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"If I Were the President"
(To be sung to the Four Tops' "If I were a Carpenter...")

If I were the President...and you hurt my Nation...
Would you label me IGNORANT?! Why'd you label Bush IGNORANT?!!**
Won't you bite me, Medyuh?!!
If I'd SLAUGHTERED Waco's kids...would you still love me?
Ohhhh...considerin' the necks I'd break...don't reckon you'd like me much...

[To Slick Willie hisself]
SHAME on you fer Kosovo...SHAME on you fer Waco!!
Boy, now yer dealin' with Justice Time...MUD'll haunt all yer tomorrows!!
If I sang accross this Land...could ya still IGNORE ME?!
I'm tellin' ya, Billie, "RUSH IS GOOD!!"
I'd love you to LOATHE ME!!!

If I wuz a Builder...could Left's thugs find me?!
We'll overthrow Vile DemocRATS...
SIC SEMPER TYRANNIS!!!
If I were the Governor...and you were a lady...
Well, now...would ya deny me, silly wench?! Won'tcha ICE THAT DOWN, BABY!?!

If I were the President, and you were my Jewel...
Now, would ya Kiss My Flame? (Would you, Fragile Flame?)**
Won'tcha love me, lady?!

OuterBanksMUDrevisited...9/18/01

"Eve Of Destruction"
(By that Good Ol' Lefty GoPatGoer, Barry McGuire)

The eastern world it is explodin',
Violence flarin', bullets loadin'!!
You're old enough to kill but not for votin',
You don't believe in war, what's that gun you're totin'?!
And even the Jordan River has bodies floatin'...

But you tell me over and over and over again, my FRiend,
Ah, you don't believe we're on the Eve of Destruction.

Don't you understand, what I'm trying to say?
Can't you feel the fears I'm feeling today?
If the button is pushed, there's no running away,
There'll be no one to save with the world in a grave,
Take a look around you, boy, it's bound to scare you, boy, and you tell me...

But you tell me over and over and over again, my FRiends,
Ah, you don't believe we're on the Eve of Destruction.

Yeah, my blood's so mad, feels like coagulatin',
I'm sittin' here, just contemplatin',
I can't twist the truth, it knows no regulation,
Handful of Senators don't pass legislation,
And marches alone can't bring integration,
When human respect is disintegratin',
This whole crazy world is just too frustratin', and you tell me...

Over and over and over again, my FRiends,
Ah, you don't believe we're on the Eve of Destruction.

Think of all the hate there is in Red China!
Then take a look around to Selma, Alabama!
Ah, you may leave here, for four days in space,
But when your return, it's the same old place,
The poundin' of the drums, the pride and disgrace,
You can bury your dead, but don't leave a trace,
Hate your next-door-neighbour, but don't forget to say grace, and you tell me...

Over and over and over again, my FRiends,
Ah, you don't believe we're on the Eve of Destruction...
Ah, you don't believe we're on the Eve of Destruction.

FReegards...MUD