

[RicocheT]

With U.S. military forces ready for war with Iraq, troops around the nation are preparing to ship out for the Middle East. The Marines have taken a lighter look at some rules of ground combat, and we obtained a copy of them.

Among the 24 rules are such gems as, No. 1: "Bring a gun. Preferably, bring at least two guns. Bring all of your friends who have guns," and, No. 2, "Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap. Life is expensive."

Rule No. 7 is: "In 10 years nobody will remember the details of caliber, stance, or tactics. They will only remember who lived." And No. 8: "If you are not shooting, you should be communicating, reloading and running."

Rule No. 10 addresses a worst-case scenario: "Someday someone may kill you with your own gun, but they should have to beat you to death with it because it is empty." And No. 11: "Always cheat; always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose."

As for prisoners, the rule is: Be careful. No 18: "Watch their hands. Hands kill. (In God we trust. Everyone else, keep your hands where I can see them)."

And advice for warriors in combat, Nos. 21 and 22: "Be polite. Be professional. But have a plan to kill everyone you meet. Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one."

In a dig at other services, the Marines offer this: "U.S. Navy rules: 1. Adopt an aggressive offshore posture. 2. Send the Marines. 3. Drink Coffee."

Army rules: "Show up after fight to provide security and help hand out food to all of the displaced civilians."

Air Force rules: "Watch this all on cable in a BOQ [Bachelor Officers´ Quarters] while drinking a beer."

[where's_the_Outrage?]

And to add to it as I understand the Department of Transportation is sending assets to the Middle East:

God Bless the Coast Guard

[Billthedrill]

Yup. I'd add a version of 21 that I first read in Donald Hamilton: "always call them 'sir.' It greases the social skids and it doesn't make them one bit more bulletproof."

[Shooter 2.5]

I read a lot of quotes and one that fits is from my memory so I don't know who said it first or the exact quotation:

"When you're leading someone to the gallows, it doesn't hurt to be polite."

[dts32041]

Murphy's Rules for Combat

 

• 01. Military intelligence is a contradiction of terms.

• 02. A sucking chest wound is Nature's way of telling you to slow down.

• 03. When you have secured an area, don't forget to tell the enemy.

• 04. The problem with taking the easy way out, is that the enemy has already mined it.
  05. The buddy system is essential to your survival. It gives the enemy somebody else to shoot at.

• 06. Never draw fire, it irritates everyone around you.

• 07. No combat ready unit ever passed an inspection.

• 08. No inspection ready unit ever passed combat

• 09. Make it too tough for the enemy to get in and you can't get out.

• 10. Fortify your front and you'll get your rear shot up.

• 11. If you can't remember, the claymore is pointed towards you.

• 12. All five second grenade fuses are three seconds, or all five second fuses will burn out in three.

• 13. If it flies, it dies.

• 14. Cavalry doesn't always come to the rescue.
  15. Peace is our profession, mass murder's just a hobby.

• 16. Killing for peace is like whoring for virginity.
  17. There's always a way.

• 18. It's not the one with your name on it, it's the round addressed "to whom it may concern" ya gotta think about.

• 19. If you can keep your head while those around you are losing theirs, you may have misjudged the situation.

• 20. If two things are required to make something work, they will never be shipped together.

• 21. Anything you do can get you shot, including nothing.
  22. Whenever you lose contact with the enemy, look behind you.

• 23. The most dangerous thing in the combat zone is an officer with a map.

• 24. The quartermaster has only two sizes, too large and too small.

• 25. If you really need an officer in a hurry, take a nap.

• 26. There is nothing more satisfying than having someone take a shot at you, and miss.

• 27. If your sergeant can see you, so can the enemy.

• 28. You'll only remember your hand grenades when the sound is too close to use them.

[Pilsner]

29. Friendly fire isn't.

[dts32041]

You forgot HG Stine, but these things have been floating around since at least 2000 BC, different weapons though.

[Shooter 2.5]

30. Tracers work both ways.

[Shooter 2.5]

I don't know who HG Stine is but you are correct. There have been variations of the same quotes down through the ages.

[Pilsner]

31. If the enemy is in range, so are you.

[packrat01]

Incoming rounds always have Right-of-Way.
Tracers work both ways.
Murphy was an optimist.

[TheErnFormerlyKnownAsBig]

I think the Coasties just got transferred to the Homeland Security department.

[archy]

Archy's Rule: Once you pull the pin, Mr. Grenade is no longer your friend.

[steveegg]

Considering the historical Marine aversion to wasted ammo, I'm a bit surprised to see rule #2.

[steve-b]

No. 11: "Always cheat; always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose."

"We hardly need the strength of thirty
When we can win by fighting dirty
Cha-cha-cha."

[Atlas Sneezed]

These seemed a little out of place in their tone and message:

15. Peace is our profession, mass murder's just a hobby.
16. Killing for peace is like whoring for virginity.

[Atlas Sneezed]

31. If the enemy is in range, so are you.

Unless the enemy is armed with an M16, G36, or the like (.223), and you have an old fashioned Garand, M14, G3, or the like (.308).

[packrat01]

Still a friend, but one you want to introduce to your enemies. You want them to be bosom buddies.

[jdege]

http://usmilitary.about.com/library/miljokes/blmarinesalute.htm

Marines Farewell Salute

I sat, as did millions of other Americans, and watched as our government underwent a peaceful transition of power. I was proud as Mr. Bush took his oath of office.

I was sad as I watched Mr. Clinton board Air Force One for the final time. It may surprise you that this made me sad, but watching this part of the days festivities, I saw 21 United States Marines in full dress, with M-16s, fire a 21 gun salute to the outgoing President.

It was then that I realized how far America's military had deteriorated....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  Every last one of them missed.

[VOA]

bump

[MHGinTN]

MHG's rule for fire fights: Crush the enemy, then disarm any survivors.