[Guyin4Os]

It's pretty clear that's about as "face-to-face" as someone can get

Exactly. Furthermore, "Pani-El" means literally, "Face of God." (Not the peneal gland).

[Tzfat]

No, it literally means "sides of G-d." there is no Hebrew word for "face." Even if we translate "panyim" as "face" it is plural, so "faces."

When you say "literally" you must do a mechanical translation. So in the case it is "sides of G-d."