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IN AN EFFORT TO PLEASE SPECIAL INTERESTS GROUPS concerning the controversial release of the vanity-project/"HATE"-film "The Passion" based on the highly suspect material involving an "alleged" historical figure named "Jesus", Mel Gibson has removed all offensive references and depictions of Crucifixes, Jesus, Disciples, and the word "God". The Romans will be portrayed by GLSEN approved screen guild actors and the Jews by NEA/NAACP approved minorities in order to depict the diversity and inclusiveness of the groups at that time. The sub-titles will be read by a yet-unnamed Gay Episcipalian Cross-dressing Pedophile with a hairlip. Various references attesting to the accuracy and factual references within the Koran will be quoted throughout the film in order to make this a well-rounded fun filled-family event for all. Expect the film to be released at your local indoctrination center this Spring.

Well, you know this is what the Liberals are aiming for...

Wait until the liberals see how popular this movie will be this country. This movie will do blockbuster boxoffice and and the libbies know it. The libbies will be shrieking in horror and asking themselves, how can a movie about Jesus make more money than a movie about Luke Skywalker? This movie will be BIG.

That's good, but needs a few additional changes.

The actor portraying Jesus will be a black woman, thus demonstrating recognition for the oppression of minorities and women. Whoppi Goldberg is currently auditioning.

The name Jesus is, of course, male centric sexism, so expect to see the name 'Jesus' changed to 'Jesse'.

The Romans will be protrayed as Capitalistic businessmen. Expect to see business suits in place of legionare robes.

The Jews will be portrayed by liberal politicians. Look for Joe Liberman in the role of Peter.

Hillary will play Mary Magdala.

The setting will be the Bronx.

Instead of a crucifixion, 'Jesse' will die of Aids because the Roman Capitalists refuse to pay for treatment.