Animal rights activist decrees that her body is barbecued and her skin turned into a purse

The Independent (UK) ^ | 4-19-03 | Terry Kirby

[William Terrell]

(Mrs or Miss) Newkirk has also laid down that part of her skin be turned into a leather product to show that human skin and animal skin are the same thing and that neither is a "fabric".

Can I get some? I need to make a new cat toy.

[humblegunner]

Get that critter on some meds!

I think we are a few 'scrips too late.
I'll think about this nutjob as I grill up some mostly raw steaks tomorrow.

Kumbaya!!!

[CounterCounterCulture]

Still No Sign of Land (Lifeboat)

From 'Another Monty Python Record'

(Scene: The interior of a ship. Seagulls are crying.)

(groans and coughs)

1: Still no sign of land. How long is it?
2: That's a rather personal question, sir. (low voices)
1: You stupid git. I meant how long is it that we've been in the lifeboat? You've destroyed the atmosphere now.
2: I'm sorry.
1: Shut up. Start again.

1: Still no sign of land. How long is it?
2: 33 days, sir.
1: Thirty-three days?
2: We can't go on much longer. (low voices) I didn't think I destroyed the atmosphere.
1: Shut up.
2: Well, I don't think I did.
1: 'Course you did.
2: (aside, to 3) Did you think I destroyed the atmosphere?
3: Yes I think you did.
1: Shut up. Shut up!

1: Still no sign of land. How long is it?
2: 33 days, sir.
4: Have we started again? [slap]

1: STILL no sign of land. How long is it?
2: 33 days, sir.
1: Thirty-three days?
2: We can't go on much longer, sir. We haven't eaten since the fifth day.
5: We're done for, we're done for!
1: Shut up, Maudling.
2: We've just got to keep hoping. Someone may find us.

6: How we feeling, Captain?
C: Not too good. I...I feel so weak.
2: We can't hold out much longer.
C: Listen...chaps...there's still a chance. I'm...done for, I've...got a gammy leg and I'm going fast;
 I'll never get through. But...some of you might. So...you'd better eat me.
?: Eat you, sir?
C: Yes. Eat me.
?: Iiuuhh! With a gammy leg?
C: You didn't eat the leg, Thompson. There's still plenty of good meat. Look at that arm.
5: It's not just the leg, sir.
C: What do you mean?
5: Well, sir...it's just that -
C: Why don't you want to eat me?
5: I'd rather eat Johnson, sir!
?: So would I, sir.
C: I see.
?: Then that's decided...everyone's gonna eat me!
?: Uh, well.
5: What, sir?
?: Go ahead, please, but I won't -
?: Oh nonsense, sir, you're starving; tuck in!
1: No, no, it's not that.
?: What's the matter with Johnson, sir?
1: Well, he's not kosher.
5: That depends how we kill him, sir.
1: Yes, that's true. But to be perfectly frank I...I like my meat a little more lean. I'd rather eat Hodges.
?: Oh well, all right.
5: I still prefer Johnson.
C: I wish you'd all stop bickering and eat me.
1: Look. I tell you what. Those who want to can eat Johnson. And you, sir, can have my leg.
  And we make some stock from the Captain, and then we'll have Johnson cold for supper.
Crew: (cacophonous) Hmm, yes, good idea, excellent thinking, very good, I don't suppose
 we could have Hodges in the morning, jolly good idea, etc.

[microgood]

This is so funny. I can hardly wait for the PETA barbecue/taxidermy festival.

[Slings and Arrows]

Who is that? Robert Z'Dar's daughter?

[AdA$tra]

Years ago when I worked at Bennigan's, I waited on a young lady at the bar and complimented her on her love fur coat. She said it was made from her St Bernard dog. She couldn't stand to be parted from him when he died. It really was a nice coat. I don't think, however, that I want a pair of leather pants made out of Grandma.

[firebrand]

I'd like to introduce her to the human pea pod that is standing in front of St. Patrick's Cathedral right now, handing out vegetarian literature. A match made in heaven.

[TheAngryClam]

Isn't the peapod the guy who years ago shot up all those gang members on the subway?

[firebrand]

LOL, Clam. I don't know. I don't remember that incident, if you are not making it up. But his suit looked nice and new, very professional-looking. His head was one of the peas.

[TheAngryClam]

IT IS!

The guy's name is Bernhard Goetz. You can read about his blowing away the muggers (who all survived) in People v. Goetz 68 N.Y.2d 96 (1986). My favorite part was where he admitted to police that had he not been so adrenalined up he would have made sure to have actually killed the muggers.

He tried to run for NYC mayor on a vegetarian platform. I used to have an Atlantic Monthly (I think) article that explicitly discussed his peapod suit.

[firebrand]

Well, this was not Bernie Goetz in a pea pod costume. The guy (or gal) in front of St. Patrick's wasn't nearly tall enough. And I don't remember any pea pod costume when he shot those kids in the subway. (Surely that would have been justification for an attack with a screwdriver and Bernie would have served serious time.)

I signed Bernie's petition when he ran for mayor in 2001. He was at the FR/TRT/SAS pro2A rally in Dag Hammarskjold Plaza in June 2001 with his petitions, and I had not signed for anyone yet.

[mollynme]

I thought PETA meant Please Eat The Animals.
One of my neighbors has a bumper sticker that says:

PETA - People Eating Tasty Animals

BTW aren't there specific laws dealing with how you can dispose of a human body?

[TheAngryClam]

That's too bad. I was hoping he'd still be at it.

[Mr. Silverback]

All together now!

Tie me kangaroo down, sport!
Tie me kangaroo down!

[lewislynn]

Animal rights activist decrees that her body is barbecued and her skin turned into a purse

Oh darn, she's about 3 wks late, we just toppled her dream regime that does that to people.

[lawdude]

I volunteer to help her with her first step in this undertaking.

Bwahahahahahahahahah, Undertaking, that's a Joke, son!

[Romulus]

Can such things be?

If only they were.

[NovemberCharlie]

Oddly enough, I just finished rereading "Silence of the Lambs."

[mathurine]

She has a grand impression of herself. Pigskin, Lizard Skin and lots of other critter skin would have more value in the marketplace than her skin once she's dead. While she is alive other parts might have value, but that would be a matter of personal taste.

[BSunday]

Further proof that just being these people is punishment enough.