BYU devotional, Elder Glenn L. Pace: The divine nature and destiny of women

LDS Church News ^ | March 9, 2010 | Marianne Holman

[Elsie]

My interests are elsewhere.

Then WHY are you in this thread?

[Elsie]

Bye boyo.

Translation:

I win;

You lose...

PPPBBBTTT!

[Elsie]

This is tantamount to calling him a criminal. Words have meaning.

Cease and desist or I shall taunt you again!

[Elsie]

I think it just might be that “priesthood tone of authority” - makes them all sound alike....like pompous, arrogant jerks!

 

MORMON

ATTITUDES OF SUPERIORITY

 

  1. I’m Superior; I have a special gift of the holy Ghost -- you don’t!
  2. I’m Superior; I have God’s true priesthood power -- you don’t!
  3. I’m Superior; I can go in God’s secret Temple -- you can’t!
  4. I’m Superior; I’ve been Endowed with special Gifts and Knowledge -- you’re just normal!
  5. I’m Superior; I’ll have my family with me in heaven -- you’ll be with strangers!
  6. I’m Superior; I’m becoming a God -- you aren’t!
  7. I’m Superior; My women know their place as servants of man and yours don’t.
  8. I’m Superior; YOUR creeds are wrong because they come from man - mine comes from God (you can find each one printed in our Scriptures).
  9. I’m Superior; I don’t HAVE a creed - I’ve got 13 Articles of Faith.
10. I'm Superior; I have 4 "Bibles"-- the standard works (5 if you count the JST) -- you've only got one: in as far as it is translated correctly.
11. I’m Superior; I can lie with impunity about such things as church membership, church growth, church doctrine, church history, church influence, etc. —                           -- You can’t.
12. I’m Superior; I am right (everybody knows) when I say 'evangelical' Christians are lunatics --                            -- You’re a hideous narrow-minded bigot, who is persecuting me by practicing discrimination by saying I'm not a Christian.
13. I'm Superior; I have a testimony about a prophet -- you don't.
14. I'm Superior; I have a Scripture-producing Amos 3:7 prophet -- you don't
15. I’m Superior; I have a Living Prophet who talks to god every day -- you have a dim-witted hireling of Satan who only talks to himself.
16. I'm Superior; I have my calling & election made sure -- you don't.
17. I’m Superior; I have magic underwear to protect me from the bogey man -- you don’t.
18. I’m Superior; I have secret clasps and grips to give the angel so I get admitted to the celestial kingdom -- you don’t ;so you can’t.
19. I'm Superior; I know secret handshake codes for afterlife entrances-- you don't.
20. I’m Superior; I will see Joseph Smith setting on the right hand of GOD, when I get to Mormon heaven, and he will recognize me and judge me favorably                              -- You’re on your own; when you get to wherever you’re going!
21. I’m Superior; I’m going to hie to Kolob -- you’re going to who knows where.
22. I’m Superior; I get to have a harem and act like a celestial stud for time and all eternity -- you don’t.
23. I’m Superior; I have sun stones, moon stones, sky stones, cloud stones, Saturn stones, and the evil eye of Osirus guarding my temple                            -- all you have is a stupid cross.
24. I’m Superior; My church has billions in assets stashed away -- yours has taken a stupid vow of poverty.
25. I'm Superior; Last - we have the power to keep a whole race out of our priesthood if we wanted to reinsert our 148-year legacy  (we ARE still keeping an entire GENDER at bay!)

 

Revision 46.1

Semi-Official creed of the EXclusive club of Freeper Flying Inmans.

All rights liable to be abused.

Why can't the RESTORED gospel be found in the Book of MORMON; like Salt Lake City SAYS that it can?

[Elsie]

The constant demonization and misrepresentation of Mormons has already poisoned millions of minds in the US and elsewhere.

Try being a PRESBYTERIAN!!!

(With a last name of FANCHER!)

[Elsie]

WHO will rid me of this meddlesome priest?

[Elsie]

I have no bone to pick with the Mormons...

Then leave the thread before you get insulted as well...

[ejonesie22]

Yes, there is something more Epic..

Eddie boys FAIL!!!

[Elsie]

Shovel Brigade - Jarbidge, NV - July 4th, 2000

[Elsie]

I had one that went through college with me.

What was his GPA?

[Elsie]

 

How is that a woman cannot enter the celestial kingdom unless or until her earthly husband calls her secret name?

 

 

'Cause that's what the RULES are!!! 

 

^{That don't make'm INFERIOR er nutthin!!)}

[Elsie]

 

We are speaking about the falsehood of a doctrine.

 

 

In YOUR opinion!!!! 

 

^{Besides: you KNOW that if we lose our faith in the Church; that would just KILL us - so don't act CUTE!!)}

[delacoert]

However, to rave about an impending “genocidal” pogrom against mormons is certifiable nutz

Yes, and it was hateful and disturbing to see Watson's verbal assault directed toward you earlier.

In my opinion, people whose worldview has been warped in a way that endows them with a combination of moral and intellectual supremacy (Brahmin cast Indians for example) are prone to these sorts of outbursts.

All of the entitlement of that sort of internal grandiocity going unrequited must be quite the load to bare...

S-N-A-P

[Vendome]

Still, they are good looking.

[Vendome]

practicing a new font format? LOL

[Elsie]

“The constant demonization and misrepresentation of Mormons has already poisoned millions of minds in the US and elsewhere.

More truthfull:

“The constant pounding on doors by 60,000 MORMON missionaries and misrepresentation of Christianity has already poisoned millions of minds in the US and elsewhere."

---

Do not worry though: for many folks are PRAYING for these MORMONs with the poisoned minds.

[Elsie]

Pompous ass has succulent sibilants!

[delacoert]

What was his GPA?

ROTFL

Probably higher than the combined GPA of the rugby team that was on my dormitory floor in my freshman year.

[Elsie]

Watch it CAREFULLY!

[darkwing104]

Then leave the thread before you get insulted as well...

Ahh Be nice...I gave y'all a nice big target tonight...