Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

To: Happygal
You're up, A-M.

And all too soon & before you knew it, you're the mentor.

...doesn't seem fair, huh. ;^)

53 posted on 03/04/2003 6:40:45 AM PST by Landru
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 52 | View Replies ]


To: Landru; Alec Mouhibian
Thanks Landru.

Alec...Just a comment on presentation and editing. What's with the double-barrelled phraseology? And the extended metaphor?

While this exercises your obviously impressive vocabulary, it has the effect of doing two things - a) clouding the real points you are trying to make and b) make you come off as verbose. Verbosity, is often construed as a being more puff than substance.

Cutting to the chase, might also reduce your essay to a more manageable read. Just a few initial thoughts. I will admit, I haven't had the time to read the article throughout. I hope to get back to it later in the day.

56 posted on 03/04/2003 7:03:03 AM PST by Happygal
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 53 | View Replies ]

Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article


FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson