Replies

I hold up this entire inane string of drivel as exhibit A of what is wrong with the Church of Christ.

I grew up in the Church of Christ -- actually, "had it inflicted on me" is a better choice of words. When I was a high school senior a church lady backed me up against a wall and said I'd lose my soul by going away to the state university. I guess she was right. As a freshman I was working on a paper in the library and came across the US Census figures on religious groups. In my innocence I looked for Church of Christ at the top of the page with the Catholics and Methodists and Baptists. The church I knew was listed at the bottom of the page in the "Cults and Sects" heading.

The Church of Christ is the most anti-intellectual, hurtful and devisive cultural institution in my part of the country (Middle Tennessee). The branches of my family that have practiced COC the hardest are also our most unhappy, bitter and unstable people. I've witnessed hypocrisy, mental and physical abuse, mistreatment of women, sexual shenanigans, substance abuse, and just general downright meanness for generations. I believe it was Molly Ivins -- who was right about nearly nothing else -- who was dead on target with her line, "Church of Christ will cut you."

I struggled for years to get away from the predations of these piffle obsessionists. My wife and I are both COC refugees, and we decided early on that no Church of Christ insanity was going to be visited on our children. We dug a generational fire break to protect our two children, who are thriving, succeeding and flourishing in ways their Bible-hounded cousins cannot.

My parents have basically accepted that I'm done with the whole foolish business. In fact, if I had a magic wand I could wave just once and fix the most problems in this part of the country, I would make the whole Church of Christ disappear, root, branch and history. My hidebound mother-in-law still doesn't get it, and is still pestering away.

The bottom line of what is wrong with the Church of Christ is this: the fixation on personal salvation leaves adherents with a lack of "sense of the other person." Throughout my dealings with these people -- literally thousands of them -- I have found a profound lack of compassion or empathy.

The conventional wisdom on members of the Church of Christ is that "they think they are the only ones who think they are going to heaven."

That's not quite right. They are convinced no one else even has a shot, but in their heart of hearts they suspect they are probably not going to make it to heaven, either. In their attempt to read the Bible as "God's Code Annnotated," they come away dazed, confused and discouraged. They have been taught since the cradle that God will send them to hell for the least little trifle, so they live in fear and dread. So, in frustration, they pester each other to distraction over silly things like whether they should keep the glass communion cups or risk everlasting fire by switching to plastic. I saw a church split over that very question.

In the end it is a movement of the miserable. If you are not miserable when you go in a Church of Christ, you will be before you leave. The whole thing is just nuts. It's the Tennessee Taliban.

I am one of the lucky few who escaped fairly sane. My advice to anyone who is trying to get away is this: just put the Bible down for a while and back away. Give yourself permission to take a break. After a while, the ringing in your ears will die down.

If there is a God with all the power and intellect to create you and the whole universe, surely that being is way too advanced to be obsessed with such chicken droppings as whether you use a piano at church.