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Using your title, I C&P'd the text, ran it thru MS Word and replaced "Helen" with "Beret-wearing Sock Puppet." I think it makes for a much better read..... ;)

ARI FLEISCHER STOMPS BERET WEARING SOCK PUPPET AT BRIEFING

Excerpt from today's briefing:

Beret-wearing Sock Puppet: Ari, since there is an atmosphere of the imminence of war in this White House, and since we have no direct access to the President, will you state for the record, for the historical record, why he wants to bomb Iraqi people?

MR. FLEISCHER: Beret-wearing Sock Puppet, I dispute the premise of your question, first of all. There's regular -- there's regular access to the President. The President is asked questions all the time. And when the President --

Beret-wearing Sock Puppet: He hasn't had a press conference for months.

MR. FLEISCHER: And when 14 of your colleagues spend 36 minutes asking scores of questions to the President just two days ago --

Beret-wearing Sock Puppet: Well, that's not a news conference.

MR. FLEISCHER: -- they asked the President a similar question, although they phrased it a little differently than you did. They asked the President why does he feel so strongly about the need to use force, if it comes to that, to disarm Saddam Hussein. And the answer from the President was that, given the fact that the world changed on September 11th, the threat to the American people was brought immediately to our home and to our shores and to our families, the President thinks it is in the interest of peace to make certain that Saddam Hussein does not have weapons of mass destruction which he can use against us, either by transferring them to terrorists or using them himself.

Beret-wearing Sock Puppet: There is no imminent threat.

MR. FLEISCHER: This is where -- Beret-wearing Sock Puppet, if you were President you might view things differently. But you have your judgment and the President has others.

Beret-wearing Sock Puppet: Why doesn't he prove it? Why don't you lay it out? When have they threatened in the last 12 years?

MR. FLEISCHER: They have attacked their neighbors. They have gassed their own people.

Beret-wearing Sock Puppet: Twelve years ago.

MR. FLEISCHER: They have launched attacks.
Beret-wearing Sock Puppet: With our support.

MR. FLEISCHER: And September 11th showed the United States is vulnerable to those who would attack us. And one of the best ways to protect the homeland is to go after the threats abroad.

Beret-wearing Sock Puppet: You haven't linked terrorism to Saddam Hussein, in terms of 9/11.

MR. FLEISCHER: It's not -- the threat is what took place on 9/11. You don't have to make a direct linkage between Saddam Hussein and 9/11 to know that others who are planning can try to do it again, Saddam Hussein included.