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I am so sorry for your loss, there is no greater one than to lose a child. Sometimes we have to quit asking for guidance and take action. I knew there was something wrong, but didn't know what it was. I started with the family doctor to rule out anything physical and then he sent me to a great psychiatrist. It took a while to find the right combination of medications, but we finally did. You don't get out of that hole immediately, it takes time and that's when you can begin to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Prayer can assist at that point. It helps you through it.

If people were not so afraid of mental problems they might seek help sooner..

It was not your fault that your son choose his way. You may feel so, but its not true. At maturity we make our own choices but it leaves those left behind devastated. I prayed for a year and finally said (don't be offended) the heck with this, I'm going to the doctor to find out whats wrong. I was in my 30's and my parents had nothing to do with my situation. Neither did you have any thing to do with your son's situation.

I remember reading years ago someplace in the OT that G-d gives us physicians also...maybe in was in proverbs, I don't remember. I know nothing I can say will help ease your grief, I too lost a child shortly after birth. Her name was AnnMarie and she only lived 10 hours, so I understand your pain, but just know, it was not your fault..We all make our own decisions.

There can be many reasons for suicide, for some it is a brain that is not functioning correctly. I am glad I am not the one that judges after death. But I do believe G-d is merciful and only He reads the heart...

We never know who is reading these threads, do we?

Steve and GG: I just want to say that even though we only know each other here, I am so pleased to have both of you in my life. You have an impact, and of course you will never know, in this life, who you have touched, or how you have made life’s burdens a little lighter just by your presence — yet, you have. That’s important. The world needs all the good folks it can get....

Thank you so much for what you have written inthis reply and your other replies. I have other children and many friends too who need my help and I am thankful to be still able bodied and capable of doing what needs to be done when they need help. There are so many who are struggling these days.

And science has come so far in the past fifty years in understanding the brain. Truly amazing. So many wise comments on this thread.