I can only imagine. I was in the RS presidency in a STUDENT ward (single - no kids) and it took up an insane amount of time to do it right.
Families that have the husband in the Bishopric and wife in Primary or RS hardly see each other.
And non-Mormons often fail to understand that YOU DO NOT turn down a ‘calling’. That is like turning down God Himself.
My wife told a bishop she would think about a calling once. He almost fell out of his chair. He assumed she would blindly accept because, as you said, she was being “called of God” to do this “wonderful work”. I forget if she ever did it.
When she was approached about Young Women’s last year, she told her current bishop the same thing. He didn’t seem surprised. The ward she’s in has big problems with the kids and the adults and it’s noticeable.
The adults rarely perform the callings as intended and many of the kids are ambivalent/apathetic about most of it. She accepted, but only after we had discussed it at some length.
Since then, she has changed her presidency twice because the adults weren’t willing to do things as intended. The stress this is putting on her is beginning to show.
The kids are dropping out like flies because she’s making an effort to run it properly and they don’t like it. They want a social club.