The New Stupidity

http://alec.unitedstates.com/ ^ | March 3, 2003 | Alec Mouhibian

[E.G.C.]

BTTT!!!!!!!

[listenhillary]

You are an exeptional individual. I hope there are more 17 and 18 year olds like you out there.

This should be broken up into a number of different essays. Then edit, edit, edit and edit some more. Slash the fluff. When a simple word will do, use it.

[PGalt]

Outstanding! Bravo! Excelsior! Keep it coming Alec.

[cardinal4]

Did you go to public school?? LOL Just kidding your vocabulary and writing are very good. You're leanings are correct, too!

[StriperSniper]

Bump for later.

[BraveMan]

Don't you wish we were this focued at seventeen?

[AAABEST]

It's nice that you're using your head and all, but who is going to take the time to read all of that? If you looking for advice (which I'm not qualified to give), uou can spend much less energy and accomplish much more.

Example: Someone pinches your wife on the ass. You could a. Take 2 hours to converse about human interaction and explain how thoughout history we've developed voluntary protocols that dictate his actions as counter productive (in which case he laughs and continues his a$$hole behavior) or b. Take 2 seconds to punch his two front teeth out (In which case he immediately discontinues his a$$hole behavior, most likely on a permanent basis).

I dont' know if that makes any sense. Like I said, I'm not much in the advice department. Good luck anyway.

[BraveMan]

[Thesarus in hand]

Loquatious, to be sure. Enough clever and amusing analogies to keep ME smirking for at least a fortnight . . .

Merde! You had to know this would play well here. If this piece is some sort of assignment, you should ace it. I fear you won't, however, for two reasons . . .

1. The length and breadth of the dissertation will likely be too much for your teacher to absorb and will result in the "keep it pithy" comments you see here, or . . .

2. Your liberal instructor will be so disemboweled by the utter and complete disassembly of his/her ideology by this article, he/she will (out of spite and malice) simply lay the charge of incoherence on the piece, scribbling all over the manuscript for good measure.

My opinion? In a word, outstanding. I've added it to my bookmarks . . .

[BraveMan]

er, focued = focused . . . *sheesh*

[shetlan]

Fresh ideas. Nice style. Subtle humor.

I enjoyed your essay.

[VRWCmember]

I am a eighteen-year-old high school senior. Comments appreciated.

Alec,
I didn't read your dissertation in its entirety, but rather skimmed over it. When you ask for feedback and constructive criticism, it is wise to accept such feedback without arguing or attempting to rebut it. Most of the comments and suggestions you have received here are very valid points and should be heeded. Arguing with, or rebutting, those who offer comments that you have requested comes across as arrogant. You would be well advised to avoid such behavior, lest you be perceived an intellectual peer of the liberal elitists that you deplore in your "essay".

[evilC]

I have to agree with most of the comments regarding editing and style. There is a reason for editors. Unfamiliar words should be used for variety more than showing erudition.
(Was that last sentence meant as an example of itself? ed.)

For web presentations, which I know this piece was not intended to be, this is most important. Long pieces are much harder to read on a screen due to the need to scroll. An article that would be perfectly acceptable for paper may be way to long for web use. Two or three "page downs" is probably enough.
(maybe you could tighten that last para. ed.)

I like the fact that you included footnotes. You wrote some good lines ("try running a laptop on Windex" LOL)

I hope that my comments and those of other FReepers do not discourage you. It is obvious that you have a brain and a vocabulary and are willing to use both. In our sometimes "dumbed down", soundbitten world that is a good thing.
(soundbitten??, Should that be "these are good things" ed.)

[Landru]

You're up, A-M.

And all too soon & before you knew it, you're the mentor.

...doesn't seem fair, huh. ;^)

[packrat01]

Read it again. It's an explanation of why Marxist propaganda is illogical on its' face.

[packrat01]

(Emily voice) Never mind ;-)

[Happygal]

Thanks Landru.

Alec...Just a comment on presentation and editing. What's with the double-barrelled phraseology? And the extended metaphor?

While this exercises your obviously impressive vocabulary, it has the effect of doing two things - a) clouding the real points you are trying to make and b) make you come off as verbose. Verbosity, is often construed as a being more puff than substance.

Cutting to the chase, might also reduce your essay to a more manageable read. Just a few initial thoughts. I will admit, I haven't had the time to read the article throughout. I hope to get back to it later in the day.

[packrat01]

Slow it down. I picked a few sentences out of a lengthy post.

It was a booze analogy written by a minor, and an apt discourse on the "income gap".

If I had two nickles more than two million nickles, and if I lost the two million nickles; I'd still have two nickles more than I need to hug my kids, wife.....

FRNs are a way to keep score, in their system. What I use to keep score in mine; concerns them not.

[packrat01]

wasn't my analogy; but I got your point.

One thing about "secret salarys"; the worker bees don't like supporting the drones, even when they understand the system.

[TheDivineRightOfLifesScum]

A very good article. I read a few more of your articles on your website, you have an amusing style of writing. Keep it up, and be careful about taking criticism, you get some idiots in life who think someone your age needs discouragement.

[packrat01]

'tweren't mine, but I'm sure he appreciates it.

uhm, Alec; you're male I think. If my daughter were to write some of what you wrote, she'd be spitting bubbles.