Posted on 04/19/2012 11:58:25 AM PDT by NYer
I saw an advance copy of a survey by William J. Byron and Charles Zech, which will appear in the April 30th edition of “America” magazine.
It was conducted at the request of David O’Connell, the bishop of Trenton, and its focus was very simple: it endeavored to discover why Catholics have left the church. No one denies that a rather substantive number of Catholics have taken their leave during the past 20 years, and Byron and Zech wanted to find out why. They did so in the most direct way possible and asked those who had quit.
The answers they got were, in many ways, predictable. Lots of people cited the church’s teachings on divorce and re-marriage, gay marriage, contraception, and the ordination of women. These matters, of course, have been exhaustively discussed in the years following Vatican II, and I’d be willing to bet that anyone, even those vaguely connected to the Church, could rehearse the arguments on both sides of those issues. But there just isn’t a lot that the church can do about them. No bishop or pastor could make a policy adjustment and announce that divorced and re-married people can receive communion or that a gay couple can come to the altar to be married or a woman present herself for ordination.
What struck me about the survey, however, was that many of the issues that led people to leave the church are indeed matters that can be addressed. Many of the respondents commented that they left because of “bad customer relations.” One woman said that she felt “undervalued by the church” and found “no mentors.” Many more said that their pastors were “arrogant, distant, aloof, and insensitive,” and still others said that their experiences over the phone with parish staffers were distinctly negative. Now I fully understand that parish priests and lay ministers are on the front lines and hence are the ones who often have to say “no” when a parishioner asks for something that just can’t be granted. Sometimes the recipient of that “no” can all too facilely accuse the one who says it as arrogant or indifferent. Nevertheless, the survey can and should be a wake-up call to church leaders—both clerical and non-clerical—that simple kindness, compassion, and attention go a rather long way. I distinctly remember the advice that my first pastor—a wonderful and pastorally skillful priest—gave to the parish secretary: “for many people, you are the first contact they have with the Catholic Church; you exercise, therefore, an indispensable ministry.” One respondent to the survey observed that whenever he asked a priest about a controversial issue, he “got rules, and not an invitation to sit down and talk.” Unfair? Perhaps. But every priest, even when ultimately he has to say “no,” can do so in the context of a relationship predicated upon love and respect.
A second major concern that can and should be addressed is that of bad preaching. Again and again, people said that they left the church because homilies were “boring, irrelevant, poorly prepared,” or “delivered in an impenetrable accent.” Again, speaking as someone who is called upon to give sermons all the time, I realize how terribly difficult it is to preach, how it involves skill in public speaking, attention to the culture, expertise in biblical interpretation, and sensitivity to the needs and interests of an incredibly diverse audience. That said, homilists can make a great leap forward by being attentive to one fact: sermons become boring in the measure that they don’t propose something like answers to real questions. All of the biblical exegesis and oratorical skill in the world will be met with a massive “so what?” if the preacher has not endeavored to correlate the “answers” he provides with the “questions” that beguile the hearts of the people to whom he speaks. Practically every Gospel involves an encounter between Jesus and a person—Peter, Mary Magdalene, Nicodemus, Zacchaeus, etc.—who is questioning, wondering, suffering, or seeking. An interesting homily identifies that longing and demonstrates, concretely, how Jesus fulfills it. When the homily both reminds people how thirsty they are and provides water to quench the thirst, people will listen.
A third eminently correctable problem is one that I will admit I had never thought about before reading this survey. Many of the respondents commented that, after they left the church, no one from the parish contacted them or reached out to them in any way. Now again, I can anticipate and fully understand the objections from pastoral people: many Catholic parishes are huge—upwards of three or four thousand families—and staffs are small. Yet, just as major corporations, serving millions of people, attend carefully to lost customers, so Catholic parishes should prioritize an outreach to those who have drifted (or stormed) away. A phone call, a note, an e-mail, a pastoral visit—anything that would say, “We’ve noticed you’re not coming to Mass anymore. Can we help? Can you tell us what, if anything, we’ve done wrong? We’d love to see you back with us.”
The problem of Catholics leaving the church is, obviously, serious and complex, and anyone who would suggest an easy solution is naïve. However, having listened to a representative sample of those who have left, parishes, priests, and church administrators might take some relatively simple and direct steps that would go a long way toward ameliorating the situation.
I can personally attest to this. When I left two different parishes, not one of them ever contacted me. In fact, I ran into the pastor from one of those parishes who struck up a conversation about the parish but never asked why I had left, nor did he invite me to return.
The pastor at my current parish, has called and personally visited all the previous parishioners. Many of them have returned. It does make a difference.
The most frequent answer you will get from a Knight of Columbus about why he joined is “I was asked”.
Threaten them with Hell Fire and Damnation like the Baptists do.
The Catholics that I know left because of the false doctrine of Rome.. I tried to stay after I was saved but the more I studied scripture the more I realized that Rome does not line up with it.. finally I had to go .
It is very easy to get an ‘annulment” from the church... Most of the people in the pews use or used birth control ...the church is full of gays..including a large part of their priests..
So those issues are non issues.. things like the mass, prayer to saints..a deified Mary,a non biblical priesthood and mass..those are marks of a man made church..not the church of Jesus Christ..so we leave
The pastor at my current parish, has called and personally visited all the previous parishioners. Many of them have returned. It does make a difference.
Easy enough in a small parish, but we have over 4,000 family registered at ours. Not easy for our pastor to contact each one of them, let alone realize when somebody leaves. For some reason, I am still receiving parish news, raffle tickets, donation envelopes from my previous parish ... we moved parishes over 7 years ago.
Locally, the parishes just can't keep up with who's coming and who's going.
>>In fact, I ran into the pastor from one of those parishes who struck up a conversation about the parish but never asked why I had left, nor did he invite me to return. <<
At my old parish, they were happy as a clam to have me gone. No one contacted me because they were thrilled that I was out of their hair. Just too orthodox for the Happy Catholic staff.
Sometimes, they know why you left and are glad you’re gone.
On the other hand, my husband said that he started to consider converting when my current Pastor, learning that the hubby was Presbyterian, invited him to mass anyway. Down to giving him a CCC and telling him that if he felt uncomfortable sitting in the pew for Communion, he was more than welcome to come up for a blessing. Just cross his arms before kneeling down and the Priest would know what to do.
We are very blessed.
Yep.
I left when they brought out the guitar music and the awful weekly missals with bad art and the sermons on the song “The Sounds of Silence.” That was about 1971. Luckily, we have many beautiful churches in New York City that still have the spiritual mystery and glamor that is so important to those of us who grew up in pre-Vatican II.
I believe your case is covered under “Church teachings.” The article is about other issues.
>>Most of the people in the pews use or used birth control ...the church is full of gays..including a large part of their priests..<<
Wow! Aren’t you blessed to have found a congregation of perfect people! Amazing!
Me? I’m a sinner, big time. I’d rather spend my worship time with the flawed. It makes me feel welcome.
Nah, we don’t want folks who reject Christ’s divinity. Goodbye to them and good riddance..
-—the more I studied scripture the more I realized that Rome does not line up with it.. finally I had to go.-—
Fortunately for you, your interpretation of Scripture is infallible, and you have no need of correction from any source, outside of the Bible, which was communicated directly to you by God.
I can’t figure out why you bother posting. You’re already saved, so why bother with us reprobates?
A lovely bigoted post! It’s very hard to believe you were once a Catholic. I’m a lapsed Catholic and still find your remarks repulsive.
My favorite poster - Cronos - is here. Give ‘em hell, Cronos.
Exactly my situation. As I've said before, when I first got saved and felt the need to start attending church again, I went BACK to the Catholic church since that was the church I was raised in. But the same thing happened to me. I saw the discrepancy between what was taught there and what is blatantly obvious from just a careful reading of Scripture that I had never read before.
I had no preconceived notions of what to expect out of Scripture. Well, except what the Catholic church taught me. But then I saw the conflict between what it taught and what Scripture said and that was enough for me.
You believe what you believe and I what I believe.
We are both about 70 years so it won't be long and we will find out the real truth about God.
If you are right, pray for me, as I will do for you.
If that were true it would be funny. Sadly, it's not.
>So those issues are non issues.. things like the mass, prayer to saints..a deified Mary,a non biblical priesthood and mass..those are marks of a man made church..not the church of Jesus Christ..so we leave<
Didn’t Jesus hold a “mass” the night before he was crucified? If God became a man and stepped into our world, was the last supper considered “man-made’?
Thank you.
If you’re ever in the Detroit area, drop me a FReepmail and you can join us for Mass.
You’re always welcome!
(we even have screened confessions before EVERY mass, for your sacramental pleasure)
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